Oh DG I couldn't read your post and not reply..... Be strong when you can, have bad days and have days you completely fall apart, them breath and take anoter step forward - eventually we take more forward steps then backward ones my dear

Today I took a leap forward and held my friends precious little girl who is 2wks old .... She was born 2 days after our 'son' was born... Was very difficult at first but then she grabbed my finger and I just knew I would one day hold my own baby again...

My son may not be here, he is with his sister/brother looking down over DD but one day not sure when but one day I will have a live babe again...

DG I think what I mean is it's ok to have a bad day even a hundred becuase there will be one day where you do something and just know you will okay, it may not be that day, but you know that one day soon you will be okay again....

***sneaks back out again, but kinda still hangs around **