How do you announce a singleton pregnancy when it was a twin pregnancy....

[*Beema*]

Assuming that all goes well with our scan, BT's and OB appointment over the next week, we are hoping to announce our pregnancy to our family and friends, so we can have more support and I am finding it difficult to hide...

How do you announce to family and friends that you are pregnant, but have also suffered a loss of a twin... I want them to understand that it has been an extremely difficult few weeks, we haven't yet been able to really grieve as we won't feel that Flicker is safe until born into our arms... so we may not be bouncing around, filled with excitement and experiencing a carefree pregnancy. We have a long way to go before we are "safer" as such.

Close people will be on the phone or face to face, but I will put it up on the blog and put up what we have been through for the past few weeks... and probably something on FB at some stage...

TIA, I have been dwelling on this a bit lately as we want people to understand that Flicker had a twin Firefly, but the wee little angel wasn't strong enough to make it....

[~StarBright~]

i think as simply as that- while you are still pregnant with Flicker- that you lost a much loved twin.

Maybe start by saying... that its been a very tough few weeks- we have some good news and some sad news, we are ___ weeks pregnant, however, bubs was one of two- and Flickers twin, Firefly sadly did not make it. We would really appriciate support and love from you all during this pregnancy, as it is going to be difficult for us to be complelety at ease until Flicker is born alove and well, and we would like our lost baby FireFly to be loved remembered and known...

It will depend whether you are speaking to people face to face or phone or via written word- i think in a way writing it for people to read would be easier as you will get the chance to let it all out before the barrage of congratulations all start.. if your talking to people- it will be harder to find the best way to say it all quickly and get all the info etc out before people are ready to congratulate you...

I think the starting point of we have some good news and some sad news will be a good way to open the conversation.

I hope all goes really well for you this week, and that Flicker sticks and stays strong xxxoooo

[thepixie]

oh babe this is so hard!!
I really don't know but I think your idea of putting it on the blog is a good one - that way you can explain it all the way you want to but you don't have to do it over and over to everyone, and you don't have to do it always in person which I think would be so hard.
you've been so strong and brave, this must be such a difficult bridge to cross. But I think on the other side you will feel so much more supported. I hope so anyway.
I guess you tell people you're pregnant and before they get too carried away explain that it you have had a very scary first trimester and you won't feel 100% safe until Flicker is home with you.
If people want more details than you can handle explaining direct them to the blog. There might be some people you feel you want to share it all with in person but I imagine it wouldn't be everyone.
I wish I had more to offer but you can have as many as you can handle
ETA - StarBright I think your suggestion is excellent...

[gemini_girl]

Beema I'm sorry Firefly could not make it through, I prey that Flicker will arrive safely. :hugs:

[*Beema*]

Thankyou girls for your replies

Thankyou Starbright , you have put it beautifully, I couldn't word it right and you have just done it so beautifully

Thankyou Pixie , I think I will put more detail on my Blog, I think it will help especially for those who read it (my family all read it) not that I have updated it recently as I found that when I wrote my breastfeeding story up there I got a lot of comments from family and friends, even DH's work mates, that they had no idea how difficult it was and how hard I tried. Especially MIL

Thankyou Gemini_girl

[~StarBright~]

I'm glad i could help love xxoo

[feeb]

Hugs you have been given some fantastic advice allready.

Good luck

xoxo

[Tegam]

Assuming that all goes well with our scan, BT's and OB appointment over the next week, we are hoping to announce our pregnancy to our family and friends, so we can have more support and I am finding it difficult to hide...

How do you announce to family and friends that you are pregnant, but have also suffered a loss of a twin... I want them to understand that it has been an extremely difficult few weeks, we haven't yet been able to really grieve as we won't feel that Flicker is safe until born into our arms... so we may not be bouncing around, filled with excitement and experiencing a carefree pregnancy. We have a long way to go before we are "safer" as such.

Close people will be on the phone or face to face, but I will put it up on the blog and put up what we have been through for the past few weeks... and probably something on FB at some stage...

