Which Parenting books do you recommend?

[fionas]

Sorry, forgot - I've just read Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf. Found the bits on dividing baby responsibilities fairly between partners very interesting. No real solutions offered but glad to know I'm not a complete nutcase when I go berserk when DP feels it necessary to ask me what should go in the nappy bag!

[mrscricket]

Haven't had a proper chance to sit down and read properly but wanted to say a HUGE thankyou to everyone who has contributed so far . I am going to sit down and go through it all tonight and then start to do some ordering for my section in the shop! The comments are great - I think I will print these pages for the other staff in the shop to read so they can do some recommendations as well. Keep them coming girls!!

[BellyBelly]

I think the problem with the 'Up the Duff's' and the 'What to Expect' fall short in really helping women about the guts of the birth stuff - that is the consensus in the industry also. Yes it might have some fun/interesting reading but ALL bookstores I have seen (commericial ones) fall dangerously short providing books which give women tools and skills for birth. New Active Birth should be in every pregnant woman's bookshelf for example, its the BASIC stuff women need to understand that getting of the bed is one of the best things they can do for themselves, which gives them less pelvic space, is more painful etc - its an essential. Yet these commercial best sellers are on the shelves and this is not healthy and not conducive to empowering and educating women.

[Cherie]

My favourites:
New Active Birth (Janet Balaskas)
Spiritual Midwifery (Ina May Gaskin)
Babylove (Robin Barker) - I thought I would hate this one because it's fairly mainstream, but I actually like it. The author is very laid back about milestones (I've found other books seem to set unrealistically high expectations) and fairly gentle in her approaches to sleep.

I hated:
Contented Little Baby Book - I bought this one because I wanted to buy something on the 'routine' end of the spectrum. Bleugh! It has some seriously bizarre ideas that would only work for naturally calm and compliant babies.

[OldMate]

A little disappointed that there are no male oriented books on the suggested lists. When we found out DW was pregnant, we bought a couple of books, one directly aimed at me. I was the first one to finish reading mine, and the first one to finish one of hers too. DW really enjoyed Kaz Cook, but I would have to agree with the sentiment that it shows that other people go through this, but doesn't supply much solid advice.

I recommend:

Not Rocket Science: DADS (because bringing up kids ain't hard)

[Smoke Jaguar]

Yep, OldMate, there IS the title, "So, you're going to be a dad", and we hated it. Well, most of it. It's supposed to be a funny spin on pregnancy and early parenthood. Not a lot of it applied to us and the way we intended to birth and parent as it subscribes a lot to the medicalisation and Western fear of birth, as well as separated sleeping and talk of 'sleep deprivation' (which we haven't really experienced because of our parenting choices). So, you won't find me recommending it, as a result!
My DP read the Marie Mongan book, so that he'd know what I was doing in labour etc.
The other books he bothered to leaf through were not specifically for women (anyone can read Pinky!).
I'd say, OM, that you are in a minority of partners - none of the dad's I know really did much reading of their own, sadly enough! So, it's not a deliberate exclusion of books for men here, it's a lack of decent material as well as not being in our experience that men WANT to read these books
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll look into this title for DP!

[BellyBelly]

For blokes - Men At Birth by David Vernon. The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.

Sadly many dads books are pretty much not 'helpful' in the sense I would have liked, but men like to be humoured which most of the books contain!

Parenting could really be applied to either gender and also Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph has a section for dads, so both partners can apply the ideas. In fact there are lots of good Steve Biddulph books which are worth the read

[Cassius2]

Thought this was an interesting thread and have gotten some good ideas!

Useful ones (ie ones that i liked and used from time to time):

for pregnancy and birth i couldnt go past Sheila Kitzinger's pregnancy and birth book. i borrowed this one from my mum and read no other birth book (even as 'outdated' as it was!). was so glad to see that they recently brought out the next edition!

I also bought up the duff by kaz cooke as i quite liked the humour. and it made me smile and because it went from week to week i loved counting down the time. also it was the one that DH also liked to read as lots were in bullet points! LOL!

For babies and toddlers: i found Baby Love and The Mighty Toddler to be useful references. once Leila was born i didnt want anyone telling me how to raise my child, so didnt really go out and buy a particular line of parenting style book. but i also lived far away from family and needed to read something that at least gave me some 'take it or leave it' advice and that's kinda how i felt with these books. for anyone who hasnt read them, she worked as a maternal and child health nurse for yonks so that may give you an idea of her style. that said, some things she offered i didnt think much of, but overall there were some good reference points. her recipes for bubs are also pretty scrumptious!

Books that I didnt really like:

'save our sleep' tizzy hall. found this militaristic and a bit paternalistic. made me feel like a bit of a robot if i were to follow it, and didnt really have room to negotiate the approaches to the prescribed routines IYKWIM.

'kidwrangling' by kaz cooke. i had so much fun with UTD that i bought this without looking and i think i burst into tears the first time i read it as it also became a bit full on about the blame game of raising your child incorrectly etc. DH threw it out.

unfortunately i can't really read pinky mckay's stuff. again, mostly because i like to believe in my ability to know my own child. and although i do prescribe to alot of what she offers, the style is really blamey. i visit her website for tips, but the books are just a bit full on for me.

penelope leach's book on birth (cant remember the name...) this too was thrown out. again, very one way or the highway.

HTH

p.s. 'porn for new mums' IS THE BEST!! LOL!