Which Parenting books do you recommend?

[Nai]

The only one I can recommend in addition to what has already been mentioned as a YES is a pregnancy resource which is "Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method by Marie Mongan"

[meow]

I'd second a lot of what has already been recommended and have to add a favourite, FANTASTIC book that sadly doesn't get mentioned enough "Children are people too" by Louise Porter. I judge a good book store by whether they have this one in stock

For fun I'd also stock "Porn for new moms"... it's SOOO funny!

[*Elle*]

I loved up the duff by kazz cook, she brought alot of humour to my pg and I enjoyed every page

[fionas]

For pregnancy - the obvious fiction of the characters made Up The Duff a sometimes irritating read but I did like the chick lit style and it's a good one if you want your partner to read SOMETHING about pregnancy. For labour - I found the Juju Sundin book (sorry, can't remember the name) very helpful and common sensical.

What to Expect In the First Year - didn't mind it; liked the specifics of the month-by-month sections.

How To Raise An Amazing Child by Tim Seldin (President of the Montessiori Foundation) - currently reading this, some useful tips so far.

But really, just give your customers a card with the bellybelly web address on - not so good for profits though!

[fionas]

Sorry, forgot - I've just read Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf. Found the bits on dividing baby responsibilities fairly between partners very interesting. No real solutions offered but glad to know I'm not a complete nutcase when I go berserk when DP feels it necessary to ask me what should go in the nappy bag!

[mrscricket]

Haven't had a proper chance to sit down and read properly but wanted to say a HUGE thankyou to everyone who has contributed so far . I am going to sit down and go through it all tonight and then start to do some ordering for my section in the shop! The comments are great - I think I will print these pages for the other staff in the shop to read so they can do some recommendations as well. Keep them coming girls!!

[BellyBelly]

I think the problem with the 'Up the Duff's' and the 'What to Expect' fall short in really helping women about the guts of the birth stuff - that is the consensus in the industry also. Yes it might have some fun/interesting reading but ALL bookstores I have seen (commericial ones) fall dangerously short providing books which give women tools and skills for birth. New Active Birth should be in every pregnant woman's bookshelf for example, its the BASIC stuff women need to understand that getting of the bed is one of the best things they can do for themselves, which gives them less pelvic space, is more painful etc - its an essential. Yet these commercial best sellers are on the shelves and this is not healthy and not conducive to empowering and educating women.

[Cherie]

My favourites:
New Active Birth (Janet Balaskas)
Spiritual Midwifery (Ina May Gaskin)
Babylove (Robin Barker) - I thought I would hate this one because it's fairly mainstream, but I actually like it. The author is very laid back about milestones (I've found other books seem to set unrealistically high expectations) and fairly gentle in her approaches to sleep.

I hated:
Contented Little Baby Book - I bought this one because I wanted to buy something on the 'routine' end of the spectrum. Bleugh! It has some seriously bizarre ideas that would only work for naturally calm and compliant babies.

[FluffyLaRue]

Any of Steve Biddulph's books

Anything by Pinky McKay is brilliant.

Waste of time - All the What to Expect series
Save Our Sleep - Tizzie Hall (I actually hide that one if I see it in a bookshop - I move them and cover them with other books)

I think. I. Love. You.

I'd do the same if I saw one of those books!

I think Misconceptions By Naomi Wolf is a great resource for women- just because it's something you can relate too... Susan Maushart is another marvelous writer too

[OldMate]

A little disappointed that there are no male oriented books on the suggested lists. When we found out DW was pregnant, we bought a couple of books, one directly aimed at me. I was the first one to finish reading mine, and the first one to finish one of hers too. DW really enjoyed Kaz Cook, but I would have to agree with the sentiment that it shows that other people go through this, but doesn't supply much solid advice.

I recommend:

Not Rocket Science: DADS (because bringing up kids ain't hard)

[Smoke Jaguar]

Yep, OldMate, there IS the title, "So, you're going to be a dad", and we hated it. Well, most of it. It's supposed to be a funny spin on pregnancy and early parenthood. Not a lot of it applied to us and the way we intended to birth and parent as it subscribes a lot to the medicalisation and Western fear of birth, as well as separated sleeping and talk of 'sleep deprivation' (which we haven't really experienced because of our parenting choices). So, you won't find me recommending it, as a result!
My DP read the Marie Mongan book, so that he'd know what I was doing in labour etc.
The other books he bothered to leaf through were not specifically for women (anyone can read Pinky!).
I'd say, OM, that you are in a minority of partners - none of the dad's I know really did much reading of their own, sadly enough! So, it's not a deliberate exclusion of books for men here, it's a lack of decent material as well as not being in our experience that men WANT to read these books
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll look into this title for DP!

[BellyBelly]

For blokes - Men At Birth by David Vernon. The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.

Sadly many dads books are pretty much not 'helpful' in the sense I would have liked, but men like to be humoured which most of the books contain!

