Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

[Michelle71]

Deb - are you on anticoagulants?? And do you mean a headache in the literal term or the high BP being a headache?!?!?! Just a little concerned ...... And yes - being a nurse guarantees *issues*

[Sequoia]

Hello everyone, after lurking for a loooong time, I've decided to put myself out there. The crunch was when I read about mako and Kelly's MC's and had tears in my eyes and realised that I feel like I know you all but you don't know me....yet.

My former name was Shoegal so I know some names from PAML threads, namely Freya, mako, Bun and possibly Willow.

I have a beautiful 21 month old DS and are TTC #2, I'm doing OI after my FS asking us not to wait too long after my second MC last July as my FSH is kind of high (possibly early menopause).

Anyway, I've bit the bullet and look forward to chatting with you all. Oh, and I'm in WA, a couple of hours south east of Perth.

xx

[~Jayne~]

DEB _ You scare me woman! Don't go having a stroke!! Stop scaring me, I'm having enough issues sleeping already!

KELLY _ I have just PM'd you my mobile number & work number cos I'm at work tomorrow so I won't get online to be able to confirm our playdate on Thur. eeeek I'm very excited!

SEQUOIA _ Welcome & thank you for joining us. I'm sorry of your MC but am excited to learn more about your little DS!!! I'm in Perth as well, Waikiki actually - & you?

MAKO _ Bugger with the POAS, I really thought I was onto something there. Are you feeling run down? Maybe you are just very drained with the weather & the MC & the whole emotional stuff as well? There isn't much of you, so please look after you!

BONHAM _ Can't wait to hear more POAS stories in the morning! Maybe this is the light at the end of the tunnel for us all!

WILLOW _ So sorry about your Nan, she can't seem to take a trick, I wish I could help somehow!

Good night from a very hot & sweaty Jayne! Cleaned house all day, then walked Banjo & took the kids to the park after dinner & then rowed & cycled 12km total watching the tennis. I should sleep well tonight! Did you see Bec's hair tonight? I'm so trying that on Jessica tomorrow! LOL

Love Jayne xx

[Willow]

Michelle - Thank you I just spoke to mum, they've kept her in and she needs to have a CT done today. My aunty has offered to mind my little monsters so I can go in and see her but I'm assuming she'll be on the ward by now.

Sequoia - I definitely remember you! I'm glad you've come to join us. I look forward to getting to know you a bit better and sharing your ttc journey.

Mako - I was thinking about not telling you what she said because the end bit you'll love, but there's another bit you won't love so much I think I'll PM you now babe to put you out of suspense! Sorry about the BFN But you know, I think you're right about trying to sort some stuff out first before you jump back on the rollercoaster Always here for you.

Deb - Please take care of yourself. I hope you're feeling better soon.
I had a decent amount of sleep last night (despite the boy waking three times to be fed *sigh*) but I still feel like a zombie today. I've had a pretty emotional few days, so maybe I'm just feeling a bit drained.

Best be off, I've got to get everyone organised to go down to my grandmother's place.

[nicjay]

Hi everyone,

Sorry, I haven't posted much since I got back from our holiday. A combination of another attack of the shys , not knowing what to say when everyone is having a rough time, a baby who is not sleeping much at night and an older girl on school holidays - seeing as she starts school soon I feel like I should spend a bit of extra time with her KWIM?

Anyway, I just wanted to post quickly and say to everyone who needs it. Will try to post a bit more often from now on.

Talk again soon xo

[Bun]

Hi guys, I'm home! We got home yesterday but it took me ages to read through all the posts and I am only just finding the time to post myself! Sounds like a lot of you are having a pretty rough time of things at the moment, so

Kelly, I am so sorry to hear about your m/c, that is terrible news. I am glad you have had your family around to support you. Good on you for heading into the pool, I think that's fine if the bleeding has almost stopped anyway. And looking at the weather in Perth I think it is way too hot to not be swimming! How are you feeling now?

Spring - a midwife in hosp told me that on a hot day a breastfed bub will want to feed pretty much constantly, so I would say that is normal!

Deb - you relax girl, don't let that silly silly man get your BP up, he is not worth it! I know things must be so hard right now, but try to find some time to yourself, you need it. What part of Vic are you thinking of moving to?

Willow - so sorry to hear about your nan, I hope this infection passes soon.

mako - how are you feeling today? Thank you so much for all your text messages of support, they were much appreciated!

