Hold on to your faith and anything else you can. It a very painful time. My angels left me on New Years Eve and New Years Day. While everyone else was counting down for 2008 I was hunched over in a hot shower crying. It hurts... hurts like hell BUT each day is a new day and each day is one more step towards your dreams.

I like you react to pregnant women I see or little new born babies. I m not cranky or angry at them I m just sad. Hubby and I can be walking through the shopping center and walking towards me is a pregnant lady. I just go quiet. Hubby has gotten to the stage where he will give me about 30 seconds and then bring me back into current reality. My response to him... I was off in fairy land again. His response...... I know. So far there is always a tear running down but I know one day soon I will see a pregnant lady and I wont have the tear. Not because I miss my angel babies any less but because Time is a wonderful healer.


I also have 2 wonderful sons.... cant call them kids.... they are 18 and 16. I know that when I had my eldest I was 18 and on the pill. Didnt matter, he made his way through anyway. When I decided to have a second baby it also just happened the first month we tried. I have always taken getting pregnant for granted. Now however I have remarried and its not as easy as it used to be.

I know that when I get the BFP again i m going to be scared again. Scared something will happen. But that day is not today and I will deal with that one when I get there.

For the first week after I lost my angels I found searching the internet a good way of coping. I read so many memorials to so many lost angels. I felt comfort in that. With that being the case I decided to do a memorial for my angels. The Link is below and you are welcome to view it. Hope it helps.