Printable View
Thankyou Hope for your kind words. Today is a better day thankfully. Yesterday I was a mess. I think you were very brave to hold that baby. Yes, you will hold your own baby again, when the time is right. I wish I were that positive about the future. Im glad you are still hanging around and I hope you are starting to heal. xx
DG: I'm not always that positive about the future lol ... today is a great example of me just wanting to WHOLE WORLD to go away and leave me alone lol - working with kids though probably didnt help with me either....
Glad you had a better day... :)
Starting to heal slowly, luckily I have a wonderful husband and DD
Hope: I have so many days just like that where I want the whole world to go away too. Im sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Healing is a long process. I dont think Ive recovered fully from any of my losses, not sure I ever will. Working with kids must be hard atm. :hug:
I've had a pretty bad week depression/anxiety wise, so I'm sorry I haven't been around. The concept of reading back through is kinda hurting my brain at the moment, so I'm gonna throw in a :grouphug: and start new from here. I think we can all use a :grouphug:
I've just caught up...
DG, I'm so sorry you had such a horrible day. Hope things are looking up. Take it one day at a time. We're all here for you.
HPL - hope you are doing ok too.
Keike - hope things start to improve for you :hug:
AFU... Sick. Again. So over it!
:grouphug::
Hi Everyone...
DG... how are you feeling now???
HPL...Glad to hear you are so well supported by your husband and little girl. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have to be in the world working when you are in such a personal process, and at times an isolating process.
OP... are you feeling better yet??? I hope the illness was swift and moved on.
Keike... hugs to you too!
AFM... I naturally miscarried yesterday. Very similar to how I birth. It was quite quick and intense (my longest birth has been two hours from first contraction to baby) I guess I am not sure what I was expecting, but it really felt like I was in labour and I just met it with the same focus I have met my other labours with. Afterwards I felt in my body like I had given birth, that same feeling in my uterus and my body, it really was a surreal experience, as I knew the feeling, but there was no baby, no midwives, just the feelings that came with it. So hard to articulate.
Today I have been pretty tired and tomorrow I am off to early pregnancy clinic at the hospital to check everything has passed and get an anti d shot. Tonight I felt a whole range of emotions toward my DH, so odd and I feel terrible that I am feeling so mixed up, I can't really grasp all the hormones and what is being asked of me, so hopefully tomorrow with the nurses I will experience some clarity.
I am blessed to work from home so I have cancelled my clients and am back in the cocoon, I was just starting to peer my head out but nope, now I am back in. The good thing is I can now say I have had a miscarriage but that no mans land of I am in the middle of one was tough, i still don't know how to bring it up?? do i just blurt it out?? hmmmmm I guess time will tell... I have just experienced how much people don't talk about this in real life why is that? anyway, off to try and sleep before the day at the hospital...
Go well everyone xx
hi everyone,
i just thought i would check in here and see how everyone is doing, the last few weeks have been difficult for many here im sure and i wanted to share a :grouphug: with you all
hi ladies,
Hope your Christmas and New Year was ok.....
Just thought I would come in and say hello again as sadly we miscarried on Box Day..... Just had my follow appt at hospital to check my blood work to make sure it is going down - fingers crossed it is.... bleeding has pretty much stopped (yay) ..
Thank you for your kind words in my other tread xoxo
DG - how are you hun? I just read you posts and I am glad you spoke to someone.... I totally get it, NYE we were in Canberra so the kids could see the fireworks, and I was a mess, reflecting on the year that was and being so hurt .... will it ever be the same again??? Even today seeing pregnant woman makes me cry and ache ...
DH wants to try again but honestly I don't know.... I feel spent to be truthful ....
Anyways hope life is being kind to you all....
Chepie - Im sorry you are hurting so badly. I found NYE to be pretty tough too, reflecting on the year that was...and what should/could have been and having that empty, hopeless feeling that comes from that. But I did feel a sense of release and calm on Jan 1. It feels like a fresh start, so that has helped me. Dont worry about TTC for now, just focus on picking yourself back up. I know how hard it is to do that again and again, but it will start getting better. Just take one day at a time.
Ladybird - how are you going now?
Minnie - Thanks for the hugs. I hope Christmas and the NY were ok for you too.
Big hugs to all of you here xx
Today is my due date for the baby I lost in July. Need I say more?:crying::crying:
Oh DG.