Janie - I need some BFing advice from you. I have a really big lump on one boob, it is not really sore but quite big and has been there for about three days. I am feeding heaps on that boob, massaging when feeding and in the shower, using a heat pack, everything I can think of yet it just won't go away! I don't know what else to do and really don't want to get mastitis, that is the last thing I need right now! Do you have any advice? I feel fine other than the lump itself.

megsmum - don't be shy, just post away. Everyone is really friendly in here so don't worry!

sequoia - good to see you in here! Of course I remember you! Sorry to hear about your loss, I hope to hear that you are UTD again in no time! And we are all here for you during the stressful times, we understand what it is like so pop in anytime.

Jo - I will be waiting to hear on Friday when you test next!

Well I am so glad to be home but am feeling very sore and sorry for myself. I will post a proper birth story when I find the time but thought I would give you all a brief rundown of what happened. Basically, my waters were broken in the morning and I had til lunchtime for labour to start on its own otherwise the drip would start. Thankfully labour started on its own and hard and fast right on lunch time! I coped really well with the pain this time, I think it helped enormously being able to move around and not being strapped to the bed as I was last time. I had a fantastic midwife who was encouraging me and suggesting different positions etc and the shower (which was the BEST relief!) and my 4.30pm I was fully dilated. That's where things went horribly wrong! I had started pushing (and apparently my OB thought he would miss the whole thing because I had been doing so well - he thought bub would be out no worries in 4 or 5 pushes) but then my little man decided to turn posterior, really far down and got totally stuck. The back pain was excruciating, I have never experienced that kind of pain. It made a normal labour and birth seem like a breeze! After a while the back pain was so bad that I could barely even feel the contractions or the urge to push, I was just writhing around in agony. I couldn't even be properly examined because I couldn't stay still with the pain. I think I strained every muscle in my body writhing around so much and it was totally uncontrollable!

They tried getting me to lie on one side to get bubs to turn back but he was totally stuck and I just couldn't stay still. I thought I was going to die! They then tried putting in the drip in case my contractions just weren't strong enough to push the bub out, but I was begging them not to because I knew the contractions were strong enough, but bubs wasn't going anywhere! I had pushed as hard as I could over and over and he wouldn't even budge. Then I freaked out as they couldn't find his heartbeat, but it turns out he was fine. They just weren't sure exactly what position he had turned to and were looking in the wrong place for the heartbeat. Eventually I was told they were just going to get an anaesthetist so I could have some pain relief. What they were actually doing was getting a theatre ready and organising a spinal block for a forceps delivery and possible caesar. I remember screaming at them where is the anaesthetist, I need him here NOW!! I was totally hysterical and it seemed like the longest wait in the world. Finally they were ready (it had been about 2 hours since they had realised the labour had become obstructed, so a fairly long wait but it felt like a lifetime!). They told me to lie on the bed so I didn't fall off while they wheeled me in but I literally couldn't move with the pain. Then it took forever to get the spinal in, they had to have about three goes and I had three people holding me down while they did it during contractions.

Thankfully they were able to get Joshua out with the forceps at 8.09pm, although they used so much force I could feel my body being pulled down the bed repeatedly while they pulled him out. Apparently it is very rare for a bub to turn the way he did at the time he did and the OB wasn't sure exactly where he was for a while there. He was so stuck that they couldn't turn him and then pull him out, they just had to take him out where he was. I have stitches going about as far as possible and can't sit down, and I have been told the recovery is similar to that of a caesar, ie - no heavy lifting for 6 weeks etc so I am not quite sure how I am going to manage that with a toddler!

Gees, I just wrote way more than I meant to. Anyway, all is well now, but I think it is going to take a while to get over the birth both physically and emotionally. I really wanted to labour drug free and can't believe how close I was and how well I was doing, only to end up with a spinal block! Even seeing my baby for the first time was like a caesar - there was a sheet up and I got a quick look before he was whipped away for ages. He was always fine but it was really not the start I was hoping for! He feeds like a champ and has gained weight so is doing really well, so now I just need to come to terms with what happened! I have also been told that next time I should just get an epidural early on in case the same thing happens, which ruins any chance of a drug free birth!

[Bun]

Oh, and for those of you on facebook, I now have some pics up and more on their way. If anyone isn't a facebook friend and wants to see the pics, PM me your details and I will add you.

Sorry again for such a long post.

[BekZ]

Hi All,

Bun - Welcome home. Your bubba buy is beautiful. Sounds like you had a rough time delivering J. Are you ok? How is Miss C?

