Hi girls,

I guess I'm just trying to bounce this off some people who might understand....

When I was prg back in March we brought a beautiful old fashioned wicker bassinet for the baby. I saw it on ebay and fell in love with it. As a lot of you know, we lost our baby at 12 weeks.

I've had the bassinet in the spare room and most of the time I'm OK with it being there. In the last few months I decided it was best to get rid of it because I didn't think I could put another baby in it (I'm a bit superstitious when it comes to this stuff I guess) and we are having a lot of trouble ttc so I don't know how long it'll be before we would use it anyway.

My girlfriend is having a garage sale today and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to try to sell it. Only problem is, while packing it up I got really upset and now I don't think I can let it go.

I'm cursing myself for having ever brought it in the first place when a little voice inside my head was telling me not to jinx us.

I feel horrible to my angel baby, like I am pushing them out of my memory and getting rid of all reminders. I know that's not true but it's playing on my mind.

The other thing I'm thinking is that maybe if I am lucky enough to fall prg again I will feel just wonderful putting my new baby in that bassinet, kinda like a dream realised??

I'm sorry if none of this is making much sense. Just when I thought I was doing really well with all of this it's all come flooding back.

I rang and spoke to my mum and to my DH of course, and have decided to hold onto it for now. I can always change my mind later.

What would you do?