Closest friend seems to be dodging me after mc :(

[lissy]

My oldest & closest friend seems to be dodging my calls/texts.

Maybe things are getting to me a little after everything. Maybe its just my emotions finally saying they've had enough.
But today im really feeling down about it all, im struggling & have tried calling her a few times in the last few days & text her & gotten no reply.
When I let her know about the MC all I got was a fairly sterile sounding text message back & no contact since.
She has always been a super friend & until now we have been very close for a number of years.

I feel really hurt at the moment, she hasn't been in contact to see if everythings ok, she doesn't even know that I had to have surgery!
Just feel really lost about it ATM. And even worse coz I thought she would understand after having mc herself.

DF says its not something I should worry about at the moment, but its really upset me that I have tried & havent heard anything from her

[Rainbow_Mumma]

Maybe she just doesnt know what to say although she has had a m/c before i have had a child pass away on me when he was a few hours old but i still struggle to condole other people whos children have passed. Or my other theory when she had her m/c maybe she wanted a lot of space just by herself and got bombarded by people and is trying to give you space to reflect. I dont know im just trying to put a positive spin on it and thats my positive thoughts!

[Alice]

Lissy, I can really relate to this post. I too have a close friend who has been really distant, and even a little irritable on the few occasions I've spoken to her. I got very upset, as I thought she would understand the most, having been through it herself. Another close friend who also had a mc was the same. Mum thinks maybe it is just too painful for them to remember. It is terribly hard for you when you need love and support to get you through such a sad sad time. I'm so sorry - you don't need it on top of all your other pain.

Alice x

[mrsmac]

It may be as the PP have said or maybe there is somehting really big going on in her life and she is caught up in that and has no more to give anyone else IYKWIM?
I am like you I always think it must be somehting I have done but quite often it has nothing to do with us and is about something else thats going on in their own lives.

[lissy]

My post probably sounded a little selfish, it does now that I go back & re-read it, but it was how I was feeling. I don't have any relatives close, all 3hrs +, parents 12 hrs away, so realise I had probably been relying on having friends there to prop me up more than I should've. At the time it seemed so important, but I've surprised myself & done ok on my own so far.

Don't get me wrong, DF has been here with me the whole time, but there are some things that he doesnt understand & I think that there are some things about MC that you definately don't understand unless you've been through it yourself. I certainly didn't understand when my friend went through it & now wish I'd been able to/known how to support/comfort her more than I did at the time.

Alice - I'm sorry that you are feeling down as well, coz like you said its just one more thing on top of everything else to deal with. I hope when you are both ready that you are able to talk to your friends about your little angel, & maybe find some comfort together after sharing similar experiences.

Over the last few days I have just thrown myself into doing my own thing & tried very hard to concentrate on my feelings( not other peoples or what I think they may be thinking) & try to feel that I am strong enough to stand on my own two feet through this.

Well it's back to the grind for me tomorrow (work), wish me luck it's going to be a testing day.

Thanks for sharing Ladies, everyone of you are so very appreciated in here

[Alice]

Good luck tomorrow at work Lissy - I will be thinking of you. I have a certificate until Wednesday and I think I'm going to use it. My family and close friends are only an hour and half away but it makes it hard, that's why friends close by matter so much. Like you, I've let it go for now and just trying to get on with things here at home. DH is good - he keeps distracting me with gardening things and my brother has rung a few times to talk about other things. Step by step, we'll get there, like all the others here who have had this sad experience. I don't think it will ever go away, but it will get easier. for tomorrow.

Alice x