THe things you describe, my DS was the same at that age. I think that by around 2y 3-4m it was all a lot easier. I was quite lucky in the timing of DD's arrival in regards to his little phases. So, you know, fingers crossed things get a bit easier with your DD in the next few months.
I had to bathe with DS too! What a hassle. Well I just started telling him there wasn't room for my belly and him. And some days he just didn't have a bath.
I don't know how you cope with a FIFO partner - the thought frankly terrifies me. All I can say is if you coped with one like this, then I'm sure you can cope with 2. And if not, could you look into work here for your DH? I'm sure it's less money, but sometimes you just have to strike a balance.