Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - February 2010

Jo Those levels sound wonderful :dance:

Bun :happybirthday: lovely lady. I hope you are having a wonderful day.

Rach WOOHOO on being RAK'd. I was Rak'd by 2 people last year and I know who 1 lady was but still have no idea who the 2nd was although I do have a feeling she is from this lovely thread. The other one came from the PALTTTC Thread :)
I could not believe 2 people would be that kind to me.

Sequoia WOOHOO on fantastic results from your amnio too.Do you know the gender of bub or are you keeping that a surprise?

I'm feeling a bit anxious about my appointment tomorrow. I would like to that Willow and Michelle for the offers to come hold my hand but I really do think this is something I need to tackle on my own at this stage :hug:

Hi to everyone. I'd better go and do some stuff around here ie the dishes from last nights very late dinner :redface: Unfortunately the cleaning fairies didn't visit here last night or this morning while I was at work lol.

Mako - I know you need to do this solo. But it doesn't hurt to let you know you can have company JIC ;)

Well, I am absolutely knackered and could do with a few days sleep to catch up. Unfortunately I don't think it is likely :lol: Mum and Dad are still here and it looks like Dad is having more surgery on Friday. Nothing too significant. Just a specialised dressing to help the mangled skin heal. It is looking much better (although you would probably think it was still awful :D) but there is an area of skin loss near the ring finger.

This is Lily *helping* v vv '/.;

Anyway BBL when I have less *assistance* :D

Michelle - love the ticker hun, and how cute is Lily's assistance! I think i need to send her a big cyber cuddle :)

Mako - good luck sweets

Kelly - sorry hun, i hope that bfn turns into a bfp real quick!

Jo - those levels sound amazing sweety, i think all is well and your growing a nice and strong bubba

Seq - great news hun, you must be sooo relieved!

Janie - hope your well sweets xx

Bek - hope your well sweety and Eva is being good for you.

AFM - had the scan this morning, all is well with bubs, placenta etc etc - he seemed to think it was a case of bubs pushing on the same spot over and over again causing this agonising pain in my side. As for the c/s scar, well its perfectly 100% healed, so labour and vag birth, HERE I COME!!! Period type pain coming and going - OB happy about this too and keeps insisting I have my bag packed sooner rather than later. Bubs is average size, and should be around the same weight as miss A 7Ilbs and over. All in all good visit, and now down to weekly appts.

BBL to catch up with everyone else, must go and finish tidying up while miss a is still asleep

Lis xx

Hi lovelies....

Just a quickie to say Michelle I love your new ticker :dance: :clap: :lol: and Spring, your little man is exceptionally cute in your ticker!!! Jo, glad your levels are so good, here's hoping the next ones are too! Mako, hope your appointment brings some good info and plans your way. Kelly, hang in there babe, you might find yourself in a much better possie after your next AF, then you'll have such a better idea of where you are at. Sequoia, brilliant results for you too, how are you feeling? Janie & Lisa - how are our soon to be mums?? Jaynie, hope you are nice and ready for hubby's return!

Willow - how are you hon, is Mr D behaving himself yet at night? Flynn is currently being a very good boy, but we all know not to brag as this can change in a heartbeat !! One more question re. the mirena - how did you find yourself right after having the thing 'installed' !! Were you sore? My Obs rooms are about a 20 minute walk from my place, I usually walk there (if not the size of a large house) - question is would I be okay to walk home, or best to just drive and let things settle???

Deb - how are you lovely lady??

Jo - how did your Ob appointment go hon? Please let us know xoxo

AFM - not much at all - had a day at home which has bee nice to catch up on cleaning and cooking (oh yah :o) but these are the exciting things that make us happy lol. I'm worried miss Remy (17 months) might be dropping her day sleep - what age did your toddlers let that one go girls? This would be a complete tragedy - as she only has two speeds - FULL ON or OFF !!!!!!!!! Arrrggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi to everyone else!

