I've wanted to ask for a while now...

[LimeSlice]

I have the twins in mine because when I mentioned them in some posts etc, people would question what I was talking about. It just means I don't have to preface any post I make in the MAL forums with "I once was pregnant with twins but lost them etc etc".

They don't define me, they do effect me sometimes and that loss has shaped how I view pregnancy, miscarriage, loss and my daughters now, but how they have done that is not something I can, nor will, explain to anyone really, that is mine alone.

[Rach75]

I only recently put my ticker as Katy's birthday because I felt the older we got and more kids we had she was being forgotten by the rest of the world if taht makes sense and I want her to remembered

[Maruschke]

I only recently put my ticker as Katy's birthday because I felt the older we got and more kids we had she was being forgotten by the rest of the world if taht makes sense and I want her to remembered

Makes perfect sense Rach .

[luna moth]

Comes and goes. Sometimes I don't want to see that reminder, and other times the connection is so intense that I feel like I need it to be there.

I have to confess to feeling comfort when I see others' sigs with angels, a sense of "they get me"

As for grieving, I think there's far more to it than how far along you are when it happens. A loss at 4w2d when you've been trying for two years, well, I imagine that to be really hard. Whereas an unplanned pregnancy lost at 9 weeks might not be so difficult. (I say that because it happened to a friend and she barely batted an eyelid) But I honestly couldn't say.

A counsellor said something to me once - "you POAS in the morning, you get two lines, and by the afternoon you've worked out what school they're going to. A m/c changes that; it alters the course of the next 20 years the way you'd planned it. So you have to grieve accordingly." And when I think of that, then my sadness feels validated.

[Kazzo]

I have my 2 because although I was heart broken at the time, without them I would not have the 2 beautiful girls I have today. They are a big part in my lifes journey and I feel that they should and always will be acknowleged.

[ferrals5]

I have not put my 7 week m/c in my signature simply because i see it as natures way there was something wrong and my body did what it had to i delt with it moved on and was ok with it but my 19w 5d loss of my daughter was another thing i felt her move saw her u/s fell in love with her and was devastated when we had to let her go she is my 1st daughter and will always be part of my life so she is added in my signature with my boys it the same as when people say to me is this your 1st i say no my 5th i have 3 boys with me and one girl watching over me and one on the way i will always include her.

[Tascha]

You have to do what you feel is right.

I have mine.. because I am not the same.. and now can understand others on that same plane.
But that's me. That is part of who I am.

Hugs. Do what is right for you.