Parenting could really be applied to either gender and also Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph has a section for dads, so both partners can apply the ideas. In fact there are lots of good Steve Biddulph books which are worth the read

[Cassius2]

Thought this was an interesting thread and have gotten some good ideas!

Useful ones (ie ones that i liked and used from time to time):

for pregnancy and birth i couldnt go past Sheila Kitzinger's pregnancy and birth book. i borrowed this one from my mum and read no other birth book (even as 'outdated' as it was!). was so glad to see that they recently brought out the next edition!

I also bought up the duff by kaz cooke as i quite liked the humour. and it made me smile and because it went from week to week i loved counting down the time. also it was the one that DH also liked to read as lots were in bullet points! LOL!

For babies and toddlers: i found Baby Love and The Mighty Toddler to be useful references. once Leila was born i didnt want anyone telling me how to raise my child, so didnt really go out and buy a particular line of parenting style book. but i also lived far away from family and needed to read something that at least gave me some 'take it or leave it' advice and that's kinda how i felt with these books. for anyone who hasnt read them, she worked as a maternal and child health nurse for yonks so that may give you an idea of her style. that said, some things she offered i didnt think much of, but overall there were some good reference points. her recipes for bubs are also pretty scrumptious!

Books that I didnt really like:

'save our sleep' tizzy hall. found this militaristic and a bit paternalistic. made me feel like a bit of a robot if i were to follow it, and didnt really have room to negotiate the approaches to the prescribed routines IYKWIM.

'kidwrangling' by kaz cooke. i had so much fun with UTD that i bought this without looking and i think i burst into tears the first time i read it as it also became a bit full on about the blame game of raising your child incorrectly etc. DH threw it out.

unfortunately i can't really read pinky mckay's stuff. again, mostly because i like to believe in my ability to know my own child. and although i do prescribe to alot of what she offers, the style is really blamey. i visit her website for tips, but the books are just a bit full on for me.

penelope leach's book on birth (cant remember the name...) this too was thrown out. again, very one way or the highway.

HTH

p.s. 'porn for new mums' IS THE BEST!! LOL!

[Smoke Jaguar]

Wow, I would never have attributed Pinky with those characteristics! I have found her to be a really liberating read - arming me with the ammunition to be the parent I want to be with my own child. I'm actually stunned to read your reaction, Cassius and don't understand it, not that we have to see eye to eye on these things
I've found The Politics Of Breastfeeding to be a sort of proxy parenting book. It's not really, yet it informs my parenting quite a bit in it's approach (probably because what it says I tend to think anyway, and it's just reinforcing that for me!).
Reading Diaper-Free by Ingrid Bauer and even though it's supposed to be about elimination communication, even she says that it's more than just a way to go to the toilet, it's a whole dynamic with your child and is really part of that unconditionality that some of us strive for in our parenting relationships
I'm with you, Cassius, about Kidwrangling. Actually, after reading the first bit of this (and promptly returning it to the library) I realised why my second reading of UTD (first time was two years before actually being UTD) was so disappointing - it just wasn't resonating with my parenting intentions Oh, well!

[BellyBelly]

Hmmm me too, that's an interesting way to describe Pinky's books and messages! Wouldn't have used that sort of description either... each to our own though!

[Cassius2]

oh mayaness i wish i had of gotten my kidwrangling from the library too instead of spending money on it!!! it's interesting that your reading of UTD second time round was so different...no doubt i'll be in the same boat!

as for Pinky's stuff, well i dunno! i like her articles and find them really comforting and useful and go to her website alot, but when i read her 'sleeping like a baby' i kinda felt as though i was still being told what was best practice for a healthy, happy bub and if i did it wrong i was ruining her (even though i was pretty much following it all anyway). i guess i am just not one for parenting books yet....

that said i dont really think that my Pinky McKay recommendation should be under the same bracket as TH's book!! uurrghhhhhhh. so i apologise enormously for that!!!

[bronners]

LOVED:
Spiritual Midwifery - Ina May Gaskin
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin
Anything by Sheila Kitzinger
Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering - Sarah J Buckley
Anything Pinky McKay
Anything Dr Sears
No Cry Sleep Solution for Babies (and the sequel for Toddlers & Preschoolers)
The Science of Parenting (great one for Dad as it is very science based and affirms the importance of secure attachment)

Not many people have mentioned breastfeeding books and I think "Breastfeeding... Naturally" Jill Day / ABA is awesome and just about all a Mum needs for general breastfeeding info.

I didn't like;
Up the Duff - yep I found it funny, but has no info that really prepared me for birth and I actually found the choices of the mother in the story really upsetting - the whole spiral of intervention situation ending up in a c sect.

I have browsed through Save Our Sleep at the book shop and hid it right at the back too!! Put No Cry Sleep Solution in it's place

[Cassius2]

te he he, i guess there are a few of us 'hiders' out there in bookshops!! i also put that book to fartherst depths of the shelves!