Hi,

So sorry for what you're going through. I'm another mum of a non-sleeper and I remember those terrible despairing times. She almost two now and still not sleeping through, although she's much better and easier to resettle now. Here are the things that have saved us:

  • co-sleeping. It truly is the best way to get the most sleep possible. Don't worry about forming habits at this stage, you're in survival mode
  • I didn't start Mothers' Group until my daughter was three months and it was fine. There were a range of ages there.
  • Nap when he naps, even if it's only for forty five minutes. You'll be amazed at the difference it makes
  • Your husband needs to get up with him in the morning so you can have an extra hour sleep. This is non-negotiable, as you have no other support
  • Make sure he is tightly swaddled. There is a fantastic book called 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' with amazing footage of very fussy babies instantly calming from tight swaddling and loud (vaccuum cleaner level) white noise. I wish I'd known about it when my daughter was small. The Happiest Baby
  • it's normal for your hair to start falling out between three and six months after giving birth. I lost about a third of my hair, it's just about recovered now.
  • feeding every two hours is fine and totally normal for a baby his age. Talk to an Australian Breastfeeding counsellor, or email the help line, for reassurance and ideas. Australian Breastfeeding Association
  • DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. It is nothing you are doing or not doing. Some (many) babies just don't need as much sleep as others. If you can't resettle after his first sleep cycle in five minutes, give it up. Just put him down for a nap earlier. Life is too short to spend hours trying to resettle a crying baby.
  • Go for a walk even if you're exhausted. You will feel better, I promise.
  • It won't be like this forever. It really, really won't. Do not get hung up on all that sleep scheduling and routine advice, follow your baby's lead. You'll have plenty of time to change sleep associations when he's over six months.


Good luck. I know how hellish it is.