Hi Berry

When I was little, my mum constantly told me that I'd come early, how I'd almost died, how she wasn't allowed to see me for two weeks, how they'd made her decide on a name 'just in case' for the death certificate etc. etc.

I can't say that bothered me because she basically told it in a "you're special" kind of way and said the nurses had told her that despite all the barriers, "she's a little fighter." So for mum and therefore for me, prematurity was a badge of honour.

However, if mum had gone on about how perhaps I was behind in talking (find that hard to believe), walking etc. etc. that would have been a very negative message and one that perhaps could have affected me badly. By the way, I have no idea whatsoever if I was behind at any stage and couldn't care less.

So I think it depends on the messages you're putting out to your daughter.

Just make them both feel special regardless of whether they're premature, full term, vaginal or caesarean. They simply don't care about that stuff but will pick up on whether you care about the circumstances of their birth.