Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

[Willow]

Lee /Mako - I promise I'll be back tomorrow to fill you in but I am just so tired I"m about to fall down. Been at my grandmothers and at the hospital most of the day and only just got home and put the kids to bed. DH is out so it's been a looooong day. Mako I did send you a PM this morning before I left but it didn't go through

My mum wants me to go to the drs cause I'm so, so tired all the time and have been having headaches and dizzy spells on and off. I'm sure it's nothing but I'm feeling completely wiped out the last few days.

BBL after some sleep.

[Michelle71]

Freya - it really was nothing. A 5 second check so you can be at one with the world again

You should be cannonized and made a saint

I don't think so!!!! Far from saintly here

And Superdoctor said the bills in the mail He was amused with his title too LOL

Just home from work. I have done more foetal heart rates over the past few shifts than I have done for a while It is typical. Having said that, Omar is bouncing around happily so there are some bonuses!!

Tired - will chat more tomorrow xx

[Janie]

OMG, gone for one day and so much to catch up on! I really don't think I'm going to get through everyone tonight, apologies. I might have to come back for seconds tomorrow!

Bun, wow, what a super effort my dear! I know that very back pain you're talking about, it is excruciating. Horrible, terrible, can't-stay-still pain. Sounds like you did a marvellous job to get through like you did . Take it easy hun, and be kind to yourself. It will probably feel like awhile until you're recovered......but you will get there. Deb's remedy sounds lovely.....I would be doing whatever you can hun to help move your recovery along faster. As for your lump........it sounds as though you're doing all of the right things . The only other suggestions I would have for you are to feed using gravity........so getting on hands and knees on your bed, or somewhere comfy (!!!) and lying J down underneath you to feed. And otherwise, positioning him with his chin pointing towards the lump, if that makes sense. So if the lump is on the outside of your breast, you would need to use something like the football (underarm) hold when feeding. Persistent lumps can often be helped with ultrasound therapy (some physios do this). Are you an ABA subscriber? If you live where I think you do, there is a super-active group in your town, and Barb (who is the LC on here) runs it I think. I'm sure they would love to see you there. You don't have to be a member when you first turn up, you're welcome to go and see whether you like it or not first, a couple of times if you like . Group meetings are usually super-toddler friendly too . Or you could ring the helpline (again, don't need to be a member) if you're looking for some more ideas. You're doing the right thing in keeping on top of it, you don't want it to develop into something more. Oh, try using the heat pack before a feed, but a cold pack after feeds. I hope some of that has been useful! Hang in there hun, and don't hesitate to call the helpline if you're worried. Don't leave it go too long, let me know how things progress

Sorry girls, I'm out! Will be back tomorrow for more

[Willow]

Bun - Just read about your birth - wowee, that all sounded very familiar!! Pretty much the same thing happened with D. Everything was going well and then I just felt like everything stopped. He had turned posterior and was stuck at his shoulders. My ob got me back in the shower and thankfully he dropped down (so much so that I screamed at them when they got me out of the shower, I was very prepared to deliver him then and there! LOL) so he was able to turn him. I can completely relate to the agony of it . I was in so much pain I couldn't feel the contractions, couldn't feel him crowning and my mum had to tell me that his head was out Thankfully he wasn't quite so stuck as little Joshua and I am so amazed and grateful to my ob for getting him out without forceps or stitches (although the 'McRoberts maneuver' he used was NOT fun and I was not his friend at the time!). I didn't think he'd do it and at one point was preparing myself to hear the word 'caesar'. I'm sorry things didn't go as you'd hoped honey, but you did an AMAZING job. I hope you're recovery is speedy, both physically and emotionally.

