Hi Nay, I think seeing a counsellor to help you process your grief is a very good step. My son was in NICU 5 years ago now, and I still have "flash back" days where it hurts. I think you go into survival mode while you're actually neck-deep in the experience - our adrenalin kicks in and we go into cope mode.

When the crisis is over, our minds take over from our bodies and pull apart and analyse the experience we've been through. I think this is a normal part of the healing process... as long as you find ways of bringing the pain to the surface and release it (hence I think your idea of talking to someone is a great move).

Feel free to share your feelings and frustrations here, and we'll try to support you in whatever way we can.