Oh Ellie, sweetheart, this is just not right.....I DO know how you feel.....

I wanted to die, in fact I wished I'd died after the D&C for a while...I didn't care if my DH had an affair and left me, whether I washed my hair, whether I changed my babies nappies, whether I even got off the damned sofa, I was a HUGE mess..

Claire is right - get through the day, whatever, however . Breathe, cry, curse, break things - pots/pans/glasses/windows - leave the baby things for now, they are innocent and should be free of the pain - I smashed my dinner service (well, half of it) and it felt so good - I couldn't face trashing the baby things, that HUGE subconscious tug of longing and hope held out big time!!

Let it out and gain strength...sod the boss, he'll either come round or you will move on...no loss.

Come back when you can, there will always be someone here...there was for me...and I can't start to say what that has meant

Love
Alex
xxx