Lee - OK, Mirena. I've had mine in a few months now, probably almost 3. The 'insertion' (for want of a better term) wasn't too bad at all, just like a really long pap test actually. I had slight discomfort at times but no pain at all during, or immediately after. I was surprised that I had bleeding immediately after though, they sent me home with a pad on. It was like a really light period. That continued for a few days and then stopped. I was very pleased and thought I'd escaped this dreaded spotting you hear about. Not so lucky! LOL. It returned about a week later and lasted for about 6 weeks It wasn't heavy or painful or anything, just really annoying! I actually called my ob/gynae and told him I wanted it out. He talked me around and said I should leave it at least 6 weeks before I decided so I listened to him and a few days later, the spotting stopped and I've had nothing since (so it's probably been about a month so far with no spotting. I did have a few headaches in the beginning too, but I'm still having those and not sure if they're related or not. I think not, but will talk to my ob when I go for my check up next week (??). I wouldn't even know it's there now. From my experience so far, and assuming all looks good on the u/sound and it hasn't moved or anything, I would definitely recommend it.

Bek - I've had a few people say the same thing ie they're not surprised at me having another...well I am! LOL. And I think people are forgetting one little detail - I actually have a mirena in so it's not even possible! Not to mention my sub-standard fertility at the best of times.

Two of my close friends are going to see her today LOL, they were pretty impressed with what we told them (my best friend came with me too). Will see how accurate she is with them.

Michelle/Freya - If i'd timed it right we could have had a little catch up right there in Michelle's ED! LOL. Glad you sorted Jett out, I must admit it looked nothing like chicken pox to me.

Better go, I have a mountain of washing and housework to catch up on from the last few days, not to mention my Little Squirt has died I admit I'm cheating and have the boys in sposies cause I can't deal with the poo!

[Freya]

haha that would have been a funny sight W. The Great BB Emergency Department meetup of 2010

Sorry if I seemed vague yesterday Michelle; lack of sleep and I didnt want to keep you too long, I know how maniacal it always is there. Im really going to have to ensure the boys understand they are not to injure themselves or get sick until you or SuperDoctor are on shift I really wasnt impressed with the service on sunday night.

[Sequoia]

Hi Jayne, my husband and I own a small business in a tiny little town you’ve probably never heard of! I was around your way last week on holidays, well, kind of close. We stayed at DH’s aunty’s house in Mandurah on the Serpentine River for a week. Do you go to Mandurah much at all? Soooo much good stuff for kids to do.

Willow – lots of hugs being sent your way, you sound like you really have your hands full with 3 kiddies and your nan, thinking of you.

Bun – Wow! What a birth, I still remember you posting about Miss C’s birth, did you have Colin Blair? One of my friends had him recently. I’m glad you are now home with Mr J.

BekZ – hello again!! Great to *see* you. I remember talking Polish baby names not long ago, I love Eva’s name. Is it EEE-va or Ever? Gorgeous either way.

BW – good luck with Sam, what does DH think?

Mako – hello there old friend, thanks for the good luck vibes. DS is going beautifully, just a small speech problem, he’s a little behind in his vocab but has picked up a lot in the last month. We have a follow up appt on Friday. How is Sage?

Bonham – good luck with POAS tomorrow!

Hi Lee, I have to say, I was so happy to read of Flynn’s arrival. You really do pick beautiful names for your babes!

AFM – I’ve been found out on here IRL so if I alter my post a little after a couple of days that is why.

Lovely days all, xx.

[Janie]

Sequoia, I remember you! So nice to see you in here, I hope your TTC journey is now short and sweet .

Deb, take it easy lovely. I know it's easier said than done, but you really need to. Things will move along with all the FOTY stuff......they will be what they will be, and you worrying yourself sick will not change the outcome. Thinking of you

Mako, bugger . Do you know what cycle day you're on? Any chance it's too early, just not showing up yet? I really hope your sticky BFP comes along VERY soon.

Willow, could you be anaemic? You know how common it is in busy mums with young children. Or (don't cyber-punch me LOL, I hate to say it, but I know too many people who have had problems) could it be the Mirena? I hope whatever it is you work it out and feel better soon. Is it possibly just the sheer exhaustion of running around after three kids????

Yes Michelle, you should be made a saint, I don't know what we'd do without you!!!!! Am thinking of you all the time, here if you need me

I'm off again, will BBL!

