How much longer is "not much longer" and when is "really soon" because I keep waiting and waiting for that time to come ... first it was 6 weeks everyone said it would get better, but it got worse, then it was 12 weeks, then 3 months...

Just last night, for example, Jude wanted to be fed at midnight, 2.40am, 5.40am, 7.30am ... I'm at my wits end and my hair is very literally falling out in huge clumps.

I have a wrap and Jude likes to go for walks if there's a cool breeze but he hates it at home and it's so hot here. I can't afford a hammock. We're not really making ends meet financially as it is.

I made an appointment last year for the MCHN to come help with sleep and they rang this week, the 1 day I had other plans they could fit me in so I had to cancel and I was too tired to deal with it, and now I'm sure I can't get another appointment for weeks and weeks. I don't really like the idea of someone coming and watching me all day critiquing my parenting and telling me that Jude should be sleeping longer, because I know that I just don't see how I can help it if he won't sleep for more than 45 minutes. What can I do about that?

The stupid community health centres are now centralised and I can't even call them to ask a question, I have to ring the central body and speak to an idiot and try to make an appointment I know I'll have trouble keeping.

I just find talking to anyone so demoralising. Jude's so small he's like a 1-month old in physical size and I don't think anyone gets how completely demanding he is when at 3 months he should be feeding and sleeping better. Why did I get the baby that won't sleep?