I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. You dont need this stress whilst you're grieving. It's really immature when people start the not talking rubbish especially when they're in the wrong.

DH and I have a strong relationship but we still attend counselling. Personally I think it's essential after your baby dies, to help with grief, to monitor depression and to deal with any other issues that arise.

If you and your DH had issues prior to your loss, grief and stress will just make them worse. It sounds like he doesnt validate your feelings which is a major issue in itself. He may think it's your problem but you're in a marriage together and if he values you and values your marriage then what's wrong with getting outside help?

Has your SIL apologised? That's so out of line I'm speechless.