Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May

[Michelle71]

Spring - Sounds like you had the most wonderful birthday!!! How special... definitely one to remember!!

Michelle - Hugs hun.. hope you managed to get those cheeky monkey's to bed... and surely you got a sleep in with them going to bed so late!!

Jayne - Thinking of you hun.. especially as the next few days approach. Sending you all the strength you need... sounds like you're doing an amazing job of keeping yourself 'together'.. sooo important to keep the upper hand!!!

Bun & Janie - It was soooo fantastic catching up the other day... was so lovely to meet you Bun and my god your kids are just adorable!!! Catherine soooo made me want to have a little girl, she's just gorgeous!!

Hope everyone else is well. AFM - I just have to have a little whinge... sorry, I know this is really petty in the scheme of what everyone else in here is going through... Luke is sooo excited that his Grandma is visiting (my MIL) and so am I, don't get me wrong, she's fantastic but I was really hoping that she'd help out a bit more this visit (I'm just so tired atm and would love a bit of a 'break'). Anyway, Luke was really excited this morning and ran downstairs to see her and she told him pretty much to go away!! She told him not to turn the light on and that Grandma was still sleeping. So I had to get up and 'entertain' him (a little lay in would of been so amazing)!!! So she finally got up at a quarter to 8.. made a cup of tea and said “I’m just going to go lie back in bed and read my book for a while”…. Well ok then. I just don’t really get it and hope that it doesn’t go on like this for the next 10 days. Hopefully she’s just feeling a bit tired from the flight and time difference (even though it’s only a 3 hour flight and only 2 hours time difference now).

Anyway, sorry for the very petty whinge… just had to get that out before it really started getting to me. I wish it was my Mum over here visiting, I miss her so much. Like I said though, I do love my MIL, she's great and I am very lucky to have her here... I just want a little bit of help!!! It's only day one too, so I'm probably being way too harsh... LOL... poor thing hasn't even had a chance to do anything yet... oh god, now I feel so mean!! Oh well, helps to get it off my chest!!!

Kel xxxx

Oops!!! I have just discovered the little people have posted a quote for me

My apologies - but I kept it here because I am impressed at their skill, even if I didn't realise they had done it

[~Jayne~]

Hi Ladies,

2 days to go. I'm going freaking insane. I have NO Idea what I"m going to say, I think I'll wing it on the day. I have filed away all the paperwork I have been poring over, I have made copies of everything that I need to and now I just wait....... It's driving me insane. I can't sleep & then I'm so tired in the mornings that I look as though I have been on the town all night. If only!

So sorry for the selfish post, I'll be back tomorrow with a better one.

Oh & Michelle, you buy yourself any little gadget your heart desires my friend!!! Ipad, Iphone, you do whatever you want. Personally I think they are crackers of presents. I'd treat myself as well!

When Deb & I are on the town checking out the talent, you are more than welcome to tag along, just let me have first pick ok? Mind you, I have just checked out the lovely Deb on FB & I'm seriously needing to get my backside into some better shape or I'll end up holding her drink while she kisses hot men. LOL

Love Jayne x

[mako]

Spring Happy Belated Birthday to you sweet lady. I bet you got the biggest surprise when you got back home to a house full of guests
How is your DH after his op?

Kelly Whinge away hun. I'd be annoyed too if that happened here. I meant to say the other day Congratulations on Luke being in undies full time. He's done so so well and so have you
When's your next Ob appointment?

Bun I hope the 3 weeks passes by really fast for you. How are your gorgeous babies doing?

Jayne I wish I could change things for you and FF the next couple of days. Just go with the flow I reckon. I'll be holding your hand and giving you all the strength I can when the time comes

Lee How did your appointment go yesterday? I hope you were given some tools to help with what you are going through right now. How's Remy and Flynn doing? How is your DD1 doing now? I often think of her and the struggles teenage girls go through

Michelle See I told you last night you have 2 very clever babies there They are doing better than me cos I don't have a clue how to quote a post I think after our conversation last night that you need to buy yourself an IPad or IPhone How did your night go last night? I hope the little ones obliged and let you sleep.

We had a good weekend away although I really missed Sage. I couldn't wait to pick him up yesterday morning.
I've finished the clomid for this cycle so I guess we'll just wait and see what happens. I have been a little bit of a crazy person lately so hopefully things will settle down a bit soon

Hi to everyone.

[Lee]

Morning girls, how is everyone today - it's a cold wintery morning here in Hobart, I love winter, especially once you have spent years in the tropics (Darwin/Kakadu) where you live permanently in a sauna!! Love wearing winter boots, and warm jumpers, and a warm snifter by the fire

Mako - thanks for asking hon, was too tired to write much lastnight - I'm still amazed at how EXHAUSTING grief work is - I felt so drained after my appointment - talked solidly for 2 hours - out it all came again, with the river of tears aswell. It was a good appointment, it's still good to pour it all out, and offload. The counsellor was nice, I liked her - and she was amazed at what I'm currently having to juggle - i.e. the 'old' life and the 'new' life, and trying to keep all and sundry happy, as well as grieving......... I think I will "get there", wherever that may be, but it's such a long journey - and being remarried has opened up a whole range of different issues, and the grief weaves it's way into my new life all the time...........