[BekZ]

Wiilow - You never know number 4 baby could be a while down the track!!!! Your symptoms are what I have been experiencing. I had headaches for 7 days, I was/am so lethargic that I could just fall asleep at any given time during the day, and I am dizzy quite a bit too. Top that with severer pmt like symptoms and you've got one very cranky person lol. Oh yeah and I think there is something up with my pelvic floor, I can feel some weird bludge and I need to pee constantly (sorry probably too much info). I am going to the doctors next week to have a work over. Sounds like you need the same hun :hugs:

Sequioa - Miss E is referred to as Ever, although we do shorten the ending to sound like an a and not er.

Best be off for now lovelies.

[Willow]

Willow, could you be anaemic? You know how common it is in busy mums with young children. Or (don't cyber-punch me LOL, I hate to say it, but I know too many people who have had problems) could it be the Mirena? I hope whatever it is you work it out and feel better soon. Is it possibly just the sheer exhaustion of running around after three kids????

Have considered all of these things Janie which is why I'm not overly worried. I have been having the headaches since the mirena but it could also just be the heat, I don't handle it very well and always get the really bad headaches on the 35+ days. I've taken more panadol the last few months than I have in my whole life I think! That's why my mum mentioned it to me, I was asking her for panadol again yesterday.

Other interesting thing is when I had my cards read, she said something was not quite right with my health (was one of the first things she said actually), she thought it was hormonal or gynae stuff. I freaked a bit because of my history which we talked about and she said maybe it was all the scarring and damage she was seeing In any event, I'm going to discuss it with my ob and get him to do a thorough u/sound.

Bek - Maybe we're just exhausted from these kids!! She said this supposed 4th (or 5th, however you look at it) child would not come in the next 12 months, but not long after that

I just got my mirena info book thingy out - one of the side effects is lower back pain. OMG, my back has been killing me for two weeks! I honestly think its from lifting my buddha boy in and out of his cot though. Headaches are definitely listed though

[mako]

Sequioa DS is doing really well these days. He's such a happy little boy who lights up our world every single day. He's just a little fella but hey someone has to be smaller on the scale I think he's having a growth spurt atm though as all he's doing the last couple of days is eat eat eat and he's asking for "more meat" lol. that is devon or sausages or little frankies lol.
Its great to hear your DS is coming along well too

Jo Please don't apolagise to me about you posting about some fantastic news. I'm so happy for you and can't wait to hear how your POAS test goes tomorrow.

Freya Wonderful news that Jett hasn't got chicken pox after all. So what about your nephew? Has his rash gone too or is his c'pox? What has your sister said?

Janie I'm not too sure if I'm on cd 34 or 36 depends on if I should take the 1st day I went to hospital as cd1 with spotting that got worse or the 2nd time I went after everything had gotten really bad.Either way I'm thinking af will be here sometime soon. I'm actually hoping it happens before I go back to work next Thursday.
How are you? Did you start the meds the other day?

Michelle I agree with the other girls
So pleased Omar is wriggling around lots and that you have done some more scans. How are you and DH doing?

Willow Go to the DR hun. Hopefully they will have some answers for you too. You have so much going on atm too hun and you need to take care of YOU too

Bek Oh hun I hope you are feeling better soon and get some answers from your DR too.

I'm not doing so great today. MIL took Sage out for a play date (cos I told her I was going to put him into daycare 1 day a week so he could interact with other kids and she got upset so she said she would make more effort to organise play dates with her friends with grand kids similar aged if I didn't book him into care). So anyway she came on picked him up just after 8 this morning and I was meant to go out for lunch with some friends but I just couldn't do it today. It's the 1st day I've actually had to myself since my m/c so I'm needing to just spend it by myself and have a good cry without worrying about anyone walking in and catching me out.

BBL should go and vacuum while DS isn't here to "help"

[BekZ]

Mako - Just wanted to give you a hug. Have a rest hun.

