I just had a feeling it was my frist pg and i just knew i kept calling the dr to ask for a scan and he kept saying no and when he finally said yes i found out that i had a missed misscarriage and it had been three weeks since the baby had passed.
Pregnant with my 4th child i felt from the begining something was just not right even going into the 12 weeks scan i was expecting something not to be normal and i was right even when the cvs and amnio said all clear i still felt uneasy and did not feel good about buying baby clothes i kept telling DH lets just wait to buy the pram and when the 19 week scan gave us a definate answer i knew i had to say goodbye and i was prepared because i had been expecting it.
With my first pregnancy I had no idea. I didn't know what to expect, and just thought it would happen lah-de-dah. However, I remember saying that I felt no connection whatsoever for a baby inside, and I also had no m/s which everyone kept saying "it's just 'cause you're so healthy". Yeah right! lol.
I had acupuncture (just to help balance my body at the time) and the next day I had the tiniest amount of spot bleeding. I knew this wasn't good, and it all went downhill from there. Apparently the baby never formed weeks ago and I believe the acupunture helped my body realise this (blighted ovum). I had told pretty much everyone because it was after the 12 week mark and we just presumed everything was fine, that was one of the hardest parts for me, that and the fact that I really had no idea.
The next mc I knew all along. It just never felt right and even though I was trying to be hopeful little signs like the lack of symptoms, some cramping and just no connection had me knowing it would never eventuate.
I'm now 10 weeks pregnant and it feels totally different this time. Although I still freak out at every sensation, and who knows I might lose this one too, but I am not afraid and have a good feeling that everything will be ok. We'll see...lol
Last edited by Amethyst in the Rough; July 25th, 2010 at 01:20 PM.
With both my m/c, I had a dream that my baby died. In the dream, they were toddler-age, very cute little kids, not pregnancies or newborns, and they died, very sad. With my second m/c, I think I knew from the beginning that something is off, I just could not get happy. Even when we saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks, I still could not convince myself that there is a living baby there, just did not feel this connection. Very different than when I was pregnant with my daughter. With her, I just felt her even before I got the BFP.
With my first pregnancy I never even considered the posibility that it would not eventuate to a real baby. I knew way before my test that he was there and we were so excited to see him and his HB on XDP's birthday. That scan went perfectly... Or so we thought. Turned out that his HB was 127 @ 10w5d but it did not seem to concern the tech. Exactly one week later I lost a clot... Two days later I went in for my D&C.
With DS I was told I was not UTD lol. I had constant m/c dreams but he was a sticky.
I felt more pregnant with my M/C than with my son lol.
The last one I only told a couple of ppl I was UTD because I was afraid that it wouldn't stick. I was going to hide it until it was obvious to everyone the was a bub a cookin'.
I just knew it from the beginning. I kept asking mum if she had such a sore lower back so early, and she said it was just my uterus growing and not to worry. I was still worried. The next thing was DP's bad reaction to this unplanned joy...... I wondered how I was going to get through this, and just couldn't picture a happy outcome. Next was the dream. I had a dream about our little girl (I KNOW she was a girl) and she ran up to me, (I'd say she was about 18months old) and jumped into my arms. I remember a feeling of not wanting to let her go, and just holding her so tight, until I woke up. That was my goodbye dream.
The final straw was the spotting. When it started, I kept trying to cling to hope, but deep down inside I just knew this baby was not going to make it. It was my first pregnancy, so it was hard not knowing what to expect or how I should feel. I had a scan, saw a heartbeat, heard 'everything looks ok' but I still didn't believe it. I remember feeling relieved that baby was ok, but still had a feeling of impending doom.
I was right. Our baby was lost at 7wks 6 days. I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible cramps. Now I realise they were contractions. I passed our baby alone in the bathroom, and cried and cried and cried as I held her in my hand.
This pregnancy is different. I don't have the same fearful feeling as the first time. This pregnancy was planned. DP is supportive, even excited. My symptoms although vague, are much more than I experienced last time around, and I haven't had any goodbye dreams. However, in all of my dreams I'm heavily pregnant. I think this is a good sign. I can sense this baby has a different personality to the first.
Only time will tell if my predictions are right, and that this baby is going to be ok.
I didn't know. Because it was a molar pregnancy, I still had all the pg symptoms, which actually were worse than they were with this sticky one. I never ever got that feeling that the baby was gone.
I don't think I had a 'feeling' something was going to go wrong...I didn't buy anything for Josh though, thinking I will do it later when I know he'll definitely be OK. Maybe I was doubting my pg without realising it??? The only thing not going in my favour was a big fibroid in the uterus and the OB said I will most likely deliver a bit early. I was feeling quite sore aroud 16-17 weeks but I thought it was the fibroid so put it down to that. When I went into labout at 21 weeks I still didn't think it was labour, rather the pain from the fibroid (that's what I thought they were treating in hossy, turns out they didn't tell me what was happening so I wouldn't get stressed out). I do remember the morning before Josh was born, it was something like 1 am in the morning, I just had the most dreadful feeling and felt scared to be alone in the room (I had the whole room to myself, there were 4 beds). I felt like someoe was there with me, it was really weird. I had to ask one of the nurses to put the light on for me.
With our first loss, I started wondering when the pregnancy symptoms disappeared. I even posted a thread asking if it was normal. That was about 8-9 weeks. I hadn't bought anything yet. I was holding back. The day of the OB appt was the first day I started looking at things like teddies. Then we found there was no HB and we went into shock. What's struck me in hindsight was my first reaction to the BFP, apart from shock, was to tell DH if this didn't stick, he was going to have to take Menevit next time. I had spotting at 6wks, but had a scan and saw a HB, though it was only 97bpm. No-one said anything about that though.
With Leo I spotted again at 6weeks and scared we were going to lose him. I was terrified until I felt him move, then I'd get scared he wasn't moving enough. I even wondered at one stage if he might be deaf, because he didn't seem to be as active or responsive as other people's babies. I've gone over notes I made during the pregnancy and I keep saying I hope the baby is OK. All the scans were normal. I don't know if it's my normal paranoia or if I knew all alone that there was something wrong. I had a hard time visualising a newborn - it all seemed so abstract to me. I could only "see" a toddler. I've since found out Mum was worried all along, but she doesn't know if it was because of the previous m/c or instinct. She had a bad dream the night I went into labour and couldn't settle all day.
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