thread: Birth Day

  1. #1
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004

    Birth Day

    I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks in early May 2005. It was a planned conception and we were really looking forward to having our second child within 18 months of the first. (Alexander was born in May 2004).

    Today would have been the baby's due date.

    I'm currently going through a RANGE! of feelings (mainly sad and upset) and it's really wierd to have to deal with them. I also feel that the child obviously wasn't meant to be.

    My mother tells me that dealing with the grief gets better with time (she has had two miscarriages, the last one when I was 19!), but at the same time you always remember them.

    Does it become easier with time?

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2004

    Hi Divvy,

    Im so very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.

    I lost my first child, a daughter whom we called Katelyn at 18 weeks in March this year. I am now 24 weeks pregnant with my second child.

    I can only speak for myself but i personally found Katelyn's due date extremely hard. So i understand how you are feeling today.

    This is only my experience but I cant really say that the grief of losing Katelyn gets easier because i still feel so incredibly hurt that her life was taken so quickly from us. However i have found that the more time passes i manage to deal with life better and manage day to day better than i have a few months ago. Of course i still have extremely sad days and i think about Katelyn every single day. I dont think that we will ever forget our precious babies but i do feel as though i am slowly finding a way of fitting Katelyn into our family and also my future. Therefore i guess that i find getting through the days much easier.

    Well my heart goes out to you and your family today. Keep coming around and chatting to the girls here, you will find a very supportive bunch of women.

    I am here if you want to talk.

    Love Sarah

  3. #3
    Chi-Chi Guest

    Hi & Welcome Divvy,
    I can sympathise with you, for the loss of your precious baby. I too have experienced the same loss & my heart goes out to you. It was just over a year ago for me also.
    I think its really important to be able to acknowledge the pain & sadness & to express it, not try to put on a brave face.
    I have hard days still & I'm sure it will get better. I don't think I'll ever truly 'get over it', but I believe knowing that your baby is at peace is what will get you thru those bad days. And having people to talk to really helps too, especially people who've been thru the same thing.
    I hope you find support from the people around you & also from everyone at BB.

  4. #4
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004


    My brain is WAY out.

    Alex was born in May 2003 and I had the m/c in 2004.

    Brain on holidays.

    Thanks for the support.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Nov 2003

    Hey Divvy,

    Big *hugs* to you. I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby and can totally understand what a difficult day it must be for you today.

    I have had 2 m/c, one at 16wks last year, and another at 10.5wks in May this year (am now nearly 11wks pg again). I haven't reached the EDD for the 2nd m/c yet (that's in December), but I can vividly remember how difficult the EDD was for the 1st m/c. It was all I could think about in the days leading up to it, and on the day itself all of those feelings of anger, sadness, grief etc just came rushing back.

    I have found that I still feel intensely sad about both of the babies we lost and sometimes I just miss them so much. But, for me, over time it has become easier to deal with that pain, and whilst it's always there it's not as raw as it was in the weeks following the m/c.

    I hope you have managed to take some time out today. I found it helpful to do something in memory of my little angel. My DH and I went down to the beach and I just spent some time thinking about the precious time I got to spend with the baby and saying goodbye again.

    You will defintely find lots of support from everyone here on BB. Take care.


  6. #6
    Registered User

    Aug 2003
    Melbourne, Australia

    Divvy I think with time it does get better. But you never forget. I was about 25 weeks pregnant with Alana at the time of my M/C's EDD. I decided to keep myself busy around that time to help make it easier. I found it sad to hear about others having their babies when I would have had mine.

    I am now at the time when I found out that I had the M/C. And honestly, I find that harder than the EDD, as I remember how devasted I was to get the confirmation over the phone that infact I was M/Cing.

    Unfortunately there are alot of us here on BB who can understand, so know that we are here for support.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Aug 2004
    Sth East Melbourne

    Unfortunately there are alot of us who understand what you are feeling at the moment. Even if we havn't been there yet we will get there one day.

    I know myself I can't stop thinking daily what stage a I would be at my now. Today I was thinking about the fact that by now I would have a nice big belly, I would be just going into the 3rd trimester. I am dreading my due date already which is something that no matter how hard I try I just can't stop thinking about. DP doesn't understand it at all though which makes it hard and like alot of the other gilrs on here I have alot of friends that are pregnant that are pregnant at the moment and one due exactly the day I was due. It' s jus tsomething that I can't push aside when daily there are reminders. Thank god for this site I say!!!

    The girls here are amazing I have to say, and I hope to see you around the forums and get to know you.

    Chin up, and remember to cry if you need to and feel free to vent away when you want/need.

    Big hugs

  8. #8
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004

    Thanks everybody for the support.

    It was a very emotional few days. However, I discussed it with DH and he's very understanding.

    But I still miss the feeling... and there's always the longing...

    I guess I'll grow used to it someday.


  9. #9
    lovebourbon Guest

    I just wanted to say that I hope your doing ok.
    I recently lost my son and while still a while away I find my self already planning the two days (EDD and M/C).
    Just know your not alone and our hearts are with you.