[Freya]

My nephew must have just had heatrash; he ended up in hospital night before last with a vomitting bug that made him dehydrated but no chicken pox.

Mako.

[Willow]

Mako - I agree with Bek, go watch a DVD or have a sleep.

[JCE0810]

big Mako

[nicjay]

mako - that was how I coped after my m/c. Take it easy today while you can.

Willow - I'd be off to the dr too if I was feeling like that. It must be so hard to cope when you are feeling awful. I hope things are OK today with your nan. And OMG at the Little Squirt dying, I'm lost without mine! I nearly died without it when we were on holidays LOL

Lee - Oh NO at AF showing up - how ripped off! I'm 5 months down the track and I would still feel ripped off if she showed up now LOL

BW - Sorry to hear about Sam, I can understand your stress. If it makes you feel better though, I would be getting the referral too.

Kelly - Hope AF shows up for you soon So very sorry for your loss hun.

Bonham - GL with testing tomorrow - fingers crossed for you!

Lisa - Glad everything is going well, GL with your next ob appt.

Hi everyone else Sorry for no more persies, have been out swimming with DD1 then shopping and now have to go and deal with Mount Washmore LOL On the bright side though, at least it is so hot that it will all dry fast. DH has been away for work most of the week, so have had the 2 girls to deal with by myself, it has been very busy. At least he will be back tomorrow night, just in time for the weekend.

[nicjay]

OMG, how rude of me - I forgot Bun! Congratulations and well done, what a fantastic job you did hun by the sounds of it. I'm sorry it didn't go as you hoped though but all the very best for a quick recovery. The bath idea sounds fantastic, I had a LOT of stitches with DD1 and stuff like that was just heaven

[Bun]

mako - big hugs sweetie. I agree with the others, take care of yourself today and put your feet up. It sounds like you need some time to yourself so make the most of it, cry all you need to and know that we are here for you if you need to *talk*.

janie - thank you so much for your advice. I had forgotten about feeding with bubs chin closest to the lump, but I don't think I can this time as the lump is right at the top of the boob! Hopefully it will go away soon. There is a great ABA group here, I am friends with one of the girls so may come along to a meeting sometime. So sorry for not responding to your post about your little bub, I am sure it will be fine but I can understand you worrying. I am passing on some grow baby grow vibes!

Michelle - i am also sorry for not responding to your news. I am so so sorry you are going through this, it must be so stressful for you and DH. It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought though. I will be thinking of you next week.

Willow & Bek - I hope you are both feeling better soon. It must be so busy having three kids, make sure you make some time for yourselves too!

sequioa - I had Dr Blair with C's birth but have moved interstate now so had to find a different OB. Luckily he turned out to be great too!

BW - sorry to hear about Sam. I know it is so hard not to stress when the drs say to wait a while. I am hoping that it will resolve itself in the meantime.

Lisa - glad to hear all is going well with you and your little one.

Thanks everyone for your comments about the birth. I am still struggling with it a little and it is nice to hear from others who have been through a posterior labour and understand how horrendous it is. Now things are getting worse. I had some really tight stitches which were cut the day I left hosp and gave me a huge relief but I am still in agony in one spot. I have been trying to work out if there is another too tight stitch in there but everything is so swollen it is hard to tell what is what! Anyway, the pain was so bad today and last night that I phoned the OB today and went in to see a midwife about cutting the stitch. She decided it was too hard for her as it is so sore and swollen so got an OB to have a look (mine wasn't in today). Anyway, it turns out that the knot in the stitch is actually under the skin so he can't cut it, basically it is soooo tight that there is nothing they can do other than cut the skin which won't really help and it will be another week and a half before the stitch dissolves so I have been told I just need heaps more pain killers in the meantime. I am trying not to take many as J is that sleepy anyway, and now I have been told to take three times what I have been taking, so my little guy will never be awake! I have to go in again tomorrow for another check and may need antibiotics to avoid infection. Sigh... as if the birth wasn't bad enough, now the recovery is getting even worse!

[Sequoia]

to mako and Bun.