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Thread: Please Help

  1. #1
    annie86 Guest

    Default Please Help

    Hi everyone,

    I recently gave birth to a beautiful boy but he was born sleeping, I have managed to try and come through the pain everyday for the last 10 months. I found out I was Pregnant last september [/B]and Yesterday they found No Heartbeat at 19weeks and 4days. Does anyone know if my baby will be able to be registered and have a funeral and service when I give birth next week???
    This is the main thing going through my head, I want to Bury our little angel with its Brother and have a service but i am scared I wont be able to.

    We lost our first child due to a very rare genetic condition, it looked like this baby was going to have the same condition and that will be confirmed after the birth. Weather we had the baby now or at full term the outcome was going to be the same as the baby would not be able to survive once the cord was cut.

    I am just scared because i have heard stories that parents who have a child before 20weeks have to bury the child themselves and are not allowed a Funeral service, I just want our angels to be together!!!



    Please if anyone knows the answers or has suggestions as to how i can find them out please reply. Thank you for listening to me.

    Annie

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Annie
    I am not sure sorry but I just really wanted to say how sorry I am for the losses of your two beautiful angles. I really hope you get the answers you need and you can have your two precious children together.
    Take care

  3. #3

    Join Date
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    :hugs: I don't know but I just wanted to stop off and say I am very very sorry for your losses..

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    If you give birth at over 20 weeks, then your child will need to be registered with Births, Deaths and Marriages, and you will receive birth and death certificates. You will also have a funeral and burial.

    THis is the case in Victoria, anyway. Not sure about other states.

    I'm truly sorry to hear about your angels.

  5. #5

    Join Date
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    Annie, I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses :-( I have no advice as such but just wanted to give you a huge hug

  6. #6

    Join Date
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    Annie i am so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry i can't answer your questions either.
    But maybe some of these people can help;

    SANDS- stillbirth and neonatal death Support, Boxhill, Vic, 98990218

    Bonnie Babes-9803 1800- Bonnie Babes Foundation > Home


    They are both 24hr phone lines for support for peope who have suffered a loss. I hope you get some answers.

  7. #7

    Join Date
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    Annie, my heart goes out to you, i cannot begin to imagine what you have been through.

    As per Ange's post above, contact Bonnie Babes, they are so lovely and will help you with whatever you need.

    I wish we could make you feel better (hugs)

  8. #8

    Join Date
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    Hi Annie- my heart goes out to you, I can't believe what you have been through.

    When my son Thomas was born at 19 weeks, we didn't register him or have a funeral or anything, but we were given his ashes. You could have a service with a celebrant if you wanted, if they don't let you have a 'proper' funeral. Or you could let them go yourselves when you are ready, with your own special little service, which is what we did. Just know your babies will be together in spirit even if they can't be together on earth.

    Big hugs

  9. #9
    misspiggy Guest

    Default so deeply sorry

    I am new and i want to express my sorrow for u i know exactly how you feel i also lost 3 angels my thiughts and prayers are with u and u familytake care

  10. #10

    Default

    I am so sorry for the loss of your precious bub I hope that you are able to do what you want for your little angel and that your babies will be together :hugs:

  11. #11
    annie86 Guest

    Default

    Thank You to everyone for you kind throught and messages.
    I gave birth to our second angel at 12pm 23/01/08 at 20weeks and 1 day so my parthner and I can Bury our Angels Together which will help alot with the pain.

  12. #12

    Join Date
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    as sad as your situation is, i am pleased for you that you were able to at least bury your beautiful angels together. I hope you hang around BB to get some support if you want it.
    Good luck on your baby journey, xx

  13. #13

    Join Date
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    i am so sad to hear of your losses, sending you a big hug,we are all here for you .

  14. #14
    bubNo.2 Guest

    Default

    Hi,
    Annie86:
    I was just browsing and read your post ... so sorry to hear about your dear bub. To answer your querie re taking your 19 week old baby home after delivery for funeral etc... Have you or your dr actually rang the hospital to tell them you would like to take your babys body to have it buried etc etc. I cant see why they would say no (even if you get your bub after the intial tests...sorry to sound harsh). Ask your doctor and arrange it through him ......

    Take care

    Ainsley

  15. #15

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    Annie,
    I am so pleased you have your babies together, it was something that I will always regret not doing.
    Having the time to think what you want to do is very important, It is a traumatic time and unfortunatley no one mentioned anything to me except a lovely midwife who told me that they had to put my girl in a solution for the pathologist so "Do you want to see her?" As though I was making her day even harder by having a stillborn.
    Something we thought was a blessing having our obst back date by a few days threw Charlotte back to 19 weeks actually turned into a nightmare of not acknowledging her exisitence for me.
    May your babies be living in eternal happiness.
    Bec

  16. #16
    annie86 Guest

    Default

    Hi again,

    I will stay with BB to help me talk maybe. We are meeting with the funeral people today to try and organise it all. We just dont know when we are going to get our angel back, we agreed for Tests to be done to try and get answers as to if there is another way we can have childern because this genetic problem is a 1 is 4 chance of happening in each pregnancy.
    We also need to name our angel but when it was born we couldnt tell the sex so we have to wait for those results to come back. We have the name if its a Boy or Girl.
    A few people have said this one will be easier but I dont know how they can say that one was not easy and now having 2 little angels its even harder! My partner and I have wanted to have a baby for nearly 2 years now but it just is not meant to happen and it sucks.
    Thanks to everyone for you kind wishes and I am very sorry for your losses also.

    Annie86

  17. #17

    Default

    Hi Annie, I'm so sorry for your losses, to lose two beautiful children is a tragedy. I'm glad you can bury them together and have them recognised by the rest of the world too.

  18. #18

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    Auckland, New Zealand
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    Im SO sorry for you losses **hugs** Im not sure how to help you with your questions, but I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

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