My oldest DD is struggling a bit atm - just pre-teen stuff, and begged me thismorning to excuse her from school cos it's X Country - I didn't............ convinced her to walk - she is just so self-conscoius of people watching her, I know it's normal at this age, but she really needs her confidence boosted.

Remy is coming up 2 in August, what a little Miss she is, got a lot of french/italian genes coming out, very fiesty and independent - and little Flynn is a delight, so quiet and wise, I feel/suspect he could be the soul of Luc come back again, or at the very least an old wise soul, he just looks at me and I know he is wise... love him SO much.

So that's me - I'm loving being back at my massage studies - and DH is home with the 2 babies - so nice to do something for myself, and I have my 2nd paid massage booked in for Thursday - doing student rates $30 per hour, it's feels good to earn something lol, even if it's not much, it's good for the self-confidence etc....

Michelle - could you get your little people to do my Tax Return online and submit it Beware of making appointments too early, sleep time is SACRED!!!!! Hope you get done what you need babe.....

Kelly - that would totally P...S me off too - I've had the exact same but worse with my french MIL here - she did not help at all, and in fact made me feel a whole lot worse - hope your MIL lifts her game - I think a few "subtle" hints wouldn't go astray like "HELLO MIL - I'm pregnant, I feel like crud, I need extra sleep, Luke is full on, you are here to help, so get off your lazy be...hind and help me out PLEASE" would that do ????

Jayne - I'm not totally up to speed with you - I think I know where you had an appointment - but what I really want to know is what was your 'lightbulb' moment the other day. What inspires you???????? Hang in there hon, you'll be amazed at your own strength when you need to muster it xoxoxo

Spring - hope you are recovered from your big night and still glowing rosily from such a perfect birthday xo Good luck at Shrek!

Hi Bun, Freya, Janie, Bek, Willow - how are you girls??????? I know you are suffering sleep deprivation, hope you are lying low and 'surviving'!!!!!!!

Much love to all, Lee xo

[Janie]

Love your posts Lee! Sounds like the grief counselling will really work out for you after all, that's so fantastic. I hope you can plan some down time for after each session, so you can recharge. So nice to hear about your kids, they sound gorgeous

I'm currently FAK, so can'[t post properly. I am feeling so blergh today, so over everything. Trying to pick myself up, but it's just not working today. I really want to just lie around and watch DVDs, but as if DS1 would let me do that hahaha! Oh well, that's life, and tomorrow is another day.

If DS2 ever lets me put him down I will come back later.....xoxo

[~Jayne~]

JANIE _ I"m so sorry honey, I should have commented earlier. I'm thrilled for you that the little man has been accepted to his Kindy of choice. What fantastic news. The new school year will be here before you know it!!! I can't believe it, Claudia will be off to Kindy next year as well & I'm freaking out that she isn't ready for it academically. I haven't spent anywhere near the amount of time with her doing 'learning' like I did with Jess. Jess could write her whole name by now & Claudia can't even grip the pencil correctly!!! Eeeek!

[Janie]

OMG, you are making feel like such a bad mum But thanks so much . I haven't done much 'learning' stuff with DS1, I'm too busy trying to get him to behave OMG, writing his name????? His drawings have only just started to resemble what he says they are!!!! All his talent lies in his talking (surprised much? ) I think your Jess is a bright button

[kellym]

Hahahahaha... I'm with you Janie and I don't even have an excuse (although we have moved states... hmmm.... but that should mean I have MORE time to spend with him)!!! Oooopppps. Lukes drawings are still a mass of scribble.. he's nowhere near even drawing shapes, let alone writing his name!!! Guess he's a bit of a chatterbox too though, so all his talent lies there - LOL.

Anyway sorry for the quick post... must get Luke off to daycare (yippy.. I'm really sorry but I love daycare day)!! Got an appointment with the OB today and I've been really good lately, feeling all positive and feeling bubs move around but for some reason, I'm freaking out this morning. WTF?? I have no reason to, although I haven't felt bub really move since yesterday morning... but it's still early days and I don't think I should expect to feel it all the time yet. I've also got ear infections in my earring holes, so am a little worried because I've always treated that with Hydrogen Peroxide (sp?) and put it on without thinking... surely that can't hurt bubs though, it's just a bit on my infected ears!!?? Anyway, I've had the sh*ts with it and pulled my earrings out now, so I'm just going to have to let the holes close over.. I'm really upset.. no more earrings.. and I'm too much of a whimp to get them done again.. so goodbye lovely earrings, you've been wonderful (in bettween all the damn infections)!!!!! Soooo frustrating. Oh and the MIL has been quite a lot better over the last couple of days.. thanks so much for listening guys. She's bloody hopeless in the mornings, but she's been helping with lots of things in the evenings and afternoons... although she did let me push Luke and the pram around ALL day at the zoo yesterday... until I finally asked her to push it... would of been nice of her to offer but anyway, I can't expect too much - LOL. I think we're just very different people!!! LOL.

