I had an early miscarriage recently too Sazz and my DP reacted similarly to your DH and I was very disappointed in him.
I think he somehow thinks I'm exaggerating or turning it unnecessarily into a bigger deal that I should be when I call it a "miscarriage".
To me, it doesn't matter what the scientific terminology is - it's more that for a few days I thought I was pregnant and had started thinking about baby names and all that nice stuff that comes with being pregnant. It's hard to come to terms with suddenly losing all that excitement - no matter how early it is.
I know exactly what you mean about thinking ahead fiona.
I also had the pos hpt followed a few days later by a neg.
I was wondering if you had any pg symptoms as your angel was the same age as mine. I had nausea and tingly bb for about ten days prior to my blood test with the nausea ending the day before AF and the bb normal by late day of AF.
I have a bit of a strange Q for you: I swear I can smell milk on myself and was wondering if you had the same thing. I realise your DD is 6months older than mine and not sure what your BF situation was but surely my milk couldnt have started so quickly? I finished BF back in Sept so not that long ago...
Hope you are feeling better about things now... I think I am although I did have a little teary with an IVF friend yesterday when she asked me about our plans, while telling me of her plans. She is the first person IRL I have told.
I didn't get the tingly boobs like I normally do when pregnant but I just 'knew' I was pregnant. It was weird - a few days after DTD I felt like I could feel things going on inside. The best way I can describe it is it felt like I had sperm swimming around inside me meeting the egg. I know that sounds absurd!
As for the milk thing - no I didn't have that but I didn't 'really' BF DD although I expressed for two months so it's been about 17 months since that happened.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the body is a funny thing. Although in theory it's probably impossible for me to have felt the sperm fertilising the egg and it's unlikely that you would have got milk so early that doesn't negate the fact that we felt these things.
I'm feeling at peace with it all now. Because of my age, I was aware that there was a higher chance of miscarriage and I do feel reassured that I can still actually get pregnant so I try to see the positives.
I'm also very fearful about being pregnant again as I suffered from an unstable pelvis last time which caused a huge amount of problems physically and emotionally and put an enormous strain on my relationship with DP. Those feelings all came back when I was pregnant with my angel so I'm seeing this time as a chance to do as much preparation as possible to work through those feelings if the pain comes back by doing as much physio as possible and seeing a pain management counsellor as well as a relationship counsellor. Sorry that was a bit OT.
I hope you're also finding yourself a bit more at peace. I think it's good to talk about feelings rather than bottling them up (which I have a tendency to do sometimes).
Hi ladies,
I was talking with a friend a couple of weeks ago, and she too said that I probably wasn't actually pregnant, so it wasn't a real pregnancy - it was probably juts the fertility hormones.
I had to explain that HCG isn't a hormone normally given to women on IVF, and I certainly wasn't one of them, so for a blood test to register HCG, there had been something there - even if it was only implanted for a few short weeks.
So I think much of the misundertanding of early loss comes from a lack of educations/understanding of what happens from conception to birth. I'm a really busy-body & enjoy (and parts of me *have to know*) researching EVERYTHING. But I also know that most people would find that tedious/boring, or are just plain not interested. And I'm faily sure that most people have never given a first thought to it - much less a second.
I'm more accepting now - of the MC and of people's insensitive comments too. They just don't get it. And I say - poor them.
We are going to have a natural cycle with a defrosted blasty this month - can I ask...
We have two icicles in the freezer, and with a 60-75% chance of suscessful defrost, did you consider putting both in? DH & I are considering putting in both, even though we risk twins, we just think the chances of suscessful implanting, and pregnancy would be higher.
I'm going to give the clinic a call later - I just wanted a 'normal' person opinion, instead of the 'clinic' opinion... which may be swayed by the chance of ripping a few more $$ by saying its better to do only one.
I have always had two embies transfered whenever two were avail. Even when in my 20's. must be just the diff clinic protocol I guess? That's 5X double transfers and 1 single transfer over the years with one baby and one early MC to show for it so I guess the chances are pretty small. Although the prospect of this last transfer being twins if successful did freak me a little as I would have had 3bubs under the age of 2!!!
A lot of people dont like the term "chemical pregnancy" they feel its too clinical. However for me - it helped to call it that - and the fact that I was actually pregnant (if only for a week) made me feel good that It could happen to me (I have never been pregnant before!) I had +ve POAS but very faint, the blood test confirmed the pregnancy was not going to be viable, I had a cry and was a bit moody for a few days but was overall feeling positive about the experience (I just hope it doesnt happen again!)
Whatever your thoughts though (whether you want to call it a chemical pregnancy or a m/c) it is whatever important for you to call it at that time and the loss is very real for you. Many men just don't get our feelings and obsessions about these things - I have heard that many dont feel a thing till the baby is out and in their arms!
It seems we are in the same boat at the moment! I'm so sorry to hear you've had a recent loss. Hope you are ok now!
I see you also have one frost left: me too! Do you know what your plans are for that one yet? I'm still not sure when we will go forward with ours. I am kinda scared to do it in case it doesnt thaw or is a BFN and then we have to consider "what next?"
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