Caitlin is doing so well - her required number of good blood sugar levels have been achieved, she is not having any interventions other than her feed tube and is amazing me with everything she does. We are currently working on getting her to associate full tum with breast (limited suck reflex so far) and I am busy expressing to try and get her over to full EBM feeds via the tube now that her sugars have stablised.
I had a big big cry tonight - one of the NICU nurses spoke to me in a manner that made me feel like a 4 year old - I would have thought that working in such an area she would have realised the range of emotions I am going through and maybe given me the infomation about NICU/SCN processes (ie not picking them up unless they are already awake, apparently I don't have to go up for every single tube feed ( um well what if I WANT TO!!) - anyway, I broke down and told DP I would see him back on my ward... I was going to snot that nurse... I mean far out - I am a first time mum, with a prem bub and she treats me like a two year old... it is so hard being here in the mat ward and hearing all the newborns crying and knowing that my girl can't be with me just now.
I found one nurse to be like that when my DD was in hossy too (she was born at 31 wks from severe PE complications too). I can't remember what she said - but I lost the plot and burst into tears.
Emotions are already high up due to the quick and surprising birth - and you're already on tender hooks so to speak.
I'm sorry you came across a horrible nurse hun. Hugs. Stay strong!
Firstly Congratulations TK,
First time mummy and you got an early arrival kinda makes them special in their own right . I too had my DD due to PE complications @ 31+3. You will find (in no way am I defending the nurse) that the nurses you will encounter over your journey will vary from the downright nasty to the extremely sweet and totally understanding. I had a nurse similar to that and told her that whilst yes it was her JOB to enforce the hospitals policies and so on- I was DD's mother and the buck stopped with me. I wanted to know everything that was going on. Crying is good and I was always encouraged to do so, it is an emotional rollercoaster you have just been thrust upon. I was encouraged to ask as many questions that I could think of. So I encourage you to do the same. Knowledge is more power to you hun it will help you understand what lies ahead for you and you family.
Is your DD in a humidicrib or an open cot? If in an open cot, I would be asking why cant I hold my DD afterall isnt bonding the most crucial thing paticular with a preemie, Kangaroo cuddles (skin on skin cuddles-usually bub will be rested on your naked chest under your top with blankets on top) are supposed to be most beneficial for them as they can hear mummy's heartbeat and studies have shown that they are more settled and their vitals stabilise when close to the mummy. When is a preemie baby awake?? Excuse me but very rarely!! Like you I experienced the maternity ward blues. Being there without a baby is so so hard. So I adopted the theory- "my baby cant come to me but I can move heaven and earth to go to her". You have every right to be there for you DD's tube feeds. I was the only mother in our SCN that was. Even the overnight ones.
I hope you have a lovely gentle rollercoaster with Caitlin.
Tiff xox
Last edited by tiffanny; August 11th, 2009 at 11:56 AM.
TK, I'm so sorry hunny. Unfortunately the nurses, like us, are only human and have bad days too Not defending her, just putting it into perspective.
If Caitlin is in an open cot there is no reason why you cant cuddle her when you want.... if you were up on the ward you'd be able to, if you were at home you'd be able to, so you CAN when in there too! Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and remind them that she is YOUR daughter and you WILL cuddle her when you want to!
If she's in an isolette, then it's a little different, but the same still applies. She is YOUR daughter, they have to respect that too!
Also, even though she has limited suck reflex, when they are tube feeding you can also stick her on the boob, that will not only help with her making the connection between sucking and full tummy, but it will also help your supply. I used to give a breast suckle before a tube feed.
All the best hun.
Well, both my boys are sick again Brendan has only just got over a throat infection and both ears too He had a hearing test yuesterday and he is slowly improving, but still not very good He can hear, but his perception of where the sound is coming from is really bad, he also has fluid in both ears Poor bugger can't catch a break.
Thanks Leesa - yesterday was a huge culmination of all the emotions I had experienced until that point and it was nice to get it all out. Sorry that you went through a similar experience
Tiffany, thanks - she is a treasure. The weirdest thing for me is that I work at the hospital we are at and I know that there are huge variances in nurses personalities and mannerisms but dealing with them as a colleauge (I work in Human Resources) and then dealing with them as a patient is a HUGE contrast - one I probably didn't give a lot of thought to lol. I did feel a lot better after the cry and it also gave me a good nights sleep.
She is in an open cot thing (will have to take a pic) and the only cords she has are the monitors and her feeding tube. No drips, IVs etc etc. So I am going up for each feed now and we are doing a breast feed first before every second feed.
Sally, its ok - I get the perspective thing - just super hormonal and it all hit me at once. I might ask one of the other nurses to go through the info with me again - re processes, when I can pick her up so I know in my head what is happening. Not sure what an isolette is but I think she is in an open cot - as I said to Tiff, might be best to take a photo and post it. Thank you - Bonham08 speaks very highly of you and when we knew that Caitlin may be early she suggested I contact you because you are such an inspiration xox. Sorry the boys are ill... i hope a small break comes your way soon xox
Aww Thanks!! Isolette is also known as a humidi-crib It's great that Caitlin is in an open cot, thats at least one hurdle out the way! She sounds like a true little champion Have the dr's given any idea as to how long she may be in for? I asked with Tristan (34+3) and was told roughly 10-14 days, depending on him. Ended up being 6 in SCN and 2 on the ward with me Mostly they tell you until their due date though.
Well Brendan has gotten worse, I'm watching him like a hawk now, I hink he may have a flu He's not vomiting and is breathing fine... but other than that has everything else.. temp, cough, sleepy, whingy/sooky, not as active, off his food and drink, even has the runs Got some hydralite icypoles, going to try those when he wakes.
I was initially told she would be in till at least 36 weeks (so 10-14 days or so) but have just heard tonight that Caitlin may be moved to Campbelltown Hospital (we are currently at Liverpool) - this is a great step because it means she has come leaps and bounds with her being transferred out to Campbelltown (Level 3 nursery whereas Liverpool is a Level 5)... just waiting to see if I can either be discharged home or transferred over to Campbelltown with her... if I can't go home or go to Campbelltown then Caitlin will stay at Liverpool but not because she needs the Level 5 nursery!! So so so excited... I am hoping that my liver function tests are favourable and just need one more good blood sugar level for me - fingers crossed!!
Sorry to hear Brendan has not improved - hope the hydralite does it jobs and keeps him hydrated so he can get through this.
. I too had my DD due to PE complications @ 31+3. You will find (in no way am I defending the nurse) that the nurses you will encounter over your journey will vary from the downright nasty to the extremely sweet and totally understanding. I had a nurse similar to that and told her that whilst yes it was her JOB to enforce the hospitals policies and so on- I was DD's mother and the buck stopped with me. I wanted to know everything that was going on. Crying is good and I was always encouraged to do so, it is an emotional rollercoaster you have just been thrust upon. I was encouraged to ask as many questions that I could think of. So I encourage you to do the same. Knowledge is more power to you hun it will help you understand what lies ahead for you and you family.
Not defending her, just putting it into perspective. 
It's great that Caitlin is in an open cot, thats at least one hurdle out the way! She sounds like a true little champion 
Have the dr's given any idea as to how long she may be in for? I asked with Tristan (34+3) and was told roughly 10-14 days, depending on him. Ended up being 6 in SCN and 2 on the ward with me 
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