Oh Hun I am sorry you are having a flat period..... we can be flat together xoxo
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Oh Hun I am sorry you are having a flat period..... we can be flat together xoxo
Hi Ladies
Thank you all so very much for the warm welcome.
Keike - Unfortuantely I do find myself here again but with wonderful warm ladies like yourself it eases the pain just a little. I'm so sorry you heard that pregnancy announcement ata wedding. While I understand she was trying to be sensitive to yiur needs could she not have waited untill the reception and at the end of it when you could have just left? :hugs: to you because it is really tough and sucky to hear news like that.
Alison - Is it weired that I've been thinking about you too? I hope yur recovering well. Well I have to sit out a cycle any way because of our 6 week check up but we should be OK to go after that. I don't want to wait longer than neccessary IYKWIM? I'm going to wait for AF and then go on BCP untill we can book our stim cycle. But won't know any more until 2nd March at our 6 week check up. SO If AF comes by the end of this month then *maybe* we can cycle in March but I think realistically it'll be April/May. I didn't think I'd have the guts for aother MC either. You never think it will happen to you hey. That always happens to other people. No one in my family knows about my MC's except for MIL, FIL & my Mum. My sister, BIL & SIL know about the first one but not the second one as we kept our FET quiet. And when we stim again I won't be telling any one.
I'm hearing all about a family member's pregnancy ATM from DH's Grandma & Aunts. His family is very close. It cuts to the core and I can't very well tell them all to shut the hell up lol As much as I'd like too. I'm just trying to avoid them all and unfortuately that means avoiding all family functions.
With my FB page you'll need to become a market place member. Just PM a mod and get the details.
Diamond Girl & Chepie I'm doing OK. I'm still bitter and angry but not as much as last week.
Diamond Girl - :hugs: to you. It's not fair that others get to keep their bubs and you don't. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I don't think we need any more character building.
Chepie - I'm glad the councelling has helped. It is very lonley in that horrible place. I'm in it ATM and I can sympathise with you. I'm slowly clawing my way out but it's not essy. Especialy when you have no one to talk to about it all. People can sympathise all they like but until they have been in your shoes they will never get it.
Im struggling OP, big time. So far no bleeding, just the usual stretching cramps/aches but I am so far beyond optimistic its not funny. I just want it to be over, either way :( Playing phone tag with my OB to try and get a script for clexane so I can grasp some hope from taking that.
Ugh.
Porsche - I think I'll probably be more like April too to be honest, by the time AF comes again which could take 6 weeks it will be March already and then I have to wait the 2 weeks to O and do the treatment yada yada, so likely April for me too. I won't be telling too many people next time either, just going to let my family know as soon as I get a BFP, I kept it quiet from them and told my close friends/playgroup friends which I should've done the other way around as my family were the ones i needed when it failed, my friends barring a few haven't been very supportive since so I've learnt my lesson there.
Chepie/Ocean Princess - I'm sorry you're having flat days, just when you think you have yourself under control something snaps you back to the dark place doesn't it, I'm only just beginning the healing process and I'm still in the zone where I'm glad it's over, but I think the reality that I'm no longer officially pregnant is just starting to hit me now. I don't think my DH really understands, he's not very good at showing emotions at the best/worst of times so he's really not said anything, makes you feel like you're alone doesn't it. Men, grrrr.
Freya - what is that drug you mentioned for? Is it a form of progesterone? It sucks that normally you should be able to just worry about feeling sick and not having to think that every twinge or feeling is destruction about to happen. Miscarriages ruin all that and it sucks so bad. I am praying that all will be ok for you and this is your time now.
Hi everyone else, how are we all coping today? I think we should all make a pact, get pregnant at the same time and start up our own special thread, how nice would that be!
I have a weird question, I hope you don't all think I'm strange, but does anyone know when you have a D&C and they send it away for testing (like mine has been), are they able to tell the sex of the embryo/fetus when they do the chromosome testing etc? I know it has a sex by that stage so surely they can....I feel sad that i don't even know whether my little one was a girl or boy, how can you grieve properly without knowing. It had a heart beat, it was a human being,my baby, why can't we know?
Alison - umm I'm sure....... I undertand what you mean about not knowing, though I think my last m/c was a boy.... I have managed to guess all my genders so far!! So I am sticking with that. I hope you get some answers.... And yes lets all do it together!!
**TMI*** Last Wed I got my first period after my m/c.. it is really weird very light then heavy then light then heavy .... blackish blood and bright red, little tiny clots that kind of look gritty... and so while today is day 7 it's really heavy??? Sorry to be graphic but I have never had a period like this!!! :dunno:
Hi Ladies
Alison - I do believe they can tell you what the sex was. I've never asked and I'm better off not knowing. For my own mental health.