Lee xoxo

Thanks guys.. I'm still a little disappointed and didn't realise just how much I wanted that second line to show up this morning. I'm feeling a bit like AF is on it's way, so we'll just wait and see. On a much brighter note (sorry, just have to brag for a minute).. DS was sooooo amamzing at daycare today. Gave me a big kiss goodbye this morning and was completely fine.. just ran off to play!!! Then, when I got there to pick him up.. he ran over and gave me the biggest cuddle... then wanted to keep playing!!! It took me half an hour to get him out the door, he wanted to stay!!!! Incredible. I'm so relieved and wish he was going more than just once a week - LOL. I got soooo much done too, lots of things are now crossed off the good old 'to do' list and the house is sparkling!!! I'm loving it.

Mako - Also just wanted to wish you all the best for your appointment.. I can't wait to hear how it goes. Big hugs and hope you manage to get a bit of sleep tonight!!

Lisa - Woo Hoo on the vbac... so exciting!!

Lee - I hate to say it but DS is only just dropping his day sleep now (he'll be 3 in May).. and the only reason he's stopping it is because we got rid of his dummy!! He'll still sleep in the car and slept at daycare today!!

Michelle - I can't imagine how tired you are.. hope you get some rest soon.. oh and I love your ticker too!!!! Exciting.

Janie - how are you today?

Big hello's to everyone else (sorry for the lack of personals). Just feel a bit flat and can't wait for DH to get home. I really wanted that BFP this morning.. timing wise, it's all going to get hard now.. with DH travelling and so many visitors coming to stay with us. Oh well, can't be helped. I just wish we had 'tried harder' this month now.

Kel xx

Lee - My DD1 didn't drop her day sleep until about 3 yrs, but having said that I know a few toddlers that have dropped it as early as 18 months...anything is possible!

Lisa - Glad your scan went well :) Sending you heaps of natural birth vibes....

Michelle - LOL at the "help"

Mako - Don't you hate that when the cleaning fairies don't visit LOL they are pretty hopeless around here too. Wishing you heaps and heaps of GL for tomorrow too, and will contact you real soon about that meet up :hug:

Jo - That HCG sounds excellent! Not to mention your symptoms - are you having another scan soon?

Kelly - Sorry about the BFN hun :hug:

Sequoia - Great news about the amnio :dance:

Rach - Sounds like a great photo shoot :) Your Evangeline sounds like my DD1 was with the sleeping too, she slept really deeply too. Even set off her monitor a few times and absolutely freaked us out.

Big :hello: everyone else, hope you are all well!

Well my gorgeous girl has gone back to her old sleeping habits over the last couple of nights....oh well, I knew it was too good to be true getting 6 hours straight! But she looks so cute in her Baby Legs that I got for her on Mon :) And she will be 6 months old tomorrow, how the time has flown! I'm going to start her on solids this weekend, but not kidding myself they will make any difference to her sleeping LOL

Michelle - nice ticker!!! :hug:

Mako - Have been thinking of you and your appt tomorrow all day. I understand you need to go alone, I was the same. Let me know if you have any last minute questions! Don't be nervous, he's a lovely man and super doctor!!

Lisa - Well done on a great appt and scan. Not long to go now hey?? Eeeeeeep!!

Kelly - :hug: Sorry for the BFN babe. We try and talk to ourselves rationally but it still hurts every time. Fingers crossed for next month (or a sneaky BFP in a few days time??)

Lee - D has improved slightly, bit hard to settle in the early evening but only up to feed him twice overnight atm which is an improvement :rolleyes: Mirena - I had no pain or discomfort at all after mine was put in. But I have heard lots of people have discomfort and slight cramping afterwards so to play it safe, I'd probably drive.

Megs - Bugger about the sleep! Was hoping at least one of us was getting a bit more shut eye, although D has improved a bit the last week or so. Having a bit of trouble trying to juggle his day naps, but have posted in our baby buds thread about that.

Sequoia - Congratulations on your great results!!

Jayney Jayne - You feeling better after your meltdown hun? Hope those girls of yours are treating you well.

