Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #3

Oh Smamfa - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you... And if we all do, I bet you'll be pregnant before you know it ;)

Alison - we not only have our Birthdays the same week, but we share one actually :) It was my Birthday on Tuesday too! I hope you got very spoiled, like me.

We've already told my partner's family, as they live close by and some where part of what was happening it was not too hard. My family is overseas, so it's a bit harder. I told my sister in law on my Birthday, and she gave birth just this morning to their fourth child... I'm happy for them. Don't know when and if I'll tell the rest of the family. I'm considering telling my parents as my mother had a m/c at some stage, but I yet have to find the right time. (They were away on holidays on the day I found out and are not back yet..)

Thanks for the B'day wishes. I hope everyone will take care and relax on the weekend, so soon we'll be ready to take on the world again!

Oh wow how awesome is that, 12th for us both Happy Birthday for Tuesday, I got spoilt too yay for us. I realised the day after it was the 12.6.12 hee hee

Happy Birthday me4eva and Alison!!!

Alison- thankyou for your detailed reply. I think I will get my progesterone checked. The first mc was at 8 weeks and the last at 13 I have three daughters so I am not sure why all the sudden I can't stay pregnant? But I think I will go see the Dr again before trying now that you have me thinking more.
Your lab results were very detailed, sorry about your little girl. I have no idea what I was expecting, I wonder if knowing the sex changes how you feel??? We had a little ceremony and named the baby "joy' not knowing if it was boy or girl I am always wondering about that. Especially as we have three girls already there is a bit of pressure on us to produce a son..... but now a healthy baby boy or girl would be awesome, not caring about the sex.

me4eva- its incredible how quick the weeks after mc fly away yet the weeks before it seems like they are so slow... I felt like I dragged my way to 13 weeks pregnant and feels like next minute already another 13 weeks have flown by.


Smamfa- I am 35 in July, is that old?? I have no idea!! I still find it very interesting to all the sudden lose two pregnancies after three breezy easy ones. First MC I was ok well 1 in 4 ok I can do this, but to get to 13 weeks and go again has been huge. I am nervous about trying again. I was thinking that next time I might not even say it out loud until I have an early US. I normally don't really need US or anything to reassure me, but life experience has changed this so much for me.

OK, well it's weekend time and with my girls it is a nice balance of busy and restful... so I hope you all have a wonderful weekend whatever it is you are doing xx

Hi Ladybirdflies - thanks for the birthday wishes :) I'm living proof that having a previous child is no indication of your current fertility abilities! I fell pregnant very easily with no problems with my daughter, my FS told me it is very common to have no problems and then suddenly do so. In 2.5 years my hormones have gone haywire - well at least the progesterone has, they show up as fine during the first half of my cycle and the GP's weren't picking it up, I'm not sure how they tell until you do a tracking cycle with an FS but a good indication of low progesterone aside from recurrent miscarriages is shorter cycles and spotting before cycles, do you have either of those problems? My cycles went from 28 days to 22/23 sometimes 21 days right as I was about to start TTC'ing with this one, just like that! Definitely look into it, I'm still here 13 months later, we only just got the progesterone under control at the end of last year and even still trying to get the right mix, I am really thinking that this most recent one if not chromosomal was probably still my progesterone as it was still fluctuating - it's just a matter of finding the right mix for you. 35 is not old to me (I've just turned 39) but in the pregnancy world 35 is considered geriatric ha ha, charming huh. But seriously they say from 35 is when things can change and for some it may not, others it might be dramatic, I was technically 35 when I fell pregnant with Amelia, 36 when I had her, since then who knows what my darn eggs have decided to do!!!!!!!!! Good luck and keep us posted.

Have a great weekend everyone xx

Alison - Ha - I hadn't even thought of that... Our next cool birthday will be 12-6-21 :) But that's still a while a way...

Argh, just had the biggest scare - I passed the biggest blood clot ever (sorry if tmi). Then some smaller ones after that. It's just light flow now. Don't know if I should call the dr or not? (on after D&C care pamphlet it said to contact emergency, so I might do that..) Hmm I'll see whatever happens over night..

me4ever, I would ring the maternity ward not emergency and certainly call tonight, even though the flow is normal a clot is blood pooling inside. Are you having any pains at all? It could be that the flow increased and you were laying down so it pooled in your vagina before coming out?