Deb - Look after yourself. I hope you get you bp sorted.

meg - Hi. Enjoy your time with your DD.

Jayne/Janie - Thanks for asking about me. I think I am on top of things and the teary feelings have gone for now. We are working on Miss Eva's complete dislike of sleep. Thankfully my DH has stepped into help a bit.

Willow - Hugs re your nan. I just know that you'll have another bub. I've had that feeling for ages lol. I would like to see another psychic, but I am waiting for one to come to me, then I'll know they are the right person and the right time.

Sequoia - Hi and welcome. Sorry to hear about your loss.I definitely remember you

Sorry if I missed anyone. hugs to all

[butterfly_warrior]

*sigh*

Went to the paed today. Have to go back again in 6 months. It appears that one of Sam's testicles has only partially descended and he may need surgery to correct it. Paed suggested we wait another 6 months and keep watching and if it's still not right then, he will refer us to a surgeon.

However, he did say that if we were really worried he would give us a referral now.

I don't know if I'm just being paranoid after going through so much with IVF to get Sam... I don't want him to face similar troubles in the future, but I also don't want to put him through unnecessary surgery. Don't know what to think and DH isn't answering his phone.

BW

[Inanna]

Bun my love what an experience you poor honey...
I do know posterior labours are hellish - my DD1 was posterior & all labours after that have seemd heaavenly!

I hope you recover well... In case you are interested.
I have a remedy for healing a peri -
comfrey, calendula & chammomile...
Wrap equal parts in muslin (good hand fulls) and steep them in a really hot bath.
Add celtic sea salt as well..

It really does help to heal more quickly. Also adding fresh aloe vera plant onto your pad against the area...

Thinking of you darling

[mako]

Bun Welcome home hun. I'm sorry you had such a traumatic labour. I'm so happy that little Joshua is doing really really well though. I hope you rest up and recover as quickly as you possibly can

Willow Now you've got me wondering even more I'm so keen to "hear" what the lady said to you

BW Sorry to hear about Sam. Hopefully he won't need surgery and things will develop on their own

Sequoia Its great to see you've found us once more. I too remember you although I'm sorry to learn of your loss too. I hope you are UTD very soon. How is DS doing?

Michelle Have been thinking of you often.

Janie How are you doing?

Jayne You are so sweet but I had to giggle when you said that there's not much of me..Did you have your eyes half closed when we met I do think I'm very run down due to a combination of a lot of things atm. I'm sure with time I'll pick up again though.
You are a super woman doing all that rowing and riding Good on you.

Bek How is everything going with you? Has Miss Eva started sleeping a bit better?

Spring B sounds like he's doing great. I remember Sage feeding all the time in the hot weather when he was a little bubba. How is Ollie going?

[LisaL]

hi girls,

Sorry Ive been MIA but i have been following your posts, just got a lot going on here atm and some issues that need sorting..

Janie sounds like your OB has a good plan and I hope you get way past 32 weeks.

Bun - your a star!! I had a posterior labour with DD but in the end needed c/s because of the way she was stuck. Wishing you a speedy recovery xx

Big hello to everyone else, no time right now for personals

Quick AFM - going well, next OB appt next week, bub moving around nicely, lots of pain in my pelvic and pubic region and lots of period type pain but not as strong as a typical BH. Miss A doing well, so well in fact, she told me the other day that she was 'awesome'. Anyhow, gotta fly but ill try and pop in tomorrow for real personals.

Thinking of you all

Lis xx

[JCE0810]

Welcome back to megsmum & Sequoia.

BONHAM _ Can't wait to hear more POAS stories in the morning! Maybe this is the light at the end of the tunnel for us all!

Jayne: I sure hope this is a step in the direction of the light at the end of the tunnel, surely the luck has to change in here at some point. No more POAS stories for today, but i'll have 1 for you on Friday

Sequoia: so sorry to hear of your loss, best of luck TTC

Mako & Kelly: I'm sorry if my news upsets you i know it's not easy

Deb: i hope you can get your BP sorted

Bun: so good to hear that you & Joshua are home, so sorry you had a traumatic birth, rest up as much as you can I'll be sure to post on Friday to let you all know what the HPT says.

