Ectopic Pregnancy General Discussion

[~Kim~]

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[Wombat1981]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this thread, having just joined a few minutes ago. I wanted to add my experience to help process everything that's happened over the past 3 weeks. I did an at home pregnancy test one week after a missed period but it came back negative. I went to my Doctor who said I was pregnant but that the development wasn't normal and I had to expect a miscarriage. 2 days later the bleeding started and went on for a further 10. Back to the doctor who was worried I may have an ectopic pregnancy. I was admitted to hospital for 3 nights as my bleeding was heavier and I had shocking pain in my lower left side. But I was discharged after thinking something had 'passed' and my hormone level slowly dropping. However 2 days later, after going back to the hospital for another monitoring blood test they told me my hormone level remained the same and I needed to have a d&c, with a possible laparoscopy (or however it's spelled).
The following day was very traumatic, particularly as I had to have my uterus widened with a suppository beforehand and wait 3 hours before the procedure could happen. My husband wasn't able to wait with me which was also distressing. After I woke up the Doctors told me they had done the d&c and during this accidentally punctured the top of my uterus, as well as undergoing the lap and having found a 'big' fetus in my left tube. I was really lucky that my tube stayed in however the Doctors cannot tell me why it happened in the first place or how functional it will be in the future. They looked in my right tube as well and said it looked perfect which was a relief.
I have been home for 2 days now and go between floods of tears at the drop of a hat, sleeping often in the day and continuing to experience pain. I'm on ibuprofen as I have a strange reaction to panadol.
I'd like to mention that I am living in Germany so am not sure if people's experiences are different with the medical system and their treatment. Though I have to say that the Doctors here did a great job. They just aren't hearts and flowers kind of people. My husband and I had only been trying a short time to get pregnant and are upset about our loss. I think the shock of having the surgery effected me a lot more than what I'd thought. If I only had to have a d&c I feel like I would have been OK. We have no children and I feel really nervous about trying again. We were told to wait a minimum of 3 months before ttc again, so that the lining builds up again. The Doctors were all really positive about us conceiving correctly in the future but still.
I got in touch with a psychologist while I was in hospital and received information about contacts in the community. Even though my German is rather good I feel more comfortable discussing this in English. It's really helped reading all your posts and hearing your experiences.

[Mildez]

Wombat I am really sorry for your loss. What a horrific thing to go through.
I also had an ectopic pregnancy back in 2009 and fell pregnant 2010 again and went on to have my daughter in 2011. My tube was removed and the remaining one was damaged from the outside (cant tell what the inside is up to) so that's great news your other tube looks good. Combined with the fact this time it didn't take too long to get pregnant fingers crossed when you feel up to trying again things happen quickly and smoothly. It wont stop the pain from this time but it does help to move forward IMO when you have another baby. Like you I had to wait 3months in which time I had a second surgery to repair my remaining tube and flush it and then it took 10months to get pregnant when we started trying which was pretty good for us as we have fertility problems prior to the ectopic anyway.

[Wombat1981]

Wombat I am really sorry for your loss. What a horrific thing to go through.
I also had an ectopic pregnancy back in 2009 and fell pregnant 2010 again and went on to have my daughter in 2011. My tube was removed and the remaining one was damaged from the outside (cant tell what the inside is up to) so that's great news your other tube looks good. Combined with the fact this time it didn't take too long to get pregnant fingers crossed when you feel up to trying again things happen quickly and smoothly. It wont stop the pain from this time but it does help to move forward IMO when you have another baby. Like you I had to wait 3months in which time I had a second surgery to repair my remaining tube and flush it and then it took 10months to get pregnant when we started trying which was pretty good for us as we have fertility problems prior to the ectopic anyway.

[Wombat1981]

Thank you Mildez. It's posts like yours that give me hope. I am off to the doctor this afternoon to get my stitches out. Hoping the discomfort settles down soon.

[Sam732327]

I have had 4 pregnancies.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2011 and had a surgery to correct it.
Anyway

I had 1 m/c in 2011 at estimated 4/5 weeks
1 live birth in 2012 at 37 weeks
1 abortion may 2013
Just had my first ectopic and am going to get methotrexate injection today. With this one my progesterone and hcg levels were very low. Should be about 8 weeks today had my first ultrasound and had a gestational sac measuring about 5 weeks in my tube. Hoping the methotrexate works....don't want surgery

[Mildez]

Sam I am sorry to hear about you needing the methotrexate I hope it worked for you and you were able to avoid the surgery.