I really think its best to call, I had something (before d & C) left in the uterus and ended up losing 2lts of blood and had to be resuscitated so please ring and ask the question it really won't hurt, but waiting to see what happens may change the outcome. Especially if you have any pain or fever symptoms!

Go Well x

Thanks Ladybirdflies - I don't have any fever or severe pain - had just lower back pain, but not anymore as I had 2 panadol rapid an hour ago. Just called up and they're not too worried as I don't have fever or pain. So she said to come in if it got worse or if I got fever with it...
Thanks for responding so quick!

Glad you called, I hope you get a good rest tonight. It would be unusual to have retained product (sorry I really don't know a better way to say it) after a d&c. Keep a good eye on yourself and remember to drink heaps too. You can drink raspberry leaf tea to help the healing process.

Take Care xx

Happy belated birthday Alison :)

me4ever, wow that's a bit scary! Glad you're keeping an eye on it and rang the hossy. Hope that's the end of it now. Big hugs x

Thanks girls!

oh gosh I'm glad you rang and checked too, I've never passed any clots after either of my D&C's, like the other girls have said, keep an eye on it xx I hate to think how old I'll be in 2021, yikes! lol

Oooh I just realised my bestie's birthday is on 12 June (second best birth date to 9 May, that be my birthday of course ;)) , no wonder we get on like a house on fire ladies! lol

hee hee my bestie is the 12th may, Taureans and Gemini's, I think we make a good mix.

Hi,
May I join you ladies?
I find myself in here, after today being told at 7w5d that we have another blighted ovum. It's 2 in a row. Went for a dating scan today, and the Dr rang within an hour to tell me the devastating news.
Oh why is life do cruel and unfair?
Sorry for the downer post, but hopefully you ladies get me...
Xxx

:

---

Hi,
May I join you ladies?
I find myself in here, after today being told at 7w5d that we have another blighted ovum. It's 2 in a row. Went for a dating scan today, and the Dr rang within an hour to tell me the devastating news.
Oh why is life do cruel and unfair?
Sorry for the downer post, but hopefully you ladies get me...
Xxx

---

*Just sneaking in gently*
I just saw your post M, I can't believe it! It's so bloody crazy and unfair that this happens once let alone repeatedly to the same people :cry: I suffered a loss in 2009 & it still makes my heart ache so I just wanted to send you some love & tell you that I'm sorry that this happened to you again :comfort::hug: I hope to see you back in the TTC threads when the time is right for you xx

Hi MLR1901 - I'm so sorry for your loss, many of us in here have had repeated miscarriages so we are the right place to come to for support and hopefully comfort. Big hugs to you while you start your healing. Life sux for a lot of us lately, I personally feel very jinxed and if I hear one more person say I've just been unlucky I might punch them. xxxx

Thanks maybebaby it means a lot right now as not many IRL understand.
Alison - if I hear from another Dr to relax, not worry or from others who say don't worry it will happen maybe you should relax! I may make headlines.
I was soo sure this time albeit bad timing, but I was jumping for joy inside.
No bleeding, or spotting no others symptoms to tell me isn't not alright.
And even looking at DH, he's a quite one but I know he's hurting and that kills me. ; (
And to top it off today the m/s is not helping..
Or the fact I can't fit into my favorite snuggly worn in jeans : (

MLR - I'm so sorry to hear your news :( I'm sending you big hugs and am thinking of you. It's great to have the girls in this thread to share things with, as indeed not many people understand what we go through.

Have any of you been to an Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic?
As soon as we saw our GP in Saturday, he rang the EPAC which is very new to our hospital (mercy werribee) He told them our brief history, and they had booked us ASAP which is today at 9am. I was told to bring any related history and current, as they were pretty concerned about 2 blighted ovums in 6 mths. GP said its like 1% of females have that in Australia.

Just wondering what to expect. There is no info yet on the hospital web site.

P. s thank you all very much for your thoughts, it's an amazing little community we have here. I certainly don't have people like you all IRL. Or ones that can only try to understand.
Xxxx

hi to everyone, just a quick message to MLR. Can you clear your inbox I have tried to send you a private message but can't get through.... Will be back later to say proper hello's!

