Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

[Emmykate82]

Thanks flowerchild, every minute it is getting easier. And the more i hear from women who have lost children in the past and gone on to have successful pregnancies makes me feel more and more reassured. I truly appreciate this website/forums. It is such a wonderful way to get support 24/7.

[Miss.B]

Hi everyone,
I'm a newie trying to connect with others who have experienced a loss of a baby. I lost my little boy Joshua at 20w 6d, on 1.10.08. He was born sleeping. I did an IVF cycle in May this year and conceived on my first go ( what a blessing ) and things were progressing great, small bleed at 11 weeks, was told it could have come from the implantation site. I have a nasty big fibroid that started to degenerate and sent my uterus into spasms, then contractions days after my 20 week scan. Can't believe I'm not pregnant as I should be....he was due on 12.02.09.
Beata

[NaeNae]

Beata70

I am soo very sorry about the loss of little Joshua.

Its a very difficult time for you, there are so many women who experience loss and everytime i read a new story my heart just aches.

I know how you are feeling now - I felt the same but I took some comfort knowing that my little girl is in the arms of my Nan and is with many family members who will look after her until we are reunited.

You will find BB is a terrific place to share your story and to find support, hundreds of women and men to help make you laugh, who'll support you when you need to vent and to offer words of comfort when you are down.

Be kind to yourself, allow whatever feeling to rise to the surface and accept them as "normal" grieving is a very personal thing and everyone does it differently. Seek help from Professionals if you feel like you need to but know this is an option and you do not have to even if you get told you should, you will know what you need right now.

If you ever need to talk or vent feel free to pm me, I am more than happy to be an ear or shoulder if you need one. Sometimes its easier to talk to a complete stranger and the anonimity (sp?) of BB users can help also.

all my love and hugs

Nae x x x

[diannescruffy]

Hi,
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious son. Take time to grieve and I would also encourage that you seek professional counselling. You will find lots of comfort and support here on bb as unfortunately there are many of us who have lost angels. Keep your precious memories of your son close to your heart.
Big hugs to you.

Regards,
Dianne

[Miss.B]

Hi Nae and Dianne,

Thanks so much for your very kind words and your understanding. It's so good to chat to someone who really understands, and really cares. Losing a baby is definitelly the most devastating and heart breaking experience I've been through, and what upsets me even more that there is still so many girls out there who will go through the same experience. My heart just goes out to them as I know what a life changing and painful experience it is. My heart goes out to you both also, I know what is like to walk in the shoes of a mother who definitely doesn't deserve her baby being taken away so soon.

I'm getting a bit better now, I have been seeing a grief councillor for the last 2 months and I have gone to a support meeting throug SANDS which has been very confronting but good for me to get my feelings out in the open. These girls have also experienced a terrible loss, and some quite a while ago and they still find it hard to talk about it.
I love talking about Joshua as it makes me feel like he's always with me, and especially when others talk about him because to me they are acknowledging him.
I also believe that my relatives and those of my partner Alan, are looking after Joshua and probably fighting amongs themselves for babysitting rights !!

I think my faith in God has really helped me with my loss, and I know he is in a really good place, although I would give anything for him to still be here.
Thanks again for your kind thoughts, and for your great support. It means so much to me.
Lots of love and hugs
Beata xx

[Miss.B]

Hey girls,

Is anyone feeling a little depressed with xmas coming up and seemingly endless numbers of prego women walking about out there at the moment ? Is it just me or is it my imagination ? I thought I was doing OK and the last coluple of days I've been on so down.....
Today they rang me from the memorial park to tell me Joshua's plaque is ready to be put down, and when would I like to bury his ashes ??? Gee, I thought I'd be OK doing this but now I don't know if I can part with his ashes...I tought it'd be nice to have his plaque down for xmas so I can put some decorations at his little plot for xmas, but now I find the whole thing quite depressing.


Hugs to all
Beata

[diannescruffy]

Hi Beata,
It really does help to talk to people who have been through a loss, we can only understand what each other are going through. I too like to talk about Emmanuel, I really believe it helps in the healing process. I'm really glad you have sought counselling, I hope it helps. I really believe God helped me and my family through our loss, I know he carried me through the times when I thought I couldn't cope. God was the one who gave me the strength to get through the loss of my son because without him I wouldn't be where I am today. I pray that you will be able to let go of your precious angels ashes and know that he is in heaven in the precious arms of Jesus.

Take care,
Dianne

[Miss.B]

Hi Dianne,
It's good to talk to someone who really understands. I'm so sorry for the loss of your two little angels I know they are watching over you always. If it wasn't for my faith in God, I would be so lost. I still think Joshua should be here instead of being in heaven, but he was taken away from me for what ever reason, and is now being taken care of by my relatives and that of my partner, and that is of great comfort.
I talk to Joshua a lot, and I always say to him that one day I'll get to know him when it's my turn to go, and I'll be able to give him a great big hug. I just love my little boy so much.
Look after yourself and your little one Dianne.
Lots of hugs
Beata. xx

[Tanya]

Is there anyone else out there in limbo land... not ttc, not pg... just waiting??
I feel like I don't belong anywhere... very lost I want to be pregnant again... but we need to wait. I don't think I will start to cycle for a while yet and I think it best to wait for results from amnio. I also want to get my folate levels up.

Anyway, not sure if I am talking to myself... but I need to talk....

[diannescruffy]

Tanya big to you hun. Limbo land is not a nice place to be in. I know the feeling of wanting to be pregnant again but hang in there. Thinking of you.

Regards,
Dianne