Oh, Miss B. I wish I was lucky enough not to understand what you're going through, but man- do I. It's ok to feel ripped off and flat out devastated. I too wish I wasn't back in here. It sucks. My recent chem was such a shock, and over so quickly that I have found myself questioning that it really happened. Stupidly, I still have the positive test to prove it. I don't want to throw it away. I should be almost 9 weeks. "Should." There you go. I have a bad case of 'the shoulds' right now. It doesn't help that a close friend is pg, at the same gestation I was supposed to be. Every milestone is a reminder, but at the same time I don't want to miss out on her journey either.

IT SUCKS! My only advice is to allow yourself to feel whatever you want, and don't push yourself to 'return to normal' before it's time. I wish I could take my own advice, but alas....... DP doesn't share the same sadness I do. Again. He never grieves or understands or even cares about our losses. I would've hoped he would at least care that I am hurting, but I can't even tell him. I don't want to share that part of me with him again for him to shoot me down and tell me our baby was 'nothing'. Well, it sure didn't feel like nothing when I held it in my hand and said goodbye, while blood and tears and despair all mix together.

Sorry, what a massive downer that was.

I guess that's my way of saying I'm right here beside you, feeling ripped off and not knowing where to turn. I'm so so sorry for your loss.