I couldn't read without offering hugs.

I don't have much advice coz I haven't been through it myself.

Maybe - if you feel up to it - you could have some kind of memorial on Christmas day to remind your loved ones that your beautiful Nikita is not, and should not, be forgotten. I have heard that this kind of memorial, though heart-wrenching, is also very helpful for releasing the feelings you are experiencing.

I can't imagine how hard it must be and I can't believe people have said those kinds of comments to you. Those kind of comments must hurt so much.

I hope someone else has something more helpful to offer. xxxxxx