As for us....nasty cold only lasted a few days thank goodness! Feeling pretty much back to normal today. Getting a bit more sleep at night the last week or so which is nice but our nights still leave a lot to be desired :rolleyes:

Took your advice on the TT and DS has been bare bummed most of the day and we've had two wees in the potty and no accidents (nappy on for nap and school runs though) :)

Michelle, what is the brand of the potty you used for O? I think ours is leaking (or I've forgotten how to empty it properly) so was thinking of getting a new one. I missed both wees and didn't know until after the fact, I like the idea of knowing when it happens so that he gets the gist of what's going on itms??

Better go, I have a little helper of my own who keeps trying to grab the keyboard!

Willow - it is one of the Fisher Price ones. Just plays music - not the one that talks to you or flushes :o Although I need to figure out why mine isn't playing music :think: And yes, I have changed the batteries :lol:

Hi All, I will be back tomorrow to do some persies

Just letting you all know that I am ok. Having a hard time with juggling 3 kiddlest at times, especially on next to no sleep. I've been to the doctor and she is running some tests. I have very bad allergies atm and I can't take anything for them because I am bfing. I'll probably have to do a desenitisation program that involves injections for 18 months but I can't be bfing apparently. Thanks for asking about me too

Lee : My DD has gone through patches where it looks like she was dropping her day sleeps. This started when she was about 18months old and we have a period of 4/5 days where she just won't sleep. I persisted in putting her down every day and made her stay on her bed. Quite a few times I had to sit at the end of her bed and wait until she settled and eventually she went back to having her day sleep. hth

Sorry, little time here, but just wanted to let BekZ know that a friend of mine had terrible allergies and has been going through a desensitisation process and is BF'ing her 11 month old, let me know if I can find out more from her. :hug:

Willow - glad the cold has left the building and that you are getting a little more sleep!

Megsmum - babylegs are so cute, good luck with the solids.

Lee - DS is 22 months and sleeps anywhere from 2.5 - 3.5 in the arvo, getting to sleep at night is a different story....

Lisa - you sound right on track! How exciting.

Mako - the very best of luck for your appt tomorrow, :hug: Gender is still unknown, well to us at least, in a sealed envelope which is driving me bananas. I want to know and DH doesn't and I'm hopeless with keeping things like that to myself, so it's unknown....for now.

x

:

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My DD has gone through patches where it looks like she was dropping her day sleeps. This started when she was about 18months old and we have a period of 4/5 days where she just won't sleep. I persisted in putting her down every day and made her stay on her bed.

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Lee - Sorry, I missed this before but ditto here. L did it the first time when he was about 18 months and we're having a bit of a funny patch at the moment. I keep persisiting and will do so until he is 3 because I think any younger than that and he NEEDS a sleep. DD was 3 and a bit when I let it go and she coped just fine. Some days he just lays in his bed for 2 hours and doesn't sleep, but I don't care because he is still having that down time - and so am I!

Bek - Glad to hear you are OK. Hope this rough time passes quickly :hug:

Mako - GOOD LUCK today!!! Can't wait to hear all about your appt.

I think my little man is getting my cold :( Lots of sneezing, coughing and a bit chesty. Last night was not fun but I ended up giving him some panadol at about 10pm and he then slept in blocks of 3.5 hours. Could be worse I guess but I'm reaching the point where I am OVER these night time antics.

Whoever asked about naps; Jett stopped napping at about 17mths. Occasionally I can get him too if he is real tired but otherwise its just cranks from about 2pm-bedtime. Ripley still daysleeps but he's starting to fight us on it soooooooo Im sure it wont be long before he's trying to give it up. Stellan day naps still obviously.

Its so quiet. Im not used to quiet. I dropped the kids at kindy early today because we had to get up at the crack of dawn (like 6am man I nearly died lol) to drive Ry to work because I needed to get a spouse ID for base. So I headed into Westfields after I dropped the boys off to cancel some laybys, had two (Im a guts :redface: ) breakie snack wraps from Maccas for breaskfast AND DIDNT SHARE! Then I was home by 10am. So now I should be packing and cleaning but Im sitting on my butt instead.