Mmm it only 3 messages, but deleted them now.

I sent it... it's usually the sent messages that block it up. Delete them and then you can keep the other messages if you like.

Hi ladies, I dont post here much anymore but I just wanted to say that Im so very sorry to all of you in here, especially those going through the awful pain of recurrent m/c. I know how you are feeling and just how deep those lows are once the initial shock wears off. I was absolutely and completely devestated after each and every m/c but I found this to be a truly safe place to cry and vent.

Im thinking of you all xx.

Hi girls thought I would update you's.
Im off to the docs tomorrow morning I've starting bleeding again (not spotting full flow) still +I've tests and still nausea hanging about, but besides that no pain or fevers so got no clue what's going on but demanding a proper u/s and bloods to be taken.

Another thing is we noticed ds3 has two uvulas (the dangly thing at the back of your throat) and it usually occurs to people with cleft palate/lip (which he doesn't have) also a syndrome or something linked to having two uvulas (which he didn't have complication with his surgery for hypospadias when under ga) but its can happen with people and they are healthy just has two instead of one (which is what I think ds3 has just two instead of one)
But has us worried for future pregnancies and also thinking about the mc's too was their something abnormal or was everything normal? Will speak to doc about this tomorrow too.
I am just stunned no doc has mention ds3's uvula or noticed it (seeing he had tube put down throat for surgery?) mummy instinct tells me he is fine he is such a lucky boy and one of the most happiest little man I have ever met.
Wish I could get a break of bad luck/news under so much stress and worry.

Anyway I hope you all are going along ok. Big hugs to all xxx

Hello everyone, I haven't been getting notifications so I'm a bit behind - will go read back after I post this.

Ashie - how did you go at the docs, what did they say about the returned bleeding?

Not much happening here, it's been 4 weeks since my last D&C and still no AF......last one I had earlier in the year my cycles went straight back to normal - which for me is every 3 weeks, ho hum what can you do. We aren't intending on trying again anyway until I see the new clinic next month. I can't remember if I told you I got my D&C results and their were no abnormal chromosomes this time. So one can only assume the blood clot I had had something to do with it then, I will be asking at my appointment with the specialist next month for sure. I am thinking this might hinder our chances for IVF given I get pregnant relatively easy.....the specialist will need to practically guarantee I won't miscarry again if I try naturally one more time!!!!!!! Not going through this crap again, 4 times is enough thanks!

I hope everyone is healing well xx

Hi girls got my bloods back their sitting at 17! (such a horrible situation happy numbers are almost normal but missing not having our little button) but no idea on bleeding go back Monday for more bloods and for ds3 referral for a pead to have a look in his mouth.
Got a feeling the bleeding may be still cause hcg is above 5 but likely my bleeding problem too which has me so frustrated (took me a yr after ds3 was born to get it down to half a month!)
He said I was stupid for worrying over next babies having a problem (umm 2 mc's and ds3's problem I think I have a right to be concerned!) they cannot tell me why it's taken 4 weeks for hcg levels to go down which still it's not normal level yet, nor can they tell why I had another. He also said anti d shots only last 6 weeks? Last mc they didn't tell me that and I bled the same as now all over the place and for a long time, he didn't say if I need another one or not though?
Also is it normal not to clot? Actually I have the most tiniest ones (barely noticeable) maybe it would explain flows one minute not her next minute it's everywhere?

Alison- I am so sorry af is a no show, it really does bother you though as you just want thing back to routine. I highly sympathize with your situation I miss my regular cycles (my is due next week but still bleeding from mc!)
May I ask more about testing you had? I never knew they cause test to find cause of a mc? My 1st one I had an u/s the same day as my mc started my uterus looked like it was sparkling like glitter? They never told me if their were hematomas or anything with ds2 and 3 I had blood pockets next to them and bled at 8 weeks with both. This mc I was fine then we were getting ready to head out and I felt a small pop and went to the toilet and was bleeding! And both times only took a matter of hours for it all to happen. No warning just happens so quickly.

