No you are not crazy! It's only natural that you want to be able to feed your baby, every drop helps. See if the midwives will let you help do the charts recording feeds and temps etc. I found it all very daunting in the beginning no one would really talk to you or show you the ropes. All three of mine were nursery bubs so by the end I would just take over whenever I was there and would talk to the other mums if they were looking lost. I hope you get those cuddles soon, with dd1 we eventually worked out that holding her upright would stop the chucking so I would hold her as long as we could get away with which depended on the midwife but generally she had to be back in her crib within an hour of her feed starting.