I too am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious baby. As some others have said, words just aren't enough sometimes but please know that there will be so many people here thinking of you and ready to support you.
LuLu - I'm so sorry to hear what has happened, there really is nothing worse than seeing no heart beat on the screen is there?! Just know that there is nothing you could have done differently and know that we are all here for you when and if you need to talk.
Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart.
It has been so wonderful to see your responses, you have all gathered around me when I needed it most.
Spoke to Dr yesterday, he is wonderful and made me feel a bit better. It just seems to be "one of those things", natural selection and all that. I was not very confident about this pg, but I could not put my finger on why.
I am booked in for D & C this afternoon, I think I'm happier to do it this way as it seems my body wants to hang on. I don't think I could bear it to happen on its own, that would just be too much.
Poor DD very upset, and DS been up all night, the bugger. DP has been great too, and I have been fighting my natural tendency to close up and run off, and talked to him alot which really has helped.
Thank you again, hope this surgery isn't too icky. I'm going to have a bath and cover myself in my stash of bodyshop goodies to ward off hospital smells.
LuLu - how did you go today? I know with my own missed m/c I felt it was a relief to get it over with and have a D&C rather than waiting for it to happen.
Take the next few days/ weeks/ whatever you need to look after yourself.
Again, I would just like to say how sorry I am to hear of you going through this :flower:
I still feel very shocked actually. I think I'm surprised at the depth of it really. I trying hard not to push feelings away, I did that when my best friend died a few years ago and that does NOT work.!
Had D&C on Thurs (i think). Wasn't as business like as I thought. The staff were very caring and didn't gloss over why I was there, gave me all the info I needed in a matter-of-fact yet compassionate way.
They gave me a lovely certificate in memory and the teenyweeniest little hat and booties you have ever seen. So I cried my a** off.
DD has been at her poppys house for the last 2 days (as usual). They pop in every so often. I think its best shes there so she isn't exposed to my grief right now, and good company for my dad who is very sad too.
Her homeroom teacher noticed she wasn't her usual self, and arranged for her to see the counsellor at school. I have to send her a letter of thanks. So glad someone took care of my DD when I couldn't right now. It seemed to really help.
Had a rant down in the punching bag, mainly about all the other things that happened to me lately. That felt good.
I just feel strange. At night I feel so anxious and in shock. DP rubs my back till I fall asleep, bless his smelly socks.
I can't talk to anyone right now as I'm dreading hearing "probably for the best". I know they're saying it as the babies would have been so close together and THEY think we shoudl have waited a bit longer.
Thanks for listening.It's good knowing you guys are out there.
Oh lulu, it is such a devastating thing. I am really glad that the hospital staff were so good to you.....it sounds like they were very caring and understanding of what you are going through.
It can be really hard to grieve, but it is essential......if you don't it can bite you on the bum down the track......but it sounds like you already know this after losing your best friend.
I can totally understand your feelings right now, and please believe me when I say that they are normal feelings to be having, and are totally understandable. You'll probably go through a whole range of different emotions too. I know I had so many people say things to me like "it wasn't to be" or "there must have been something wrong" that if I had a dollar for every time I heard it, I'd be rich! Unfortunately those who haven't suffered a m/c don't understand how it feels, and whilst I knew in my heart that these comments weren't intended to upset me, they did. People simply don't really know what to say in these circumstances if they haven't been there themselves.
Hi Lulu
sorry for the loss of your precious bub.
I too know the heart wrenching feeling of seeing no heartbeat and hearing those dreadful words "sorry there is no heartbeat". Nothing can describe the feeling. My sympathy is with you during this difficult time.Remember we all care about you and want you to know you are in our thoughts.
Hope you are feeling ok after d & c. Lovely to hear staff were so kind and compassionate for your loss.
Glad you are feeling a little better and everything went well. You have a special DP and kids to look after you. Don't listen to anyones opinion about the babies being close, it was your decision not theirs.
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