Wombat how are you going?

[Summery]

Hello everyone, do you mind if I join in?
I've had quite the ride over the past year, which somewhat pinnacled this week.

Last March, I was 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I noticed that I hadn't felt bub move for a little while. I didn't think much of it as we had just had a scan and Doppler the day before and everything was tracking along perfectly, and I'd had zero complications throughout the pregnancy. I was healthy and so was bub. I was in the "waiting game" zone of my pregnancy.
When I woke up the next day and I noticed no movement again, we decided to go to the hospital to get checked out. There began the most difficult year of our lives. With a few small words, a room full of people and a long uncomfortable silence, our lives shattered into pieces and I faced the reality of giving birth to my daughter still.
48 hours later, after a 5 hour labour, she was born easily and we cried many tears.
Since her death, the last year has been somewhat of a blur of highs and lows. I've had cervical laser treatment, I've been in and out of hospital and doctors to have every test you can think of, all of which came back perfectly, we've organised a funeral, and landscaped and built a memorial garden, we've fundraised for SIDS and been introduced to heartbreak beyond anything we could imagine.
So you can imagine, we were pretty excited to get some happy news when finding out we were pregnant a few months after we were given the all clear after cervical surgery for an abnormal pap, in December last year. After feeling a bit anxious for a few weeks, on Xmas day, I spent the night in hospital after the bleeding began. Boxing Day (my birthday) my miscarriage really ramped up and I toasted the year 2013 away with a lovely bottle of red, after losing our second bub.
January was a mix of emotions but with a second loss came a sense of resilience, perspective and strength. I reconnected with nature, with food, with painting and with the joy of life. After 9 months since our stillbirth, I finally felt like a stuck back together, better version of myself again.
Excitedly, we became pregnant again in February (seems we don't have trouble with that bit!), and I felt a lot more confident and calm this time. My symptoms were strong and this reassured me! I felt better than ever for the journey ahead, and felt like I was in a good place to handle the pregnancy ahead of me.
On Tuesday morning (I was six weeks pregnant), I lay in bed feeling pretty ordinary with what I thought was morning sickness. Then the dull pain started in my right abdomen, and I automatically knew. I called hubby when I couldn't move off the bathroom floor as I tried to bring my fever down on the cold tiles. I asked him to come home and pick me up and take me straight to hospital, which he did worriedly and they found I was bleeding internally and my tube had ruptured. My blood pressure was 70/49 and they rushed me straight into surgery, which extended to a two day stay. I'm home now and feeling pretty resilient after everything we've been through, but also quite aware from our past losses that things will come up later, unexpectedly, and probably amplified by the approaching 1 year milestone of losing our daughter.
What a story! Sometimes I read it and think "is this really my life? What a bloody great movie this would make!"
We have gotten through these hurdles with a lot of hard work, love and support around us, determination to not let the enormity and anger take over, tenderness for each other, hours of counselling and journaling and really tough self development and some more hard work I forget how hard I have worked to get here. It's not easy staying on track and stay strong whilst letting yourself feel the devastation and all the other emotions and reactions that come up when you get thrown so many curveballs.
I'm told my fertility shouldn't be affected and my other tube looked healthy, as did my ovaries. I have endometriosis so that's a slight issue, but I'm being referred to my specialist again and we'll tackle the whole Summery story
I was just talking to hubby about it, asking how he is (he got a real fright this week) and he said he feels like now this is our normal, and so it's not shocking anymore when we have to deal with something. Repeated exposure to trauma and disappointment over a year has made us super resilient and maybe abit numb. We know what to expect, what sort of feelings that approach and leave, and we are good at measuring our energy and observing our bodies and minds as things come up.
Can anyone relate?
There's no real point to my post other than to reach out and say hello, and share my story. I have a strong urge to share my story now, I feel like a wealth of knowledge and experience on all things womanly and challenging now! Funnily enough, I'm in a line of work that sees me building others capacity and resilience so it seems fitting that my journey has been full of hurdles.
Thanks for listening

[Tegam]

Wow summary. What a story or should I say what a reality. I'm a bit lost as to what to say. My journey with ectopic and loss is different to yours however I just wanted to reassure you that I have conceived twice after losing my right tube. Once the egg was from my right ovary, the drs reassured me that the body was an amazing machine and that it's wasn't as two dimensional as we grow up believing and that yes one tube can just flip around and catch an egg from either side!

