Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #3

[smamfa]

Freya - glad your body is getting back to normal, it makes sense hun that your emotions might take a bit longer to catch up. Be gentle on yourself xx

ladybirdflies - I am happy for you that you and dh have reached a point where you can ttc, even though I know it must be scary too.

Alison and ashie - Like the both of you I was sure I ovulated a while back - but now I am thinking perhaps my body only TRIED to ovulate (had +opk and stacks of ewcm, streaked with spotting tho), and actually that cycle was anovulatory? Either that or I had a 7 day lp, which I guess could also happen, but sux! I have af now, although it took me a while to be sure it was af because the bleeding was so gradual in the beginning. I really hope that after this af that my body works out how to be normal again, I have been spotting and or bleeding since the mc (I think I had 2 or so days without anything.) I am def moody and grumpy so I think my hormones must be a lil crazy.

[Alison1973]

I haven't counted the days but I will now hang on......................I'm day 43 so only 2 behind you! What exactly happens to you, do you mean you get your period a lot? I get AF on day 23 usually with a good 3 days of spotting prior to that so this too is my longest cycle ever in my life!!!! And believe me, this past 12 months I have been far from normal also. Hmmm, are we freaks or what? lol Oh I see you live in Baldivis, is that Perth Baldivis? Up I'm in Carramar, just past Joondalup

Hi Smamfa - yay to finally getting AF, for the record I have been grumpy and moody for the most part of the year now, I've forgotten what it's like not to be, so over it.

[smamfa]

Alison - i didn't have too much trouble getting af - this is my SECOND af since the mc, this one coming 7 days after I (supposedly) ovulated! Like I said, I'm sure the universe mixed us up and this one was meant to go to you... I would have been quite happy with NOT bleeding for just a little while! I already have troubles with anaemia, so I'm sure this is not helping. LOL!

[Alison1973]

Hi Smamfa, I never thought I'd be jealous of someone having AF before LOL! If I was having my usual cycles I would be having my 2nd by now too!

[Em_325]

Hi girls it is with a heavy heart that I join you. I mc early yesterday morning so it's still quite raw for me. I was 8+6 and had been TTC for 2 years. I did have warning that it was coming as I had been bleeding for 2 weeks, had super slow rising hcg and had scans that we're measuring 2 weeks behind but it's still hard. I wasn't going to join so soon but I have a question that I hope you can help with. I have been left with absolutely no energy. I feel so weak and can barely move. I'm putting it down to the amount of blood I lost but I want to know if any of you experienced this and how long did it take for you to get your energy back?

[Alison1973]

Firstly, Em_325, I am so so sorry you have to join us in here, for a horrid reason there are some amazingly strong and supportive women in here so you've come to a good place. It's very sad to happen after trying for so long so again I'm very sorry, I've been TTC for over 12 months but I am lucky enough to have a 2.5 year old daughter already. I was 8+6 when I had my D&C so not sure if it feels different to bleeding naturally but I definitely felt very energyless and flat afterwards, I have had 2 this year, my first I recovered quite quickly, but this last time I felt that way for a good 2 weeks, not sure if it was the anaesthetic, the hormones, or a bit of everything but all you can do is take it as easy as possible, drink lots of water and get some multi vitamins into you to help lift up your iron etc. Again I'm so very sorry for you, do they know why this has happened, is it your first miscarriage? I was the same as you this past one as I had a blood clot. I hope you can find the strength to heal and any questions ask away, as I said before everyone in here completely understands what you're going through and how you feel. Big big hugs xxxx

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Yep Em, sadly totally normal. I personally think it's a combination of blood loss and also emotional/mental state - it's kind of a shell shock y'know? Take it gently darl, rest up and take it slow

A friend had her baby early this morning. I've been inundated with pics and happy messages, and I've been crying on and off all day. All I can think about is how she gets to have squishy newborn cuddles now, she's gotten to meet her little girl and all is right in their world. I want it to be us so badly

[ashie]

Alison- I pretty much have spotting most of the month then ad would arrive and start the cycle again! It only started in 2008 after ds1 and lots of testing and still no answer of why, but somehow before falling pregnant with button I had managed to get bleeding halved to half the month so the mc has knocked the whole everlasting af again (which has only stopped 2 days ago)
Weird we are but at least not alone we have each other to vent out our bodies weirdness! Yeap Perth way just out of rockingham I fit in well with nipping to the shops at night in pj pants a hoodie and uggs lmao! I was actually in Perth this arvo get my phone replaced under warranty highly do not recommend taking children into apple ds 1 and 2 came out asking for iPads and now it's all their on about (was cute watching them playing match up games though).