BW: hope Sam doesnt need the surgery and things will sort themselves out on their own

Michelle: how are you doing

Hope everyone else is well

AFM: today i found out a friend who was due the same time i had DD is UTD again, will be awesome to share the pregnancy experience together again. I'm just hanging out for Friday so i can test again. No news to report, just trying to hang out until Friday to test again as i dont want to waste the last HPT i have in the house but i'll buy more on Friday if i need them or i'll just go to the doctor.
Finally got around to joining the local library and borrowed a heap of books to read, my younger sister thinks i'm crazy but i know i'll read them all in 4 weeks. I bought a 2nd birthday card for Sophie & wrapping paper to wrap Sophie's birthday presents plus i bought a few extra things to wrap up 2 lots of hairties and a box for the hairties to be stored in, plus whatever else we've already bought her. So we've had a productive day.

[kellym]

Jo - Good luck for Friday!! Thanks for thinking of me (and Mako) but honestly, your news is not upsetting for me.. I'm thrilled for you. It's something about those that have been through what we're going through now that makes it all ok. IYKWIM?

Lisa - Hope everything is ok hun?

BW - I'm praying that all will be ok with Sam.. try not to worry too much until your next appointment in 6 months (I know it's not going to be easy)!

Mako - How are you going and what ended up happening with your boss?

Bun - OMG... what a terrible time you had. Big hugs and hope the recovery isn't too bad. Sounds like you did an absolutely amazing job and I'm so pleased to hear that Joshua is going so well. I'm going to pop onto FB now and have a look at the pics!! Exciting!

Big hello's and hugs to everyone else.

Nothing new here.. just extremely busy catching up with everyone before we head back to Melb on Sunday morning. It's going to be hard leaving again. I'm feeling ok about everything I think and really just want to get on with it. Hanging out for AF so we can start the ttc journey again. DH and I decided we're not going to wait any longer than that this time. Although we've got an appointment with our OB in Melb next week, so I guess we need to see what she wants to do too.

Kel xxx

[Freya]

I got to see our resident SuperNurse and her very own SuperDoctor in action today They looked a fetching pair in their colour coordinating scrubs lol Thankyou again Michelle for helping us out; you really do spoil use girls with your knowledge and good heart. You should be cannonized and made a saint

Bun - oh my lordy you are my new hero. Well done on a supreme birthing effort. I saw your pics; Joshua is gorgeous and Catherine looks the proud big sister to a T

[butterfly_warrior]

Oh Freya! Not one of the boys again? Hope you guys are all in one piece.

Still stressing over Sam's bits... and feeling all kinds of freaky because of it! Starting to think that getting the referral now would be a plan - just for my peace of mind.

Bun - amazing effort with your birth! My labour was only posterior in the early stages, but that was hard enough! Saw your pics on FB (briefly - haven't had time to go into detail with them yet) - he's a gorgeous little boy!

BW

[Freya]

Just a second opinion on Jetts "chicken pox" which turns out was a pretty bad viral rash prob caused by a bug. So now I dont have to hide at home anymore lol

[Lee]

Holy cow girls - you are all busy in here. Only had time for a brief catch up.

Deb - how's your BP now? Mine remained up post-birth and I'm on medication to at least control it - I still feel 'strange' though. Keep a very close check on yourself, it's not a good scenario. Hugs xo

Bun - I so feel for you - my first 3 labours were all posterior, and like Deb said, a "normal" labour is like a walk in the park in comparison. You poor thing, I really hope you are some support at home (and real support iykwim) while you are recovering from such a difficult labour, whilst managing a newborn and toddler. How are you feeling?

Michelle - how are you hon, okay?? xox

Sequoi - I remember you Shoegal. Sorry to hear you lost a precious little one. Really glad you are lurking no longer, and have shown your face you are very welcome. You will be utd again in no time, and we are all here to share the rollercoaster ride that pregnancy after a loss is.

Spring - How's your little man? Flynn is 90% bottlefed, my milk supply still low, but am on Maxalon which has helped - at this stage I'm just happy he gets a bit of boob milk. You are doing a great job with baby B, well done! I'd so love to put our boys together, I think they would be SO cute!!

A big warm hello to everyone else, sorry I haven't done more personals - I know there's some pain in this thread. Hang in their girls, at least we have each other.

AFM - bl....dy AF showed up today - 7 weeks after birth - I'm like "oh bu'''gger" off, I'm not ready to deal with all that again.

Willow - can I gently ask you about your experience with Mirena - my Ob gave me a script for one, and now that AF is here, I'm really going to need to deal with birth control sooner rather than later. Much as I'd love another baby, there's no nanny/chef/cleaner/taxi driver at my place (other than me!!!) - so alas, thats it for me!

Hugs to everyone!

Lee xoxoxoxo