Hi Ashie - gosh still HCG in your system, I haven't had mine checked but I don't have any symptoms lingering. With my mc testing, I didn't miscarry naturally with these last 2 so I was able to have a D&C therefore testing. Because I was on progesterone support and only came off it once things went pear shaped it can take time for your body to start the process. Rather than wait and go through it I opted to have the D&C's asap - within days of my last scans. Also, because this is technically my 4th, although my first 2 miscarriages were very early (around 4 weeks) and prior to discovering I had a progesterone issue, plus my age as I've just turned 39 they ran the tests without me having to even push. When you say you had blood pockets I'd say they were the same as what I had, subchorionic hematomas, basically blood clots. A lot of people get them, problem with mine was it very large - the same size as the sac so it's probably why I had a miscarriage I believe. I know a few people who had them and went on to have normal healthy pregnancies/babies. It's a shame you weren't able to have the tissue tested from your miscarriages, they generally don't start doing testing until you've had 3 miscarriages, particularly at your age which I don't agree with but I am pretty sure you can demand it. This 2nd time they gave me a specimen jar (pee jar) and said if by chance I started bleeding and/or losing tissue before my procedure days later to collect what i could tissue wise, put it in the jar, keep it in the fridge and get it to the nearest pathology and they'll send it for testing. My GP gave it to me and even wrote up the paperwork so if I dropped it off they'd know what to do with it. Very strange and thank goodness I didn't have to use it. Does this answer your questions? Ask away as I'm more than happy to answer anything you are concerned about or want to know. xx

Alison and Ashie,
I'm sorry you are both in limbo. I hate limbo.
It sucks. It's interesting that both of you have suffered, more than once and the Dr's still make us endure one more until they actually have to do something about it! It frustrates me to no end.
On Monday I had my 2nd d&c in 6 months. Both blighted ovums. This time I didn't have any bleeding, and last one not much in comparison.
BUT when I got to the appointment for EPAC they already had me booked in. I insisted to speak to an OB. Lucky she was great, she actually listened, and has booked me into see her again in 6 weeks, gave my GP a list of things to bring with me. I simply told her something is not right, I will not allow myself to go through another pregnancy with the chances of it happening again. She agreed that at my age, 32, that 2 BO's in a row isn't normal. And she was honest enough to say its high chance of happening again. She did explain sometimes they aren't able to test, as it may not come away cleanly and if incomplete may not be enough sample to check. But insist in other tests.
So speak up, until someone listens. It's on their heads to some degree, so make sure you are clear to say your feelings.
Here's to better times ahead for us ladies! Xx

Hi MLR1901 (I hope I got that right lol) - I'm so sorry for you, 2 blighted ovums is just weird isn't it, I hope it's just a fluke I really do and I'm so glad you insisted on getting some testing done. This is why I'm changing clinics, my previous FS saw me once in early November and once in early Jan - I had 2 mc's in between and yet he couldn't fit me in for a follow up for 2 months and just told the nurses to tell me to keep going as we were - aaah get stuffed, I am NOT doing that again until someone sits down and talks to me first!!!! They are so blaze, I think they just forget we are actually humans with feelings and not just objects they figure they can fix with implanting some fertilized eggs into and fixing the whole problem. Like I said to my OB, getting pregnant for me isnt the hard part which is the part they can help with the most, I need something to keep me pregnant darn it!!! Hugs to us all, I think we should all get pregnant again together and maybe we'll all give each other luck!

Alison, maybe you and I should have a baby together. I can get pregnant as such, nothing develops but those bubbles stay in!!
So between you and me, we could be onto a winner ; )
It's very frustrating, when anyone Dr or not doesn't listen. Hearing is one thing. I think it's because some OB's FS's GP's and Gyno's are scared to say they don't know. I'd much rather that than, some B S spiel they learnt in med school about how its natures way blah blah. FX'd we don't need to go through another, and we are able to get some answers.
Xxx

Hi MLR I'm sorry to hear about your little bubble. xx Glad you are sticking up for yourself and getting people to give you answers or at least their opinions.

Thanks for your thoughts DG I hope everything is going really well with you!

Ashie - I hope your hcg will have dropped even more by Monday, I'm glad they are keeping an eye on it at last.

Alison - I thought about the testing question when I was having my mc, but everything was just coming out so fast that I couldn't tell and didn't see anything - which I was glad about and sad about at the same time. I have got a referral to a recurrant mc specialist - maybe you need someone like that? They might have more to offer than the usual fs?