Went and saw our new little cutie pie puppy yesterday :D The boys were enamoured already; poor thing is going to be harrassed for the rest of her life if the way they hang off our friends two bulldogs is anything to go by. She is doing great; getting bigger everyday and already trying to walk around at only 11 days old! 6 more weeks til we can take her home. I think we're going to call her Caoimhe (Kee-va) its gaelic and means 'gentle, graceful, beautiful' which is funy because bulldogs are anything but graceful or beautiful :lol: Will put pics on FB once I get permission from our friends.

Anywho better stop procrastinating and do something productive like hang out washing, vacuum maybe even fold the 4 baskets of clothes sitting in my living room.............

Hi ladies,

sorry for lack of personals. My mummy just got some bad news, she's had tests on her breasts, as she found lumps. The doc just phoned her, his exact words were "it don't look good". Its all up in her Lymth nodes, think ive spelt that right. Anyway sorry to be a downer, just would like to know why does crap always happen to us??

Rach

Just a quick 1 from me as I need to be hitting the freeway.

Lee DS still has a nap anywhere between 2 and 3.5 hours every day. He needs it. He does wake up grumpy some afternoons but we just try to distract him and play etc. I like to have him in bed between 12:30 and 1pm. Any later he just won't sleep for as long.

Thanks for the texts girls. I'll pop back in later tonight if I get a chance.

Hope everyone is ok.

Oh Rach I'm sooooo very sorry to hear about your Mum. Big :hug: to you. I'll talk to you soon :comfort:

Oh no Rach, I'm so very sorry to hear that :hug: Thinking of you and your family....

I do know 2 ladies who have beaten breast cancer though, hoping your Mum will be the same :hug:

Rach... :hug: I hope things aren't as bad as they seem.

Mako - best of luck with Dr S today. It's hard to believe it's come up so quickly.

Well... sneaking in from work at the moment. Have a period of supervising senior students with free periods, and I'm a bit bored (and desperate for the loo!). Sam's cold is still lingering, DH got it but is over it. DH also seemed to get a round of gastro which fortunately only lasted 24 hours but really knocked him flat. They both seemed a bit better this morning but I've been feeling awfully guilty leaving them to come to work. Just generally feeling awful about work as I'm not really enjoying it yet and it's harder than I thought to leave my boy. I can see that things will improve, they just aren't improving yet.

Anyway, have been reading, but struggling to keep up, but I'm still here!

BW

Rach - :hug: :hug: :hug: I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. I wish there was more I could say... it's just not fair. Thinking of you and praying that your Mum is going to beat this.

Mako - I've been thinking about you all morning and hope the appointment goes well today. Looking forward to hearing all about it.

BW - :hug: It will get easier.

Freya - Wow.. what a morning!! The puppy sounds adorable.. how exciting!

Willow - Hope all the germs stay away!

Jayne - Hope you're feeling a bit better this week.

AFM - still no AF.. thinking I might torture myself a bit more and test again in the morning. LOL. I really hate this! Thankfully DH is home tonight.

I went on a spider blits out the front of our house last night and this morning, there are dead bugs and spiders EVERYWHERE.. it's so disgusting!! I'm so glad I did it though because there were HEAPS of massive red back spiders in our gate (and lots of them at DS's level). Scary! Now I just need to get DH to get rid of all the spider webs!

Kel xxx

Oh Rach :hug: We've just recently been through this with my MIL. She's finishing up her last chemo this month. If you want to chat pm me anytime ok?

Ooooh! We have spider issues at our place too, Kelly. Back in December I went nuts with a can of surface spray and wiped out a redback spider colony that was around our bins. A couple of mornings ago I was watching a spider through the bathroom window and noticed a red flash - the HUGEST redback I've ever seen... and where there's one there's always more. DH got the professional DIY outdoor treatment stuff, but has been too sick to do anything with it since. Hoping that he can get to it soon - the thought of Sam being bitten is just horrifying.

