kuraiza - re our BB group - I think what has happened is that alot of us in the group have had subsequent babies this time around, and therefore have already experienced that lack of sleep comes with the turf of being a mum. So, it may well seem we are all cruisey and sunshine, but of course we have our times with our bubs too.
I think this time around for me, Zander is a result of karma from Giselle - who was a nightmare until about 6 months ago!!
I think I have previously posted that there is always more good than bad, but when you are so terribly exhausted, it is hard to see.
These ladies have given great suggestions, - to add, instead of a chiro, have him checked over by an osteo - they should charge less for babies, and that box can be ticked. He might be tight down one side which makes it uncomfortable for him to be in any one position for a length of time, not necessarily pain, just uncomfortable enough to prevent him going back to sleep. That is the only other thing I can think of that hasn't been posted!
Try marking on your calendar 3 days of the week in advance which days you will go out at first - mentally you will be ready, pack bags the night before, wash hair night before - so a quick shower and you can get out of the house.
Continue to take those baby steps, they are important for you both !
kuraiza you've been given great advice, and i just wanted to mention the thyroid gland
When DD was 3 months old i was so exhausted i was lying on the sofa most of every day, my hair was falling out in clumps, i felt cold all the time (in Scotland though, so it IS colder here), and i had a large swelling in my throat which ached sometimes. It turned out that my thyroid gland was being attacked by my immune system, but post-partum (that is, temporary, mine is permanent) thyroiditis is actually rather common. Your doctor can check for this with a simple blood test and if you do have it they can give you levothyroxine - a little pill once a day which replaces what you're unable to make. If it's post-partum your thyroid will spontaneously recover on its own, but the drugs make a MASSIVE difference to how you feel. What struck the loudest bell with me was the feeling of it being an ordeal to even leave the house. I was like a slug, everything felt too hard. I just wanted to curl up and sleep for a month. I was a single mum by then and it was SO SO exhausting (DD was an ok sleeper, fed 3-4 times a night but slept for 60-90mins twice a day in the daytime).
So sorry for what you're going through. I'm another mum of a non-sleeper and I remember those terrible despairing times. She almost two now and still not sleeping through, although she's much better and easier to resettle now. Here are the things that have saved us:
co-sleeping. It truly is the best way to get the most sleep possible. Don't worry about forming habits at this stage, you're in survival mode
I didn't start Mothers' Group until my daughter was three months and it was fine. There were a range of ages there.
Nap when he naps, even if it's only for forty five minutes. You'll be amazed at the difference it makes
Your husband needs to get up with him in the morning so you can have an extra hour sleep. This is non-negotiable, as you have no other support
Make sure he is tightly swaddled. There is a fantastic book called 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' with amazing footage of very fussy babies instantly calming from tight swaddling and loud (vaccuum cleaner level) white noise. I wish I'd known about it when my daughter was small. The Happiest Baby
it's normal for your hair to start falling out between three and six months after giving birth. I lost about a third of my hair, it's just about recovered now.
feeding every two hours is fine and totally normal for a baby his age. Talk to an Australian Breastfeeding counsellor, or email the help line, for reassurance and ideas. Australian Breastfeeding Association
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. It is nothing you are doing or not doing. Some (many) babies just don't need as much sleep as others. If you can't resettle after his first sleep cycle in five minutes, give it up. Just put him down for a nap earlier. Life is too short to spend hours trying to resettle a crying baby.
Go for a walk even if you're exhausted. You will feel better, I promise.
It won't be like this forever. It really, really won't. Do not get hung up on all that sleep scheduling and routine advice, follow your baby's lead. You'll have plenty of time to change sleep associations when he's over six months.
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