Em- firstly I am so sorry for your loss it is truly unfair that you've had to experience this xx
I had a natural loss and went I actually lost button I was so weakly and shakey (my mc's happen quickly both times lost bub the same day I started bleeding) my energy was zero I just laid down but it felt like my inside was just shaking I had hardly any energy to stand and walking I felt weak like collapsing? I didn't loose alot of blood though I think I and my body went into shock (even though it's happened before I don't think I could prepare myself)
It took a few days for me to physically starting feeling a bit better maybe for emotionally it to sink in? Take care of your self, keep off your feet if need to and go to the doctors if need to if you feel something isn't right and even for a check up it took my hcg levels a while to go down (some people it doesn't but it's some good info to know if things do not turn back to normal straight away) *big hugs* xxx


Keike- *hugs*
I found out one of my best friends is expecting her bubba like the same day as button was due, i am happy for her very much but also sad as we lost our bundle (didn't tell anyone we were expecting purely for this reason) so I've kept everything hidden including emotions.
I really hope soon you'll be getting that happiness, you deserve this. xx

[ladybirdflies]

Wow Ladybirdflies that will be interesting! I don't know if I've been tested for that, I will definitely ask at my appointment in a little under 2 weeks.

How is everyone going?

Girls I'm starting to get worried, it's been 6.5 weeks since my D&C and still no AF, is this normal? I had spotting a week ago for a few days, brown in colour but it never eventuated into anything. With my low egg count now I'm freaking out I've run out of eggs, is that possible to just suddenly happen? Argh what is going on, last D&C I was AF 3 weeks later, this sucks

Hi Alison, my first miscarriage it was spot on 28 days. The second one I had a d&c after the miscarriage and it didn't come till much later. I can't remember when though? I really felt that my cycle has changed since the d&c even still now it doesn't seem how it ever was. I am having a lot more spotting at the beginning and end of each bleed.


Ashie- Gee how confusing for you??? I hope it all gets sorted and back into good timing for you soon.


Smafa- Fingers crossed your cycle becomes more clear now. Did you have a d & c? from what you have all replied I wonder if it has something to do with the surgery. My DH asked about how close O is for us, and I had a mini freak out about trying now... even though last week I was crying and saying we simply must try this month and wait no longer. Grrrrr this can be a real head screw at times. I am waiting for the test results before we try this month though.


Warm hello to you EM, I am sorry to read your experience I hope you find support in this space. It is certainly a safe place to come and ask questions and seek support. I had a complete miscarriage at 8weeks last Dec, bleeding on and off for two weeks before that. I was very tired after and felt the same in my body as I did after I birthed a full term baby (without the grazing!!!) Your womb has opened and you have birthed in a way, plus the blood loss, so be sure to rest alot and drink plenty and take your time. Don't be in a rush to get out of bed if you can. My second miscarriage in April at 13 weeks I naturally miscarried but it was not complete and I lost over 2Lts of blood, this is a whole other scenario, I had to stay in bed for many weeks, but it really made me realise how quickly we try and pop back to normal. Rent some dvds a book, get some healthy food and juices and pump up your batteries, and heal your heart.


Keike- *hugs* I hope your dream baby arrives soon. I cannot fathom your experience and journey. x


AFM- test results today...... will this answer what has happened to us the last 6 months?? If it's all clear I still feel petrified about trying again but I really really want to try again!!!! head screw! Have a great Monday everyone xx

[Em_325]

Hi Girls thanks for the welcome. It's bittersweet isn't it this is not a place any of us wanted to be in but at the same time it's comforting to be able to discuss it with people that get it.

I don't have the energy for proper persies at the moment so I'm just going to combine it in one. They havent given me a reaon as such just said that sometimes the embryo doesn't develop properly and the body knows its not compatible. I saw the OB today and he did a scan I had a complete mc so I won't need a d&c yet although he did say I have a very thick lining so I have a lot of blood left to come out so they may still have to do one but will monitor me. He is getting my thyroid checked as well which I suppose is standard after a mc but I doubt it had anything to do with it as I had just started seeing a FS when we fell pg and he had already done the tests which were normal.

[smamfa]

Welcome Em, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I also had a mc at 8w6d, and just like you I had the scan and they said I had a very thick lining still - I was only lightly spotting at that point so I wondered about that, but I am still bleeding now, which is my 2nd (very heavy) af. I felt quite weak at times too in the beginning, and put it down to bloodloss... my whole family was sick at around the same time, so it was hard to tell what was what. Big hugs xx

Ladybirdflies - no, mine was a natural mc. I understand the freak-out, it causes me stress trying again, and it causes me more stress not being able to try again. Go gently. I'm glad you are getting your test results very soon, and hope it will make you feel better about trying. Was it only the ureaplasma you tested for or was it a bunch of stuff (sorry i can't remember).

keike - *hugs* that's hard xx

alison - don't be jealous haha... this is the neverending af that never um seems to end lol. Soooo much heavier than my usual too.