BW

Rach: I'm so sorry you Mum has had bad news. I hope she gets well super quick :comfort:

O is almost 2.5 and has 2 - 3 hour nap each day. I hope he doesn't want to drop it anytime soon because it's my relax time.

Freya: how exciting about the puppy. I love bulldogs.

Kelly: good luck with the test

BBL to finish persies

Rach: i'm so sorry to hear of your news :hug:

Mako: all the best for your appt with Dr S :hug:

As far as naps go, Sophie goes down between 12-1pm and will usually sleep for 2hrs, i dred the day she drops a day sleep altogether, it give me a chance to get things done around the house or grab a quiet shower.

AFM: I went up at lunch time to have the 2nd blood test done, the lady that took the blood today wasnt as bad as the lady i got on Monday, she even commented on the lovely bruise i had. So just need to wait until after 2pm to ring the pathology lady to see if they have my results and whether or not she can give them to me. Then i went to Target and picked up a pair of shortish leggings for $15 none of my 3/4 jeans fit right already.

Mako - All the best today. I am thinking of you

Rach - I am so so sorry that your mum is faced with this. Please keep us updated and a big hug to you

Freya - Wow a new pup. Sara is desperate for a puppy, but I am not up to the challenge of a newborn again lol

Kelly- Fingers crossed hun. I got a BFP 4 weeks after my DandC. I tested and got a BFN and then waited 2 days and got a BFP.

Bonham - All the best for your test results.

Lisa - I am so glad that your scan went well. Go the VBAC!!! I can't wait to meet all the new bubs!!!

Sequio - Thanks for the information. If you can get any other info that would be great. My doctor doesn't seem to know much about the desentisation process. I was the one that told her I wanted it done because it was recommended to me years ago by another doctor. I am so glad that your amnio results were good.

Megsmum - Happy 6 months to you little miss. I hope she starts sleeping longer again

Willow - Good on Mr L and his tt. I hope Mr D is ok and that you get some more sleep too. Eva has started doing the odd 4 or 5 hours stint at night. Day sleeps are still really really bad. Atm I can only manage to get her down for 1 sleep:wall:

Did I miss anything??? So sorry if I did. Hugs to all

Ohhhhh Bek yeah dont do the whole puppy thing til Miss Eva is older. I would have put it off just a bit longer but a unique opportunity came up and now is the time to do it before Uni gets full on so I have time to puppy train.

I had to go pick Stellan up from daycare early because he vomitted everywhere and it was phlegmy. He isnt coughing or rattly in the chest; he hasnt even got a runny nose so I have zero idea why he would be spewing phlegm. Its only started since he's been having formula at daycare. Just my luck it would be a lactose issue, although I would think he would have it even being breastfed cause I eat and drink just about everything.

Anyway enough of my rambling, he is asleep and the other lads are engrossed watching Prehistoric Park so I might get cracking on dinner. Lamb steaks, mashed potato and green vegies.

Hi guys, look, I have a avvy! Woohoo!!! I love it!

Bek - sorry to hear you sounding down. It must be so hard raising three kids - I take my hat off to you! I hope your littlies let you get more sleep soon.

mako - hope the appointment went well today. I can't wait to hear about it! Hopefully he has a perfect plan for you.

Freya - wow, not long til uni starts now!!

Jo - do you have any results yet?

rach - I am so sorry to hear about your mum sweetie. I also know a couple of people who have beaten it. Big hugs hun. When does your mum find out more?

Hi to everyone else, sorry for no more persies. Finding it hard to get time to get anything done at the moment! DS is such a good boy though - other than when he has gas and gets upset, he pretty much just eats and sleeps! He is such a darling and so far DD is the most lovely big sis. Any time he cries she calls out 'Dummy!' and goes to find his dummy and puts it in his mouth for him. She wantts to kiss and cuddle him all the time and TRIES to be gentle, although being a pretty unco toddler she rarely manages this! Mum and Dad are great - keeping DD entertained while I feed DS and we are taking it in turns to do dinner which is a wonderful break. They leave on Sun though so not sure how things will fare then!

