Sezjm - thats what we are all here for. Many of us have been through similar things to you, and dont worry - we have all had the same thoughts.
I think itwould be very hard if this happened to you during your first pregnnacy as there would be nothing in the back of your mind to say - I've done it before, I can do it again.
Know that you will do it again, and things wont be the same for you. There is a very small percentage of people that have this experience twice in a row. The odds aren't high that this will happen to you again next time.
Dont feel bad for being jealous about friends. I had 2 mums fall pregnant in mothers group about the same time as me, and everytime I went back to MG it would nearly break my heart to see their bellies expanding. But its not my right to take joy from them - they deserve the happiness too (and of course all the sleepless nights!)
Lilylou - I hope things are OK wiht you.