Its been 5 months since I lost my JellyBean and I feel like the grief and anxiety is getting worse. I started crying during my second period class this morning (I'm a teacher) and have had to come home from work. I know the way I'm feeling isnt normal but I cant seem to get past my loss. The problem is that I want my baby back, not another baby, my baby that I already loved and had plans for. I know this cant happen, but I cant seem to switch off those thoughts. I should be starting maternity leave in 3 weeks. I should be HUGE, I should have a nursery set up, ds should have moved to his big boy bed...

Some of the people in my life seem to think I should be over it, that other people that had losses are over it and that I am being selfish and ruining their ability to celebrate their own pregnancies. I have never spoken about my mc with them and have only expressed my joy for them, but they keep being horrible. They also express the view that such an early loss (baby died at 8w, discovered at 10w followed by dc) does not count as a real loss

My husband doesnt really understand, though he tries and my mum just worries about me so I dont feel like I can talk about it. I have some lovely friends who listen, but I feel like its all I ever talk about...

I have been diagnosed with coeliac disease which they think may have caused my mc. I am seeing a herbalist who is trying to heal my body but has told me I cannot ttc whilst under her initial treatment (at least 3 months). I'm just a mess and feel like I have no hope of ever becoming pregant , no hope of anything...my beautiful ds is all that is keeping me going and I feel very anxious when we are not togther. I just want to stay at home with him, but I have to work

I know this proably makes no sense, but Im just feeling so lost and like my life will never get any better...please tell me it will.