Why do I do this to myself?? Still no AF so tested again this morning... of course it was another BFN.. which I should of expected but I'm still really upset. It would be miracle to be pg again already but somehow my stupid brain almost 'expects' it and is not very happy with the BFN. I just wish AF would hurry up and arrive so I can remove all aspects of 'hope' that I somehow still have left. God, this is going to be one very hard and tough journey! I'm so thankful that I have all of you and I'm sorry for the selfish post... I know there are much 'bigger' issues in here atm and feel really silly and selfish sometimes... so I'm really sorry for that... I'm just a little bit upset.

Thanks for understanding.

Kel xxx

Kel - there are no bigger issues :hug: Every issue is big because it is yours - and that is how it should be!! Don't downplay how you feel because you think, in the scheme of things, it is insignificant. It isn't and it is a tough journey whether it is one cycle or ten :hug: When you want to be pregnant, nothing eases the feeling. We understand that :comfort: Vent away and let us support you xx

Kel, :hug: I think that I went through 2 boxes of hpt's this past cycle. It was such a let down when AF arrived even after a bunch of BFN's.
Don't give up all hope for this cycle just yet. I had decided that AF was on her way before Grayson. I had even decided on no more hpt's for that cycle. When AF was 2 days late I got an unexpected surprise.

Hi lovely ladies,

Sorry I haven't been around, particularly after all the wonderful support you've been giving me. I'm not quite sure what my problem is, I've come in to post a number of times, but end up not knowing what to say. And I very selfishly don't have it in me to do personals right now :redface: (although I am reading, and empathising/sharing joy with you all :)). We're going along well, bub is being active enough for everyone's liking, which is great. And I'm very excited to be technically 32 weeks (although according to my dates, that's not until Sunday or Monday). Really realising what a long way we have to go now, but I am feeling a great deal more positive than I was :). It's pretty likely that we will get to 34 weeks now, and possibly even further along, which is fantastic. But we still probably won't get our take home baby, and I think I'm struggling with that.

Anyway, enough whinging from me :lol:, just wanted to say thanks for all your support, and that I'm still here, just haven't been able to post. :hug: to all.

ETA Kelly, I'm feeling bad, that maybe I put too much pressure on you the other night about testing.........I know I warned you that I'm no help LOL, but I really hope I didn't make things harder for you. It was lovely to talk, I hope you're feeling good now that DH is home :).

Kel - Hugs sweat pea. Wow you've been through so much hun. I understand your pain and don't ever think that your challenges seem insignificant. I completely understand what you are feeling. All I can say is be kind to yourself and vent here as much as you need.

Janie - I was just thinking about you and wondering where you are. I thought that you may be just taking time out to reflex and prepare. I feel from the bottom of my gut that you'll make 34weeks. Rest up and pop in when you feel, we all love you:) Don't feel that you are being selfish either, it is important for you to take time away

Janie - Glad you are feeling more positive :hug: Make sure you take it easy I wouldn't be worrying about posting too much if I were you either, rest and take care of yourself and bub.

Kel - Stupid AF :( I had that happen a few times to me too and it is awful when you try to hold out that little bit of hope only to have her arrive :hug: I think it is only natural to want to be pg ASAP after a m/c, what you are feeling is totally normal. Its cetainly the way I felt, and I was devastated that it took so long for me to fall pg again :( I'm sure it will happen soon for you :hug:

Bek - I'm sorry to hear about your allergies, sounds awful. I hope you can find a solution to them.

Mako - I hope yesterday went OK ? :hug:

Jo - GL with the BT results today!

Bun - Love the avvy!

Hi everyone else hope you are all OK today.