Many hugs. :hug:
Be kind to yourself. What do you have planned today?
DG thinking of you babe x
DG: :hug: for you, it is so hard we have to go through this (repeatedly too), just not fair
Thankyou girls. I didnt plan much for the day, just stayed at home and thought about what could have/ should have been. I said a little prayer to my Angel who I know is watching down on us and asked her to protect her big brothers who would have loved her so much. Tonight DH and I will open a bottle of champers and celebrate the short time I was pg, though I suspect there may be a few more tears.
Im looking forward to tomorrow being a better day.
Amen to that sister. :hug::
Oh DG babe .... love to you xox
Hi Girls, just joining in.....unfortunately - 3rd time for me in 10 months - I'm going in for a D&C on Monday after waiting a week for a natural miscarriage to occur, other than feeling pregnancy symptoms, nausea, extreme exhaustion, headaches etc there's been no sign of my little one leaving me. I can't believe it was so hard to get one to stick and now I can't get the little one to "unstick" so to speak. Dreading the D&C but what can you do, haven't been coping well at all this time around so need to move on. Starting to talk treatment for next time and part of me shudders at even the thought. Urgh.
Alison - hugs x
alison: so sorry, i have been there too :hug:
Huge hugs Alison :hug: I'm so sorry you are suffering through this again. I hope the D&C isn't too awful for you :comfort:
Im sorry for your losses. Ive been there too and it hurts so much. The day of the D&C is going to be hard and I'll be thinking of you.:hug:
Thank you girls, I appreciate the support, especially as you all understand, sadly as that means we've all been through it. I have been down south at our holiday house all weekend, had one emotional meltdown in front of family last night, so embarrassing, just started crying for no reason. Also been spotting since Friday, started off brown (sorry TMI) and now red but no pain and no constant flow yet....so what do I do, call the OB/hospital and cancel for tomorrow or go in anyway? I don't know what to do.....
:hug: Alison, I would definately still go tomorrow, if there is an increase in the bleeding tonight to very heavy you should go to an A&E ( hopefully not). They can always do an US tomorrow prior to surgery if any doubt.
Sorry you are having to go through this :hug:
Thanks Saffy, can you tell I'm tryin to put off the D&C, I hate going under anaesthetic and keep thinking it's better for my body to do this on it's own.......but I guess there's no point dragging it out. Just wasnt sure if they'd still do it if I was already bleeding that's all.
Hi Alison wishing you all the best for today hun xoxo I am so sorry that you are going through this again xoxo
Im sorry to be selfish guys, Ive been quietly reading and thinking of you all but Im FREAKING out.
Im pregnant.
Id decided I was done doing this. I just dont have it in me anymore to get attached and then have to give up. 5 losses is 5 too many and I am extremly lucky to have 3 happy boys to keep me busy. I secretly avoided ovulation and everything, then finally brought it up with DH who was happy to let it go for a few years before we made a permanent decision.
Ive been having random cramping even though AF is due tomorrow and I usually spot but havent been. Not to mention feeling nauseous and the haemhhroid from hell. I tested as a JIC and what do you know - positive.
I knew you guys would understand my position right now. Im refusing to tell anyone except my best friend, refusing to even believe it really. I am expecting AF to turn up tomorrow on schedule.
God what am I doing.
Freya hugs babe wishing you peace and sticky vibes xx
Oh hun :hug:
There must be a billion thoughts and emotions going through your head right now...
We are all here for you - one day at a time. One step at a time. You don't have to do anything right now - take some time to get used to the idea... Let yourself process everything that you are going through. :comfort:
Hi Girls - Well that is one day I do not ever want to repeat, I have only just got home after being admitted at 7am. Any dignity I had left after having Amelia I have now given away. I feel like I've had my insides ripped out of me...oh hang on I have! But other than that I'm fine ha ha....if you don't laugh you cry!
Hi Freya, hugs and try not to worry, what is meant to be will be, this may well be the one that sticks, when you least expect it. Sending you the stickiest of sticky vibes. I hope that makes sense, I'm still a bit dazed after my D&C.
Alison -:hug:. I bet today was hard. Im glad you are feeling ok. :hug:
Freya - Congratulations! If I were pg now Id be feeling exactly the same, wondering when it would end rather than expecting a baby at the end. You are right, 5 losses is 5 too many :hug:. Wishing you all the best.