Well we were trying again this month but it is not exactly going as planned. For one thing I still have mild spotting - only a bit mixed in with ewcm I believe. For the next thing we ALL got sick AGAIN - this whole household has been sick off and on for a month. Dh is still under the weather but we did manage a bit of bding - just not our usual comprehensive effort. I haven't ovulated yet anyway, it is delayed this month (which I guess also makes sense.) I just don't know whether to try and gun it now or if the light spotting and fact that we are all run down is telling me to wait. But I don't want to wait I am too old to wait ARRRGH! Ok, sorry 'bout that! I would just like to feel like myself again, physically. and mentally. I was doing so well at being reasonably chilled this time around ttc (instead of turning into a stresshead like usual), now my equilibrium has been completely shaken up and it makes me feel panicky. Boo.

Smamfa- *hugs* I was never good at the whole ttc too (except we concieved button when we were not ttc of all things!) and a big boo for being unwell the last thing you must feel like doing. We are having the flu past through here and gosh dtd is the last thing on my mind.


MLR1901- so glad your standing your ground!
I really hope you get some answers abd that your seeing a dr who is listening and understanding you concerns. My ob I usually see is fantastic so I think I'll be booking in an appt (will be like a months wait though!) so he knows what's up and has always looked after me and my sisters very well.

Alison- thankyou for all this info! This ob I haven't been seeing is utterly useless!!
I'll be going back to my normal guy but being he is good it will be at least a months wait. I was never told anything like this just oh you may be miscarrying but go home and only come back if soaking pads or extreme pain. Even the bleeding now I swear they must have ear plugs in!!!
I did have hematomas with ds2 and 3, with ds3 I had same sonographer and he noticed it at 6 weeks (didn't mention it) then at 8 weeks I had a bleed (went in a couple of days later for an u/s) abd he goes oh the pocket of fluid next to your baby is gone!!! I did have a bleed again at 20 or 21 weeks with ds3 just a gush then nothing more? They just put it down to a vessel maybe?
I am do sorry you've had to go through so many I am terrified of becoming utd again also realized maybe c section scarring maybe affects the likelihood of another sticky bubba (have had 3 c sections) also my "unusual" shaped uterus which is floppy as well. Hmm makes me wonder too my younger sister suffered a mc and my mother suffered many, does family history affect these things?
Honestly so much is still unknown about pregnancy I wish there was answers to them all.

Big hugs to all xxx

Hi Ladies

MLR - When I had my last (2nd) blighted ovum it was suggested to me to get tested for ureaplasma. I knew a lady who had 4 BO one after the other and her FS ran this test and was treated for it. I think it's a simple blood test. Could be worth a look?

Hi Girls, Hope you're all healthy and healing well...
I just had a very nice weekend away, just to get away from everything and am now back feeling heaps better. I also ended up getting engaged on Friday, am so excited!
Just had the results back from the D&C, from the obstetrician, and according to the results there weren't any chromosomal abnormalities... Everything was alright with bub, so now it's still a question mark why its little heart stopped beating... We also found out it was a boy, which makes it all so much more real and totally made me upset again, we so wanted this little one. I kinda wished we hadn't found out, but then I would have always wondered. Thankfully todays technology is awesome, I can't imagine having to have gone through this a 100 years ago, when it was also very taboo.
Thinking of you all!

Congrats Me4ever that's very exciting, I love weddings yay! Sorry to hear about your little boy, sounds like we have the same thing, only mine was a girl again. Sometimes these things justh happen for no reason apparently but I find that hard to swallow given the fact I had the blood clot and I've had progesterone issues. Have you had your progesterone checked?

Hi Ashie - you're welcome, any questions ask away. Definitely look into things, who wants to go through this time and time again. I've been doing it for a year now with 4 under my belt and that's with 6 months of treatment grrrrr!

I hope everyone else is well, still waiting for AF to come back here, it's been almost 5 weeks since the D&C and I swear I had ovulation pain going on 2 weeks ago now - usually my cycles are short so maybe for once I'm going to have a normal one and get AF this week. I can't keep up with my body anymore, it does what it bloomin well wants!