Well I'm feeling a bit worried today and just need to get it out so bear with me if this is a bit jumbled. I got a call from my stepmum last night - her and my Dad are in Sydney having radiation treatment because Dad has sinus cancer :( Anyway he had to be admitted to hospital because he has had too much of his blood thinning medication, even though he took the correct dose they don't seem to know why his BTs are so high :wall: He is on them because he had a blood clot after the surgery to remove the cancer - it was fairly major surgery and he has a history of blood clotting. I'm just so worried though that because he is being looked after by so many sets of drs in Sydney and back here and no one seems to be able to give them an answer, my stepmum is no pushover but even she complained to me last night about getting fobbed off grrrrr. Not to mention how tough it is on them both being down there away from home, I think they are both absolute legends for soldiering on through this like they have. It will be so good when the next couple of weeks are over and they are finished with it all and hopefully can go back to their normal life. Anyway fingers crossed she can get some answers out of the oncologist on Monday.

Hey everyone,

well the OB appointment went well, knowing my history, the first thing he did was a scan. There was bub, heart beating away, the only thing that worried me was it wasnt moving much, just the odd jerk & a few waves of the hand, but the OB wasnt worried about that.

He looked up my results from when Finn was born & It appears that the only suspicious thing they could find was that the placenta showed signs of not having received enough oxygen, so he will be doing growth scans all the way through.

so, so far so good, will find out more at my morf scan

Hope everyone is well :)

Thanks so much guys.. I honestly don't know what I would do without every single one of you... now I'm crying again (but a good cry.. because I'm actually reminded that there are people out there that care and that know exactly what I'm going through.. it's easy to forget that)!

I just don't feel like myself atm.. I try to put on a 'happy, strong and positive' front but that's all it is and when I get home again, I feel like a bit of a wreck! I know thats normal too.. I just wish I had my Mum nearby so I could go veg at her place and get some much needed cuddles! I'm forgetting that I've had to deal with not only the recent losses but moving interstate aswell... it's tough. I'm finding it hard to not think about where I would be now.. if I hadn't of lost the baby back in August. I really need to move on from that though. I just hate feeling this way.. I miss my happy, carefree and bubbly self... I hate feeling miserable and sorry for myself, it really sucks.. and I'm trying to make friends.. they're all going to think I'm mad.

Anyway I'm rambling again now. Really just wanted to say a very big thank you from the bottom of my heart... I really couldn't get through this without you all.

Kel xxx

kelly - you really are facing a lot atm hun. It is a really big deal moving states and to endure a loss as well at the same time is really really tough. I think you are doing a great job of getting through things and I can't wait for you to get a sticky BFP! I remember also not feeling like myself after my losses and just wanting to get back to the happy person I used to be. I did get there though and you will too! It feels like it will never happen at the time, but it will and in the meantime we are here for you to 'talk' to whenever you need to.

Jo - do you have your results yet?

jlk - fantastic scan hun, that's great news!! Often bubs is just having a sleepy time so I wouldn't worry about there not being much movement during the scan. It is all sounding good and I am so pleased to hear it!!

mako - how did your appointment go? Can't wait to hear what he told you.

Janie -so glad to hear that bubs is doing so well. Sounds like he/she may be staying in there a little longer which is great news!

Well I just had Josh's check up and he is a little porker! Is putting on around 400g a week! I think I can actually SEE him growing it is happening so fast. I am pleased that he is doing so well but I also want him to stay my little baby and at this rate he will be all grown up soon! Sniff sniff.

Ugh Stellan has tonsilitis *sigh* Right before I start Uni too. The Gp assured me he would be ok by tuesday to go to daycare but I have to have a letter stating that before I can soooooooo now Ry will have to get monday off work to watch them and take him to the GP so I can get the letter. Seems thats why he is vomitting mucous and stuff.

Anywho better go do some more packing and tidying for the house viewing tomorrow.

Kelly :hug: if its important to you its important to us!

Bun WOOHOO on J's growth. That is a fantastic effort :clap:

Freya Poor Stellan. I hope the A/B's kick in soon and he's feeling much better. All the best for Tuesday too. Can't wait to hear all about it.

jlk Fantastic news on your appointment. How far along are you?

Jo Any news yet?