Chepie - My last D&C I had AF like that. Was truly awful.
Alison - I have a clotting disorder that may or may not have been the cause behind my miscarriages and a host of pregnancies issues with Ds1 & 2 so I have to do daily shots of clexane pretty much from now until 36wks to increase the chances of a healthy pregnancy. Its a blood thinner. My miscarriages risk currently sits at 1 in 2; taking the clexane would take it back to 'normal' ranges of 1 in 6.
Huge hugs Freya. How awful for you. I wish I could say something to help...
:comfort:
Hi ladies
I havent been in here for a while because although you are a lovely bunch of ladies but sometimes its too real here itms but other times its a great support network.
Ive started seeing a therapist and after events on my birthday my medication has increased.
Im so embarrassed about this on my birthday i was telling dh i was going to kill myself one day so i can see Anthony. I didnt really mean it but the idea at the time, the longing to be near him was scary.
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Porsche - I get that, I feel compelled to know, I have a feeling mine was a boy, just a strong feeling, I think I'm destined for 2 girls in the end. Just another feeling.
Freya - aaah right, how scary to have that but at least there's something you can take. I was on aspirin this pregnancy but the FS said she's putting me on something else along those lines next time, my main issue is practically no progesterone on the 2nd half of my cycle when it's needed most but they're throwing a host of things at me next time, fun fun, not.
Hi Mrs S - we havent met but I'm sorry to hear of your story, it's so sad and I cannot imagine how it must feel to lose a bub at that stage. I am struggling with 8 weeks for goodness sake. I hope your therapy can bring you some peace.
Chepie - after my 2 chemical miscarriages I got AF 30 and 28 days after, they were pretty heavy for the first couple of days but otherwise normal. Not sure what to expect this time and how long does it take, is it really about 6 weeks?
AFM - after my D&C on Monday I have hardly any bleeding at all, it's practically spotting, is this normal? I expected bleeding like a period - the sheet they gave me said it can take 7 days. Not that I'm complaining as I'll be happy if it means she got it all out but I was just wondering if this was the norm?
Hi Ladies
Alison - I too feel my 2 lost ones were boys. I just have this gut feeling. I had spotting and light bleeding for the first 4-5 days and then nothing for 1 day and then back spotting and light bleeding for another 7 or so days. My previous D&C I had clotts and heavy bleeding and then spotting for almost a month. I think whatever your body is doing is 'normal'.
MrsS - :hug: I'm sure your meltdown was a sign that you needed help. I'm glad the councellor is helping and I'm sure in time your medication will be decreased. It's a long slow process but I know you'll get there.
Hello my beautifuls! Sorry I've been MIA, but I am still lurking. A big group hug to everyone :grouphug:
And an extra hug for the gorgeous freya :hug: sending you every ounce of sticky vibes I can muster up, Hun. I'm excited to hear your hubby is finally home :)
Diamond - hope you're going well beautiful. I often think if you. I thought of you as my due date came around especially. xx
Alison - love you babe xx
Not much happening here, same old, same old
Alison - I forgot to mention, I bled lightly for just over 2 weeks after my d&c.. Everyone is different. Just remember to take care of yourself, go gentle. And don't feel embarrassed if you need to cry. You lost your baby - don't be so hard on yourself. :hug:
Telly - Glad to hear from you. I think of you often too.:hug:
Alison - My experience has been quite different with each D&C, with the first two I bled like a period, had some pretty big clots and lots of pain for the next few days. With the last one I had next to no bleeding for the first week (no need for a pad for days 2-5 after D&C), then it started up like a period the next week (which I thought was strange) and lasted 2 weeks. I ended up with a 7 week cycle.
Mrs S - You poor thing. Its so cruel to lose a baby, especially so late. I wish he were here with you. I guess it shows you never, ever get over it, do you.:hug:
Freya - Still wishing you all the sticky vibes in the world. Good luck with the clexane.:hug:
Chepie & OP - Im pretty flat too. AF has just arrived :rolleyes:
Porsche - I found out one of mine was a girl and the others Im not sure, but I think it was a mix of boys and girls.
AFM - we are back on the TTC rollercoaster starting this month. All I want is a sticky bubba this time! Please, please, pretty please!!!
No you dont DG good luck TTC
Do any of you collect special things for your angels?
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Thanks DG - I didn't have hardly any bleeding either but today there's a little bit again so it's obviously just up and down.
First day back at playgroup today after the school holidays, really struggled, 3 of the girls are pregnant, due within the next few months - I found myself not being able to look at them, I hate being like this.