Alison :hugs: still thinking of you.
Hi Ladies
Do you mind if I join you all? I think I fit here with you all.
Alison - GBH to you.
Porsche, I'd love for you not to need this group, but welcome :hug:
Found out on the weekend that another friend is pregnant, another surprise. That makes 2 in the last month. And I was at a wedding when she came up and told me, and I just.....froze. Said all the right things, and then missed the ceremony coz I was out the back crying. I understand that she wanted to tell me in person but...well, I guess I wish she hadn't told me at the wedding.
Oh well, just another kick in the guts.
Hi Porsche - I have been thinking of you lots, how are you going sweets? Yesterday you were on my mind alot, having just been through the same a couple of weeks back. Maybe March will be our month hey.....when are you allowed/hoping to start trying again? I have been told to have one normal cycle then start straight away. FS doesn't want me mucking around given my low egg count and age. Scared to even think about it again I have to admit. Not sure I have the guts to risk m/c number 4! Oh and I noticed your sig has a link to your FB page how cool I shall be having a good look. How did you do that, I would like to do the same for mine, I make removable wall stickers for nurseries/kids rooms.
Hi Keike - oh my goodness you poor thing! Does she know what you've been through? I really have noticed these past few weeks how little people understand, I expected all women to be knowledgeable on the whole loss thing but it's apparent that isn't true. All my playgroup friends haven't even hardly asked how I am, a couple have been wonderful but the rest have brushed it over like oh well, try again next time kind of attitude. I have been very disappointed. I've had the most support from my BB forum friends that I met when pregnant with my daughter, they just sent me a bunch of flowers and we all live all over Australia, amazing how some "cyber" friends can be your closest. I don't know your story I'm sorry but I hope we can all get our wish soon, goodness knows we bloomin deserve it!! xx
Yeah she knows, she actually kept it secret from her extended family for 4 months because she didn't want me to find out online, she wanted to say it to me herself. I know a few people who do that actually. I normally think it's very considerate of them, but I don't leave the house at the moment, so this was the only chance she had to tell me. I understand her motives, it was just bad timing.
Fair enough, that was nice of her but like you said timing was bad.......but then again when is it not? I have found the last few months in particular while going through all this fertility treatment hard every time a friend has a baby or tells me she's pregnant, I particularly get irked when it's a "woopsie" or "we weren't really trying that hard" situation....I'm always happy for someone who's having a baby but it still cuts the heart strings doesn't it. How many times have we all put on the "that's great news congratulations" face when inside you're just aching to scream NOT FAIR YOU SUCK!;)
Keike -:hug:.Im sorry you had to go through that. I totally get it. A friend told me she was pg yesterday (due the same day as my last angel) and I burst into tears as soon as I got in the car and started hyperventilating. I was so upset that she got to keep her baby while I have lost 4 of mine. Then I felt even worse for thinking that, and not being happy for her as I should have been.
Alison - How are you today? Still thinking of you. :hug:
Porsche - Welcome to our group. How are you going? :hug:
Hi beautiful ladies.....
Freya - hun like all the ladies have said we are all here for you.... just put one foot in front of the other and breathe xoxo Must so daunting xoxo but we are here for you.....
Alison - hope you are recovering ok .... :hug:
Keike - Oh babe that would have been so hard :grouphug:
DG - How are you going my love?
OP - How are you hun?
Porsche - Hi hun... Hope you are ok....
Went to see a counsellor yesterday which is start.... Very emotional day and top it if my husband is a jerk! We are so broken it's not funny.... all I want is a healthy little chubba bubba and I don't think realistically that's ever going to happen when DH are so far apart.... Sorry for the ramble I'm in such a horrible lonely place
xxx
Hi ladies
Chepie, thanks for thinking of me. I'm doing ok-ish. Having a flat period.
I get you - on feeling like you are far apart from your DH. I feel the same. Mine doesn't seem to notice, which makes it worse. Ah well.
K - massive hugs to you. That must have been .. I have no words. But you know what I mean, I hope :hug:
Porsche, welcome. Sorry you are joining us.
Freya - how are you? Thinking of you xx
Alison, hope you are doing ok.
DG - I understand the emotions you describe, I do. I think we all do.