Hi ladies,

It is with a heavy heart I join this thread. We lost our little angel a couple of weeks ago now, and i have been popping and and reading but haven't been quite ready to join.
I was 10 weeks when we had a follow up scan and were told our little one had stopped growing and no longer had a heartbeat.... We our first scan at 8 weeks and were only measuring 6 and a half weeks, but becasue I have Endo and such long cycles my Ob said to try not to worry and it was likely I had just ovulated very late. We could see the flutter of the heartbeat so we tried not to worry. It was devestating to be told at our follow up scan a couple of weeks later that our little baby had passed away. I had a D&C a few days later, I had only a very small amount of bleeding on of the operation and no bleeding at all after that. I have no idea when to expect my next period though....
It has been a horrible and emotional time, as I am sure you all understand. i have just withdrawn and can't face anyone. i tried to come back to work last week and was a mess in the office. My boss is in Sydney (I am in Melbourne) and is a horrible woman and told me just to work from home (after i told her I wasn't ready to return to work yet - I had only had two days off!). It feels so wrong getting on with life as normal. And I feel horrible that it's like i was never pregnant now and i just have to get on with things. My husband has been a huge support, so i have someone to talk to thankfully. I know in my head that these things happen for a reason, but I am still trying to get my heart around it.
I am sorry about such a 'me' post, and I am sorry if my post brings up emotions for you all with what you have all been through aswell. I am truely sorry for your losses and the complications some of you are now experiencing. i hope you can get the answers you want and need.

Hi Bubble147 - I'm so sorry for your loss, we all sadly understand how you are feeling, you will feel better in time, but the pain never completely leaves you. Your boss sounds horrid, clearly she has no children of her own, even someone who hasn't experienced a miscarriage would have more heart than that surely. I would expect that of an ignorant man but not a woman, fooey to her. Big hugs to you while you heal xx As for when AF returns, I had my 2nd D&C 5 weeks ago tomorrow and I have short cycles due to a progesterone issue, so normally every 3 weeks I get AF without progesterone supplementation in the 2nd half of my cycle, but this time I still haven't had AF show. My first D&C AF showed 3 weeks later, I'm now 5 weeks in and nothing, I had ovulation pain a couple of weeks ago so maybe it's soon and by the munchies and moods I've been in they must be near. Not sure how our bodies work, I usually get AF 10/11 days max after I ovulate and I'll be 15 days tomorrow. Maybe my body is having a "normal" cycle for once, typical given I'm not TTC'ing at the moment. GRRR

How is everyone else doing?

Hi Bubble - am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs for you. It does feel weird to begin with, feeling so empty. I'm feeling back to normal now, about 2,5 weeks after D&C and it's as if I was never pregnant... All symptoms have gone, no more going to the loo all night (I'm not missing that ;)), I fit in my normal clothes again...
Last Thursday HCG was down to 50, so I suppose soon it'll be all out of my system. Does anyone else get their HCG tracked down?

Alison - Thanks for the congrats ;)! As my little one was conceived via IVF I had crinone (progesterone) for the weeks before the positive preg. test. After that I was being tracked by clinic and progesterone was all good. It's weird isn't it, that all seemed fine according to the tests, but yet the bub didn't last. I think it's nice to know that it was a little boy, as we have seen the heart beating on several occasions, and this makes it even more real that I was really pregnant. Do you feel the same about knowing that it was a girl?

Hugs for everyone!

Hi ladies, just popping in to congratulate you me4ever on your engagement hun! So very happy for you hun xox

Bubble, I'm very sorry for your loss hun :hug:. I wish you didn't find yourself here :(

Alison, glad you're doing OK hunni. I hope your AF comes for you soon. Mine came about 5.5 weeks after my D & C.

MLR, I'm really sorry for your loss too hunni :hug:

Hello smamfa, ashie, ladybirdflies and anyone else I missed, I hope you're all going well.

Well, just a quick update from me....I have begun my 4th cycle of IVF about 2 weeks ago and I am going to get my eggs picked up tomorrow. I really hope and pray this cycle is successful, I don't know how long I can keep this up :( xoxoxo

Thanks Miss.B! I'm keeping everything crossed for you that this IVF cycle will give you a beautiful bubba on board!