need some advice - procedure after loss

[Jas]

I'm not sure but I just wanted to say I am so so sorry for your loss

[Janie]

Rory, I'm so sorry for you loss hun

I had a D&C after my missed miscarriage in 2006. When we discovered via ultrasound that our baby was no longer, and there was nothing we could do about it, I wanted the 'pregnancy' over that minute, yesterday. My heart needed a D&C, ASAP. Fortunately, my Ob recognised that need, and put me first on his list for that afternoon (and he was amazing that whole day, I will never forget his compassion). It was not easy, I won't lie. But I could go on with grieving immediately, and move on to hoping for another baby soon. It was all I could think about, falling pg again was the only thing that could help me at the time.

I'm not saying at all that you 'should' have a D&C, but that you will know what you need to do for yourself in this situation.........your heart will tell you. Inanna is right, the risks are there, but are tiny. Perhaps don't let them stress you out, but see if you can find inside you what it is that you need to do right now, and discuss it with your care providers

[anney]

I am sorry you are going through this Rory.
I think Janie said it beautifully - go with your heart. When we found our baby had died at a 10 week scan, I did not want a D&C as I felt IVF had been enough intervention and I could not go through the emotional turmoil of having to go into hospital when I felt so awful. But DD's birthday was coming up so I also did not want to wait so I took the tablets and they worked wonderfully. Ir felt much better to be able to end it in the comfort of my home. but having said that I ended up with a D&C as went back for IVF and the doctor did a scan and there were still retained products. But a D&C 6 weeks later was much less emotional.

[murraycod]

Rory sweetheart i'm so sorry for your loss Darling.
Iv'e been nursing for twelve years, and in the few experienced I have had nusing someone in hospital taking meds to bring on a misscariage, past 8wks gestation, 90% have had to go back to have D+C anyway due to retained products. Which only seems to make a sad experience more prolonged and invasive.
Giving how far along you were, and as sad as it is the time of year, I personally would get D+C. Deep down in your heart you only know what is best.
I wish you health no matter your decision, and again I'm just so sorry you are having to even go through this X
Take care X

[Roryrory]

Thanks again girls. I am feeling really cruddy today, purely hormonal and depressed in a way that I am able to observe what is going on but not be able to do anything about it. I can now really empathise with how devastating a miscarriage can be. None of my depression is related to the baby which wasn't there because I do actually feel at ease with that, but its still awful to go through. I can imagine how true feelings of loss would be horrendously exacerbated by this hormonal rollercoaster. I am going to go through the D&C - I want this crap over with ASAP!

[Tanya]

So sorry Rory

(((hugs)))

[Trillian]

Rory, I'm sure it will all go smoothly tomorrow for you and you wont have any further issues take care and you know where to find a shoulder to lean on if you need it.

[Roryrory]

Thanks girls The procedure went really well - no pain and minimal bleeding, and my body reacts really well to anaesthetic (I think I am a prime candidate for plastic surgery - you could perform needless surgery on me and my body would thank you for it LOL!) Only slightly annoyed I didn't get any pethadine this time!
I felt a bit sooky on the way home but generally feeling better now. Mum has the boys overnight so DH and I are going to use our free movie tix to see "Zombieland" and have a meal at the local pub (this time using a 50% off voucher). Plus we get to sleep in tomorrow, so we will try to make the best of the evening.

Thanks again all, I really am so glad to be part of the BB community and not have to do this on my own. Anyone who says the internet has led to the fragmentation of society hasn't checked out this place.