Hugs for your many losses and the pain of not being able to hold your tiny loved ones. Your husband sounds amazing and I am glad that you are in this together. I do hope that you are holding your rainbow baby as soon as possible

[Summery]

Thanks Tegam...losses are all relative, and are all hard no matter what we all experience. Hugs to you for your losses too, I'm so sorry we have to meet under this circumstance. I'd be really keen to hear your story if you felt like sharing.

Almost a week on now! The last week has been a blur but my recovery has been really good and today, I almost feel normal again. I very very luckily got a cancellation appt for my specialist on Wednesday, which is so good as if this didn't come up I would be waiting until September. He'll hopefully come up with a care plan for next pregnancy and explain some things to me, answer some questions. My pain is gone now and I feel 2grams lighter on the right! Hehe.

[Tegam]

Hi summery,

You asked for my story but I'm unsure it will be very sensitive.... I have four healthy bubs and one on the way. I had a missed miscarriage at 12weeks after DD1 that I still to this day am shocked at how badly I took it, the devastation will never leave me, but now I feel that I can better relate( in a small way) to people that have had losses.

My ectopic was after my third child. It's was poorly managed by nearly everyone involved, I had to discharge myself from one hospital and present to another only to rupture as I went into theatre. Again at the time I didn't understand why but now after a few years I can see how it changed me.

Again I am so sorry for your losses, I wish there was someone that could take away your pain and more then anything I wish you could fast forward to the day you have your take home baby in your arms. I do understand that feeling of 'I don't want to be that person' but if there is any place that you can be yourself, and talk openly its here on Bellybelly, use the support here, tell your story. Tho only give of yourself what you can, sometimes you can get Beverly bogged down in everyone else's sad stories. So at this precious time, be selfish, take what you need and give only when you can!

Always an ear here too if you want to pm me

Hugs

Ps I tried to send this as a PM but your inbox is full

[Summery]

Thanks Tegam
Again, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It really does make an impact when things aren't dealt with right medically. My experiences at our little local hospital have been so positive, but I've heard some horror stories! It doesn't make the pain of losing a pregnancy any easier to feel isolated in your experience and to feel like people aren't listening to you. It sounds like you had a really disappointing experience

Thanks for the offer of support! Not to worry, we've been in counselling (and am very open and proud of the fact!) since my daughters death and SIDS and Kids gives me unbelievable support too. I don't know how people go through any level of loss without some really structured support and therapy, it's too much to bear and to deal with alone. I come on the forum to reach out too, but I'm well supported with an amazing hubby, really sensitive supportive friends and the best family I could hope for that rally around us always. The ectopic has been such a weird, crazy blow that we weren't expecting that I find comfort in hearing other people's experiences as this is still a new phenomenon for me! I'm also in full research/reading mode on my new favourite topic, so anything I can learn from women who have walked in the same shoes is a good thing!
So thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it xxx

[Tegam]

I put a lot of benefit of my good fertility down to acupuncture if you want to give something new a try

[Summery]

Thanks Tegam! I'm already onto it! If anything, during this pregnancy it really helped just keep me calm and release tension. It's quite amazing, isn't it? I have no idea how it works but it works!
I'm booked in again for a few weeks

[Mildez]

Summery I am so sorry to read what you have been through. Tegam congratulations of your pregnancy. Hope everything is going along perfectly. I just found out I am pregnant again for the 9th time. Given my history I don't know how things are going to pan out. I'm nervous and want this baby so much but am so worried/scared it will be ectopic again. I haven't tested again since 12dpo (only 14dpo) today. I am not home so thought I'd test again when I get home on Sunday. I have a Dr appointment on Monday. I have a lot of left sided pain already. It's the right tube I am missing and I know my left tube is damaged. I don't know what to do with a scan. Do I book in as early as I can to try locate where bub is knowing I won't see a HB or do you wait another week to see a HB and risk not diagnosing an ectopic early?

[Summery]

Hi guys, hope everyone is well! Congratulations mildez! All going well for you?
I'm wondering if any of you experienced longer cycles after your ectopic...before my daughter, I was 35 days. After birth, I went back to 30 days, give or take 1 day. Since the ectopic, it now looks like I'm 34-35 again (just waiting for my period to arrive now, on CD 33)
Did anyone experience this too?

[Tegam]

No summary I just returned to normal. Hope someone has a better answer for you...