Pap, you have been through so much. I know how it feels. It takes time to work your way through it, but I have found that the best thing to do is to talk. Tell your DF how you are feeling and that you are going through a really difficult time at the moment and need his support. Chances are he needs to talk too.
Let him know that you aren't interested in DTD at the moment and probably won't be any time in the near future, but that you do want to DTD again someday.
My other advice would be to talk to a counsellor. After my first two miscarriages I had no one to talk to and was in a bad way for ages. Eventually I made some really good friends in a new town and was able to talk to them and they helped me through my third miscarriage.
Just take it easy, try to relax and talk about your feelings.
And remember to take it one day at a time. It won't all just go away overnight, but after a while you learn how to work beyond it. You never forget it, but you can get past it.

Just my two cents, hope it helps a bit. If it doesn't, then I give you permission punch me in the arm.