Is this harsh?

[mummy of 3 boys]

i dont know whether this ruined my son but he is 2.5 and he would scream beyound scream to sit on the toilet i bought an insert for the toilet with a little ladder the whole lot he still refused to sit on it so i use to sit him on it while screaming and explain to him that nothing can hurt him and just comforted him the whole time, once he finally did a wee i would dance around like an idiot (he would laugh at me) and tell him how wonderful and clever he was to go, my son doesnt like being told he is a "big boy" so maybe stear clear of telling your son this maybe like someone else mentioned alot earlier on he doesnt want to grow up
I also started a toilet training chart, everytime he sat on the toilet and no crying was involved he would get a star then once he got used to this i then changed it to u only get a star when you do a wee and he soon caught on, another thing that my son found amusing was those little 4 minute shower timers that the water companies handed out a few yrs ago we stuck it to the wall and turned it and when it finished (even if nothing had been done in the toilet) he was allowed off, i also bought little gifts for him and gave him chocolates when he did something in the toilet not all the time but it still encouraged him
I second what others have said dont give up now you have started keep being consistent as the more you give in the more he is going to know your giving up and i too believe at 4yr enough is enough!
Goodluck and i really hope your going to get somewhere it might be a long journey as they say nothing is easy so stick it out and u will be glad you did in the long run!


before i go, also does he watch daddy wee?? my son loved watching daddy go to the toilet and he actually asked me what i was doing one day on the toilet ( THIS MIGHT SOUND GROSS AND TMI) but i showed him i was weeing and he got all excited that mummy and daddy wee'd in the toilet, you really need to make a big deal about going to the toilet talk to him about it telling him its ok to feel scared about the toilet but there is nothing on there that will hurt him, tell him you will stay with him while going to the toilet he can even hold onto you, maybe take a book to read while on the toilet???


ETA: i spoke to my mum not long ago my younger sister has a disability and never got night toilet trained until she was about 15 mum had tests done on her and it comes back she has 3 tubes coming from her bladder instead of 2 so she found it very hard to hold on, well anyways when it come to day toilet training mum said she was quite good at toilet training so if someone with 3 cords from their bladder can toilet train then surely your son can too....And i wonder also are you sure he's not weeing on the lounge or anything cause surely you cant hold on ALL day without needing to wee!