Alison - I found that too. I am ok, now, with people who are pregnant and due far far from when I would have been. The one I still struggle with is when they are due when I would have been. :hug: Go gently.
DG - all the very best hun. I really pray this one will be a sticky one for you. :crossfingers:
MrsS - really hope this is a turning point for you hun. Please don't be embarrassed - no judgement here. :comfort:
Alison its very normal to feel that way, people with prams, baby sections of shops everything used to get me and id breakdown. I am better now but there are still many times ill breakdown over something that reminds me of anthony, i usrd to be really jealous of people with baby boys
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Hi Ladies
Just checking in to see how you all are.
Alison - How are you?
Diamond Girl - FX for a super sticky. It's bitter sweet to be trying again.
MrsS - How are you feeling today?
Hi to everyone else OceanPrincess, Tellytubby, Freya, Chepie & anyone else I haven't mentioned.
Hi gorgeous ladies....
How are we all going?
Porsche thanks for thinking of us all xoxox Hope you are ok...
DG- we are cautiously on TTC wagon again......... We can be terrified together xoxo
Freya- how are you babe, we are all here holding your hand xoxo
MG- hope you are ok xxx
Is anyone else trying this month? Sorry I'm not meaning to be insensitive by asking just though we could hold hands together xoxo
Porshe thanks for thinking of me. Im off to Melbourne today hoping for a distraction.
Chepie - (i hope im spelling names right i hate not seeing the posts on my phone when you are replying)
We arent trying ... Although scary i would like to but not for a while
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Chepie - We are trying this month but not trying. What I mean is I have EWCM ATM so I'm in my fertile stage but DH doesn't know that lol. We'll just DTD and then I'll wait and see. Maybe I'll test maybe I won't :shrug:. I'm just temping and noting EWCM etc in FF so I know when AF is due not really because I expect a BFP.
We have fragmentation issues which is partly why we did IVF. I'm really just waiting for AF to arrive so I can start back on birth control and then we can start another full stim cycle.
Hi ladies hope everyone is going okay :grouphug:
Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh!
I just needed to get that out. I thought I was ok with it but maybe not. And so the double life begins again. The lif where you're living one reality and dreaming another. I should have been X weeks pg now, I should be doing X right now. Can't believe I am back here. Honestly from day to day I don't know how I feel. I can't acknowledge a feeling if I can't articulate it properly. I guess numb would be the right word.
This fracking sucks. I thought it couldn't happen to me. Then it did. Then I thought I was safe again, and so it happens again. Ah life, always there to kick you in the guts when you least expect it.
Oh forshelby! What the????
:( :( :( :(
Hi Girls....
Porsche - good luck secretly TTC'ing, I hope this is the month for you sweets.
Forshelby - big hugs, I am feeling the same, just when I think I'm ok something reminds me, I am surrounded by pregnant people at the moment, it's making my healing process very very difficult.
Chepie - how are you going?
AFM - I'm day 10 since my D&C and only just noticing that the bleeding may finally be stopping, it's never been much, but constant - just want it to end as it's a constant reminder of what happened last week! I've been up and down, but oddly just yesterday I had the strongest urge to get pregnant again, don't know if it's my subconcious trying to block out the pain but I really want it so bad, yet I'm too scared. I don't think I could cope with a 4th loss. Seeing the FS on Monday but I have to have a natural cycle before they'll start my next lot of treatment, goodness knows how long that will take. Is it possible to go straight back to a 28 ish day cycle after a D&C? I usually ovulate on Day 12 and don't know if it's my imagination but I swear I'm feeling the usual O twinges I get around that time....not EWCM though but bit hard when I'm still bleeding. Poor DH must be champing at the bit, he hasn't had any for a while but it's just bad luck buddy. Quite honestly it's the last thing I feel like at the moment. Also had a run in with one of my playgroup friends, she's very outspoken anyway but she's pregnant with number 2. First go.......due in April. Anyway I was telling them about a story a friend was telling me about, about this girl who has 5 kids already and got pregnant by accident with number 6 and can't even handle the ones she's got. So I was saying, not in a mean way but how I find that so frustrating hearing those stories when some of us are struggling so much etc etc and she let me have it! She said just because things aren't going my way doesn't mean I shouldn't make other people feel bad and she for one feels she can't be happy and excited about her pregnancy around me in case she offends or upsets me and so she's feeling really down in the dumps and bla bla bla.............WTF!!!!! I have NEVER made any of the 3 girls at pg feel uncomfortable about discussing their pregnancies around me, even though for the last 6 months and particularly last few weeks it's been particularly difficult. I was so upset, she had me in tears.........of course everyone else tried to downplay her comments as they must've felt bad for me but I am so annoyed I'm not going this week. I can't handle that attitude, how self centred and rude....and this is coming from someone who's had a miscarriage herself. Do people just forget what it's like or am I people over sensitive?!!! Grrrrr Rant over, thanks for listening. xx
Just dropping in. Porche, Alison & Chepie....Thinking of all you xx Hope you are doing ok.