TIA, I have been dwelling on this a bit lately as we want people to understand that Flicker had a twin Firefly, but the wee little angel wasn't strong enough to make it....

Gee i think what you have said does justice to Flicker, Firefly, your DH and you. Just be honest. Those worth the effort will understand, those that dont wont so dont waste your time on them! \

Good luck honey and i hope that you can relax into your pregnancy soon!

[beckoes]

i think you put it beautifull without even realising, and SB also put it in to words beautifull too! i think it will be a hard thing for some to get their heads arounda nd maybe some people wont know if they should be congratualtion you on you pregnancy or being sorry for your loss. I think when you tell people you almost have to tell them that its ok to be happy but you want people to acknowledge your little firefly. just sending some more hugs to you. xxx

[YoYo]

I think maybe say it is a pregnancy, but a Bitter Sweet one.....

It must be a very hard thing to tell people, and I hope you get all the support you need xx

[Tegam]

Hey beema, how are you?

[*Beema*]

Thankyou so much Teagam, Beckoes and Minimax

We told DH's family Saturday night, and it was so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.... I broke down completely, DH had to tell them.....

I thought that I was coping better with it all as I can write about it, and talk about the topic of MC (as I did with one of the girls from work on Thursday), and I was completely fine.

But when I came to saying out loud what happened to me it was a completely different story, the raw emotions just escaped and I was not at all prepared for how drained it would make me feel for the night and whole next day.

I eventually rang my parents late on Sunday night and told them and managed to hold it together a bit better, I am the first in our family on both side to have experienced a MC, and what makes it confusing is that at the same time we are trying to celebrate that we have a bubba on the way.

My mum said it prefectly, she didn't know if she should be happy or sad, she just didn't know what to say, and for me just being there was what I needed.

I have spoken to the couple of people in our office and my boss, but noone else IRL yet. It was easier as it was jsut the boss on Monday as no one else was in the office, so we had a really long chat about it, his wife has a MC @ 12 weeks so I knew he would understand.

I need to email our friends who are OS and some other close friends who I want to know more personally before posting on FB or my Blog. Something I do need to do soon. But just not rushing into it, when I feel ready.

Thankyou for asking , I am hoping to have gone public by the weekend, so we can keep going forward...

[Tegam]

Oh Honey i thought that this might be hard for you. Take your time, people wont understand why you havent said something sooner but thats their problem. I didnt tell anyone i was pregnant with my Evie until after 17weeks, some not til after 20wks, so what it was my news to tell!

Thinking of you and both your bubbas!

[thepixie]

Thinking of you hon

[*Beema*]

Thankyou Tegam

This evening I emailed our OS and some close friends here, and within 1/2 an hour we recieved a lovely phonecall from DH's best mate and his wife sent me an sms as she was at work but she is going to call over the weekend. It is going to be hard for them as they will be in the UK for another year, and they won't be here, but we know they will be just a call a way, there were amazing when DD was born. A few of them are heading back late July early August which will be so specialy to have our very close knit group slowly reforming after a few years of being spread all over the world.

A couple from Oz have also replied in email and written beautiful messages of respect for Firefly and such supportive and caring messages, it has brought me to tears. And they have actually been glad that we share such personal information, so they can understand and be there for us.

I am glad that we have chosen to share, and to open up about what is so often a taboo topic, I feel that we can deal better with our emotions and our friends have been really understanding and caring, espeically about something they have had little or no exposure to.

I want to write down quite a bit more ready to post on my blog before I go further, but knowing that we have told those whom are very close to us, increases our support network and I know that DH will get the support he needs as well.

Pixie, thankyou so much for so many miss you mate xxoo

[thepixie]

I wanted to say more last night but I had just got home from a 3 day work trip to Melbourne so I was a bit cross eyed.
It sounds like you have wonderful friends and family and having got over this difficult hurdle of sharing the bittersweet news you will now be surrounded by the same warmth, support and understanding IRL as you are here.

[Tegam]

Sounds like you are doing well and taking things at your own pace. I think it is sometimes harder to tell and be open but i think it helps up to heal! You are a very strong women!