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Thread: Not sure what to do or think

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    San Angelo, Texas
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    Unhappy Not sure what to do or think

    Hi, I am new at this. I experieneced my first mc on 1/9/08. It was with my second child. I have a beautiful 4 year old little girl. I am so sad and angry. I had a D&C after which kinda helped. I am just so scared that I will be unable to have another child. I feel empty inside like all my happiness has been ripped out. I need to be happy and be there for my daughter, but it is so hard. I find myslef getting so mad at all the pregnant women I see. Iknow I can have children, I just worry that this will happen again.


  2. #2

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    Feb 2005
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    Boyne Island
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    :hugs:

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    San Angelo, Texas
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    Thanks hugs are always wonderful. I think I am worried that I will not have anymore healthy pregnancies. My husband and i are going to try again as soon as we can.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Moura, QLD, Australia
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    did you have any testing done on your baby, it helped ease my mind with my last m/c that there was nothing worng with bubs pes se, therefore I felt empowered to move on and ttc again which we did ad 2 cycles later I got my BFP he is now a delightful almost 16mth old

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Somewhere Over The Rainbow
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    Rambelle, hugs.
    If you scroll through some of the forums you will see that most of the ladies here have had at least one MC!
    I know you feel so sad, alone, frustrated, angry and helpless right now - you will find strength, it does get easier, adn your daughter will probably help you through that.
    I have had 2 MC's but havent let myself think that i cant have any. Our last MC was in november and we are going to start tryng again around July. I know what you mean by seeing preg women though - sometimes i see ladies on the street and i find myself glaring at their tummies. I just want a=what they have! So dont feel bad - many of us are in the same boat.
    Take lots of time to heal and talk about it as much as you can.
    Lots of big hugs!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    outer South East Melbourne
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    I'm sorry for your loss. Don't stress about having a healthy pregnancy - you will have one. I've had 3 losses and here I am at 41 and I'm 15w6d and I had pretty much given up all hope of ever getting past 6 weeks. Don't feel mean thoughts about the pregnant ladies you see - they may be like me and have taken many years to get there or suffered many losses previously. I know it's hard not to feel that way as I've been there myself. Just think that will be me soon and you will feel a bit better about seeing them. One thing I noticed after m/c was that I constantly saw pregnant women everywhere I went.... I felt like I was being stalked by them.

  7. #7

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    Hi rambelle, I'm pretty much in the same situation as you, my daughter is almost 4 and I had a m/c last week also.
    I've been thinking the same things as you have, it's nice to know that we are not the only ones going through this though.
    Big :hugs: and I hope you get that BFP soon..
    ..Laura

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    San Angelo, Texas
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    Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have actually found relief in my faith. i kinda strayed but I realized that i need to hang onto that with everything. I also believe that it happened for a reason. My husband and I were having problems, and now we are so much closer. I have realized that I might have been taking what I had for granted and now I am not. I realize that I am lucky to have one baby,so I know I can. I am just going to keep taking folic acid and make some lifestyle changes and keep praying and keep faith. I makes it hard since i got pregnant right after my DH got home from Iraq and he might have to go back in 2009. I am going to keep the faith high and the prayers high. I love you all!!!!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    573

    Default Rambelle

    Hold on to your faith and anything else you can. It a very painful time. My angels left me on New Years Eve and New Years Day. While everyone else was counting down for 2008 I was hunched over in a hot shower crying. It hurts... hurts like hell BUT each day is a new day and each day is one more step towards your dreams.

    I like you react to pregnant women I see or little new born babies. I m not cranky or angry at them I m just sad. Hubby and I can be walking through the shopping center and walking towards me is a pregnant lady. I just go quiet. Hubby has gotten to the stage where he will give me about 30 seconds and then bring me back into current reality. My response to him... I was off in fairy land again. His response...... I know. So far there is always a tear running down but I know one day soon I will see a pregnant lady and I wont have the tear. Not because I miss my angel babies any less but because Time is a wonderful healer.


    I also have 2 wonderful sons.... cant call them kids.... they are 18 and 16. I know that when I had my eldest I was 18 and on the pill. Didnt matter, he made his way through anyway. When I decided to have a second baby it also just happened the first month we tried. I have always taken getting pregnant for granted. Now however I have remarried and its not as easy as it used to be.

    I know that when I get the BFP again i m going to be scared again. Scared something will happen. But that day is not today and I will deal with that one when I get there.

    For the first week after I lost my angels I found searching the internet a good way of coping. I read so many memorials to so many lost angels. I felt comfort in that. With that being the case I decided to do a memorial for my angels. The Link is below and you are welcome to view it. Hope it helps.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    LA LA Land
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    A big hug to you. I know what you are going through and your feelings are perfectly normal.
    I hope this site can bring some comfort to you as it has to so many.

    Debbie

  11. #11

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    Your feelings are natural and you need to allow yourself time to grieve. Sadly miscarriages are common place, but luckily women go on to have happy healthy pregnancies, as you will too hun. Keep your chin up and stay strong. Sending lots of baby dust your way!

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    San Angelo, Texas
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    Thanks...I have been talkign to some people who have had miscarriages and it seems that it is almost a routine. I know 7 women who ALL had a miscarriage in between their pregnancies and after the miscarriage they conceived rather quickly and went on to have healthy babies. That gives me so much hope. My Dr. said that luckily I have age on my side since I am not 25 yet. I have hope that it wil happen soon.

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