AFM - please let my body get back to normal after this af... I think i will feel so much better and less in a slump/grump when my body is behaving itself. Hugs to all xx

[ashie]

Just can't sleep!
DS3 is still awake too (he just won't go to bed early anymore!) I don't mind having company though.
Abit down this week, would of been 12 weeks tuesday so feeling a bit teary.
I feel like the most unluckiest person, all the problems I am suffering phyically and just other little things that happen. I joked to dh that my life is like a soap show (he sort of agreed and said my family eg mum dad and me do not have the best of luck!)
No bleeding ATM but still what looks like ewcm *sighs* and such sore (tmi) nipples! (which never happens as I lost my of my bbs from bf and weight loss and sort of don't have 100% feeling in them anymore lol) so my body is still out of whack which must be causing me to feel more emotional. Wish I could shut my mind off would like an early night one day.
Sorry to ramble, I just needed a vent, I cannot wait to get off my roller coaster I am on.
I so can't wait for a shower I can't leave DS3 alone he may be little but gosh he climbs as though he is a monkey (ontop of the couch, tv cabinet etc) he keeps me on my toes! xx

[ashie]

Hi girls, thought I'd ask how long to wait for af? I'm day 52 (almost 8 weeks since my mc) and nothing! I got ferning two weeks ago and been cramping since then (horrible when it feels like af is coming so much throughout the day) done a couple of hpt's they are negitive so not pregnant or any left over from the mc. Just so frustrated and confused might book into the docs tomorrow morning to get bloods taken but don't sure what though? Just want to feel normal again!! Sorry about the me post but don't know what's going on (my last mc went smoothly And everything returned to normal straight away)

[Freya]

Mine has never had any set pattern Ashie so I cant help you.

A little update on me; finally stopped bleeding 5 weeks ago then got AF. Had a whole cycle bleeding free *jumps up and down on couch a la Tom Cruise* and now today AF is arriving on time Im starting to think that all this miscarriage/ectopic drama might actually be over.

Still undecided on TTC and we barely dtd anyway so I think I might just wing it for now and see how I feel in a few months. I want another baby.....................but I dont want all the drama that goes with it

How is everyone else doing?

[smamfa]

Hi ashie, I know it is frustrating! I think I am almost 8 weeks since my mc too, and I am not back to normal either, but mine is the opposite problem - I want to STOP bleeding! I did have a day or 2 in there with no spotting, but apart from that have had lots of spotting every day and 2 VERY long VERY heavy af's in there as well. I haven't seen any spotting today yet so I have my FX that it stays away (I've thought it was gone in the past but later a fresh batch of heavy spotting has turned up.)
My last mc (not including the chem preg) I got back to normal straight away too (but I was less than 6 weeks preg that time so it was a lot earlier.)
I hope you get a proper af soon so you can start to feel like yourself.

I wish us all normal cycles!

Alison - are you still waiting on af too? You have your first new-clinic appt soon right? Excited for you!

Freya - Yay! I understand your Tom Cruise moment LOL!! I will be having one of those today if it turns out my bleeding really has stopped. Everytime I think it has gone my spirits lift and I feel more like myself, then when I realise my hormones are still wacked I get all grumpy and blah again!

[Rach83]

Hi ashie

My second took 9 weeks to return. Go have a blood test to see where your hcg levels are at

[ashie]

I rang up and they couldn't fit me in this week
I thought I'd use my maybe baby to see if it's still pebbles nope ferning?? Which is unusual for me (always test first thing in the morning so no foods or drinks can affect it) still feel cramps on and off but no af still? My hcg last time was tested was 17 and having neg pregnancy tests leads me to believe they hcg went back to normal. My bleeding problem stopped after o'ing I should be happy it's not continuing atm. But hate not knowing.
Another friend has just announced she is expecting and due 2 days after my edd!
I feel down too many reminders and just not getting back to my old self (I'm moody too not on purpose but feeling hormonal emotions are everywhere!)

[Rach83]

The emotional pain will settle down but it bubbles at the surface on occasions. My edd is in 4 days and it is bubbling away at the moment and even though I'm pregnant again I still want to stab someone!
Just be aware that it will resurface at times and it's ok to acknowledge it
And be sad/angry about it xx

Hope af comes soon so you can at least physically move on.