Must go. Love to you all.

Kel xxxx

[kellym]

Just another quick one as I'm back from my OB appointment and all is perfect!!! It was absolutely wonderful to see bubs moving around in there. OB was really happy with everything and doesn't want to see me for another 5 weeks!! Crazy but really good I guess. And I have my 20 week scan in another week and a half.. so that will be nice. My OB knows what we're having too.. she said she got a really good look... but I didn't find out!!! I hate that she knows but love that we'll get the surprise on the big day!!

Sending all of you some nice big hugs!!

Kel xxx

[~Jayne~]

Congratulations on such a fantastic scan Kel, I'm really happy for you honey. I can't believe you're nearing up the halfway mark!! Amazing.
Bummer about the house - there will be a more perfect one when your time is right. xx

[BekZ]

Great news Kel

Jayne - Hugs again sweetheart

Ways and hugs to all

[Michelle71]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow I have burnt toes from moxa!!!!!!!! I went to acupuncture today to start the process of turning this recalcitrant child and continued with moxa tonight. BAD THING TO DO WITH A TODDLER (or 2 ) Lily threw a ball outside over the top of me, knocking the moxa off the wooden skewers and scattering burning embers onto my feet. My left big toe is soooooooo sore, I smell of moxa and so does the house (and probably the children ) Such fun - NOT!!! I have a very uncomfortable tummy and a TMI WARNING - brownish / old blood discharge today. Not a show as such but a little concerning with a transverse baby and not yet 36 weeks

On the good news front - Greg's brother and SIL had a little boy today. Successful VBAC. And he is sooooooo cute (I have had a bubby cuddle already )

BBL when my toes stop hurting - ow ow ow ow ow Laugh or cry, laugh or cry.

[BekZ]

Ouchies Michelle. Your poor toes. I guess you already know to give your doctors a call if you are concerned. I hope all is ok.

Guys after a long think, I think I am going to get the strength to move away from BB. I really don't feel like I fit in anywhere, actually I've always been scraping the outer rim so to speak and I wish I could have met you all in real life. Anyway I've been struggling with being home with my babies for so long and I feel like I have fallen into some sort of black hole and all I do is sit on the computer and hope that I can get some sort of fulfillment from my online life, when really I should be getting off my a@@ and moving forward. So thanks to everyone here, you've all helped me in some way. I truly appreciate what BB has done for me. I won't go away totally until I hear that George and Kelly's bub is here safely.

PS..I think AF is coming too

[Michelle71]

Bek You need to do what is right for you. But we'll miss you xx

[Janie]

Oh Bek, I hear you But I really wish you could stay. I was thinking all this week that I've missed you in this thread recently (and I'm not 'just saying' that now that you've written your post). While you're stalking Michelle and Kelly, please pop your head in and say hi PLEASE tell me you'll still be on fb?

[Inanna]

Oh no Michelle! Far out I got a visual that looked scary! I hope they are better soon.

[Michelle71]

Toes are all better but my house, children and myself stink of moxa Only going to get worse until we move position Georgie boy!!!!

[Lee]

Hi girls

Bek - I feel sad to see you go too, although I do understand, it's all to easy to get caught up doing stuff, while life seems to pass you by. It sounds like you could really do with some time for yourself. I know how hard it is to get that with young children at home - I'm loving being back at my massage course, but it wouldn't be possible if DH wasn't on long service leave - well, it would be possible, but costsly and much more difficult. How are you placed to do a course in something that interests/inspires you? Do you have good support? Just a thought anyway... within a couple of years things will become much easier hon, don't be too hard on yourself at the current time - it is very demanding and challenging being home with little-uns, and many women opt to return to work as work is easier! You are doing a magnificent job, and it is a very important job, don't undervalue that. Always here when you want to say hello and let us know how you are doing - good luck on the next part of your journey, massive hugs xoxoxoxo

Michelle - George TURN boy TURN!!!!!! Where are you at????????? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoo

Hi all - too stuffed to talk now - just wanted to say bye to Bek (for now) - I'm feeling like I'm coming down with something horrible, urgh, just want a good sleep, urgh........... would love to crawl under a rock for a week, but will need to wait another 15 years before I can do that!

Hugs all round, Lee x