Alison i'm sorry that some women are just nasty. I think some people don't care and some just prolly block out the heartache. I hope that she is nicer to you again. Don't feel like you aren't allowed to be upset because you totally are.
Wishing you all the best in the coming months and that you have PA's soon.
Hi Ladies
Forshelby - :hug:. I feel the same. You never think it will happen to you and then bam. You get through that and maybe had a baby and then bam another one. Very curel and it sucks.
Alison - :hug: to you. That is one reason why I don't join mothers groups, playgroups etc... Too much *****iness and competiveness. I can't handle it. And quite frankly can't be bothered with it. No one truly knows what you've been though until they walk in your shoes. She clearly has been bottling this up . If she had a problem then she should have spoken to you privately and with compasion. She sounds very insensitve. I'm getting your not 'best friends' with this woman? What is her problem?
In saying all that though maybe she has some concerns of her own? Maybe she has had a scare or something? I don't know. Just trying to look at boh sides of the fence.
I don't think your being over sensitive you are still grieving. I'd have been the same way. Except I probly would have told her a few choice words.
Kirley - Hi. Thanks for checking on us. I'm doing better. Hoping AF arrives in 14 days to get back on the IVF rollercoater. I hope things are well with you.
Hi Porsche - I've known this girl since Amelia was born, so just over 2 years, she's had a miscarriage herself but she's very strong minded and opinionated, not the sort who is what I call maternal, put it this way, she fell pregnant first try this time around and the first thing she was doing was complaining because she didn't expect it to happen straight away and misses out by a month on claiming the Govt paid maternity leave scheme......my heart bleeds for you, not! ha ha...I told her I was upset with her comments and I don't feel they were justified as I've never made any of them feel uncomfortable, in fact, I've felt they have carried on as usual without even acknowledging my situation most of the time. It's all fine, it will go on like nothing happened as she's the type to say what she thinks and think nothing of it. Needless to say I'm skipping it this week and meeting another friend who's going through fertility as well, best being around her at the moment ha ha. Will this be your first AF then yes? How long has it been as I am hoping to get mine after 4 weeks, I swear I'm ovulating any day as usual, hope it's not my imagination.
Alison - Yes this will be my first AF after the D&C. In total if she arrives on the 28th will be a 40 day cycle. But I'm not too hopeful she'll arrive by then. Praying like no tomorrow though.
Hi Girls how are we all?
I am Day 11 today since the D&C and the bleeding is almost gone now, just a bit of brown spotting. I usually ovulate around Day 12 and I swear I'm having ovulation pain today, but I did an HPT out of interest to see if the HCG has gone and it's still positive, not dark but not super faint either. Is it possible to still ovulate if you have a little HCG in your system? I know the tests are sensitive but everything I read says that your cycles won't go back to normal until all the HCG is out of your system, so wondering what this ovulation pain is......
Hi Ladies
Alison - I was told you won't O untill you levels are back to base line so 0. I have O type pains ATM but I don't think they are. I can't describe or even guess as to what theyr are. Very frusterating.
Bummer.....but I figured as much, thanks Porsche. Have you had your levels checked then? They aren't going to do mine, I just did a HPT out of interest, I have no idea what my HCG levels were when I had the D&C, they were at 20,000 when I had the scan, but bub didn't pass until another week and a half after that so not sure if my levels continued to rise until the D&C as they never checked them again. You're right though, it's very very frustrating isn't it. After my chemicals AF came 28 and 30 days later but being early on I guess you wouldn't expect it to upset the apple cart so much.
Hi Ladies
Alison - No they aren't checking my levels again. They didn't last time either lol. I haven't POAS either to see if my levels are back. I guess I'm too scared to do one incase there is a BFP and then I'll start to panic about why my levels aren't falling. Never ending worry lol. My leves were around the 6000 mark when I had my 3rd blood test at 6 weeks 1 day and they hadn't doubled so I think my levels were falling back then. I just have to be patient and sit it out and see what happens lol. What other choice do I have?
It happened again. I had a massive bleed yesterday and ended up in hospital on a drip. U/s confirmed the baby is gone. I just dont know where to go from here :(
Oh Freya. I'm so sorry :comfort:
Freya :cry: :hug:
Freya i am so sorry
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Freya, I am very very sorry for your loss:hug:
Oh freya I am so so sorry my heart just sank for you. I was just thinking no no no when I read your post. :(