Kelly :hug: to you hun. I could have written that post many times now too since my last m/c. I also felt the need to test around the 4 week mark but for me AF arrived 5 weeks to the day. My cycles are usually between 4 and 5 weeks now and have been since they came back after having DS.
I wish I was closer to you to give you a RL hug.

Rach How are you doing today? I don't have any wise words but want you to know I'm here if you ever want to chat or sit and cry or whatever you feel the need to do :hug:

Megsmum OMG I'm sorry to hear your Dad is having treatment for cancer. I hope everything works out perfectly for him :hug:

Janie I'm so happy you've made it to 32 weeks. Bring on 34 I say. Please don't feel bad for not posting. You have far more important things to worry about ;)

Willow How is D? I hope he didn't end up getting a cold.

Michelle Thanks again for the messages yesterday. I love your ticker too btw.

Sorry I didn't log on last night but I came home and was exhausted and had/ have a terrible headache. I can't say too much just yet but the appointment was ok. He's ordered some b/ts and I have to go back to see him again in a month. I'll fill you all in once I've spoken to DH.

P.S Sydney girls......I'm coming down to Kogorah(sp) on Monday for a b/t and was hoping we might be able to catch up. I know its short notice and all but I'm willing to travel to wherever suits if you are interested..Just let me know :)

Mako - Glad to hear the appointment went well and will look forward to hearing all about it. I've been wondering how it went!!

Jo - Am also getting very worried about you.. have you got your results yet.. I'm praying for some more good news... please let us know what's going on!!

Freya - Oh no.. tonsilitis.. poor thing! Why do things like this always happen at the worst possible time! All the best for Monday too.. in case I forget to say it over the weekend!

Bun - Glad your little man is chubbing up!! Great news.

Sorry again for the lack of personals.. I'm just not in the right head space right now. Well.. it's definitely all over this month (I don't know why I'm surprised).. AF is definitely on the way now.. which in turn of course means more tears. Thankfully DS is asleep. Why can't this one thing just happen for me NOW! To make it worse, I just looked up the dates for next cycle.. based on AF arriving tomorrow.. which it will... and O day is of course while DH is away (he's away for 4 days early in March). Wonderful.. there goes another month.. then we'll be looking at a Christmas baby, which I really wanted to avoid.. we have big plans to go back to Perth for Christmas, seen as we weren't with our family last Christmas. I'm not a happy camper. I really NEEDED it to happen now... why couldn't it happen now...

Hey Ladies,

Can i share some more good news with you all?

My HCG levels from yesterday's blood test were 72,000 (47,000 on Monday)

Freya: so sorry to hear Stellan is sick, hope he is better soon :hug:

Mako: i'm glad your appointment went ok :hug:

Kelly: BIG :hug:

Hello to everyone else :D

Sorry for not writing anymore im just a little nervous and excited that my HCG levels have risen

Bonham - Are you feeling a bit more confident now?? It's hard I know, the first few weeks are so, so hard. Hang in there, you're doing well :hug:

Kelly - :hug: It's such a tough time, I remember all too well how it feels. That 12 months TTC after our loss was pretty much the darkest time in my life. Unfortunately, I wasn't so great at putting on a brave face :redface: Just remember to keep talking to us, we all truly understand how this feels and want to help you through it :hug:

MM - Hope your dad is sorted and home again soon. How far from Sydney do they live?

Freya- Hope Stellan is on the mend. Apart from Spring's little man, I've never heard of a little one like him getting it?? My brother used to have it chronically as a kid and teenager and even now as an adult gets it about once a year. We grew up in that phase when drs pretty much refused to remove tonsils. Anyhoo, am sure you won't have to worry about any of that, that was a bit of a tangent...sorry! LOL.

Mako - You have to go all the way to Kogarah for a blood test??!! Did you ask him if you can have it done somewhere closer to home? That's what I used to do.

I have an appt on Monday, but I may be able to change it if everyone else can make it.

BBL, kids doing my head in and DH going to training (again) tonight.