Possums - i still feel anger - not all the time, but a lot of the time when i think about what we've been through, the anger and resentment builds in me until i can't stand it - and instead of dealing with the source of the anger (the absolute unfairness of our lot in life) i pick something else to be angry at - usually something ridiculous, soooooooooo not warranting the level of anger - but i don't notice it til afterwards!

i find talking it through helps - counselling has been a blessing in the past - but sometimes just talking through the crap with someone who understands (fellow ivf'er or someone i am close to that has been through multiple losses) helps a lot

yesterday marked four years since the loss of the first of our angels - i knew what the day was, but i only realised how much it was impacting me when i snapped at DH for the fourth or fifth time about something ridiculous. i felt like all i was doing all day was snapping and then apologising. when i finally got to the point of realising why i was so antsy, i talked it through with him and, thankfully, he got it - and just having been able to acknowledge what was bugging me made it more managable. DH did a couple of things yesterday that i could have gotten very grumpy at, but instead i channelled that emotion into more positive thoughts - yes, he stuffed up, but at least he was trying kwim??

i can't tell you how long is too long to feel angry. the all-consuming anger lasted several months every angel - but the underlying anger is obviously still there for me 4 years later.

if YOU think it's getting too much, go and speak to the counsellor linked to your clinic. the negativity isnt' the ideal headspace to be carrying when you're going into a new stim cycle (good luck btw!)

huge hugs

BG