I wish I had the answers Mel. Sounds like you're having a really hard time with her. If you need a break from her, feel free to drop her off here for a couple of hours -I'm not just offering to be nice, I mean it!
Registered User
I wish I had the answers Mel
Registered User
Lilias - she is jealous, and we know that. But i think there is only so much you can "Favour" her, without the other two getting upset and wanting their share of attention too ya know?
I know you were offering suggestions - but sometimes its hard to hear suggestions when you already know what the problem is (plus I had a toddler in my arms whilst typing so had to be brief). We know she wants attention, we know she is jealous - hence the extra stuff we do with her. But I think the only solution to the problem (for her) would be to give the other two away and ya know - thats not an option. So how much more do I take from the other two to give to her?
Sounds like you are giving your DD plenty of one-on-one time....so it mustn't be that then.
She had a hearing test when she was born? But thats the only one so far. She doesn't suffer from ear infections that much, its the other two that seem to have that problem.
has she ever had a hearing test????? or ears checked for fluid/glue ear??
I do stuff with her, gosh its sounding like everyone thinks I don't do stuff with her. I pulled out stuff today for her to do, when Eden was asleep so she couldn't wreck it on the older two, so we had a good morning, and then as soon as Eden was awake, the fights started. I don't do play doh when Eden is awake though, because DD1 just pulls it apart and puts it on the floor for DD2 to eat - which she knows she's not allowed to do, but doesn't stop her from doing it.Def sounds like attention seeking in my humble opinion babe.... and its SO hard to address with other little ones, trust me....
Would she understand an "allocated" time? You can put a sticker on the clock at say 12pm, and tell her when the hands get there, she can pick what to do with mummy.. (doesnt matter if DS is there, but bub should b ein bed, and its her choice what you do) or pick a job, packing up, then its her turn to choose.. even pulling out paint and playdough, and saying "Your big now, you choose!"
It got so hard with mine I started to throw their toys out... if they done something they had just been told NOT to do, i would throw out a fave toy.. tears and tantrums, but when i threatrened it again, they knew I meant it, and they'd straighten up quick smart!!
Even just calling her a "big girl" can make a massive difference (sometimes!), and giving her a "job" when she looks bored.. even whispering that she is very big now, and ds1 cant do it, so can she please wipe the toilet.. give her a wet cloth and let her go... playing little games like this can distract from the nasty behaviour.. (again, sometimes!)
Good luck sweets, its so hard..xoxoxoxoxo
Nah I couldn't do that to you guys - I think you guys have enough on your plate at the moment. Thanks for the offer though. I'd hate it if she started beating up your little man.I wish I had the answers Mel
defently not second child syndrom cause M is my vicious, screaming, not listening violent child.
I have days were I feel like im rocking back and forward in the corner because of his behaviour. V and I end up going outside into the garden or my bedroom to get away from it.
I take my hat of to you though, atleast you havent smacked back....I have and as much as I didnt like it and hated my reaction it did make him stop for a short time.
its so much easier when their at school
Registered User
OMG - Your DD1 and My DD1 (who are the same age) are peas on a pod! (I only have one other to worry about though) Big
I completely understand where you are coming from and same as you, i'm yet to find a solution that works. It sounds like you are doing everything you can and hopefully (or at least i'm hoping) its a phase they are going through and it will pass
Can we send them both on a holiday together somewhere - get it all out of their systems and come back to us as nice kids again
Registered User
I don't think anyone was thinking that you don't do stuff with her hun. We all know you're a great mumma. I just think it's that she has higher attention needs than the other two, and acts out accordingly. She's found that hurting and being mean to the others makes you come to pay her attention, albeit negative attention. But if she's getting into trouble, then I guess in her mind the other two aren't getting attention, kwim? And it's possibly just the terrible twos.
DS is going through it now and pushes me to the end of my tehter. It's making me tear my hair out becasue DD never went through it. DD was pretty bad at 3, but it has gone now and she's back to her normal pretty thoughtful little self. But DS just tries stuff to push buttons. I see him glance at me before he does something he thinks will get my back up, then the look of 'mischevious' on his face when he does it and I get cranky at him. He's just trying out what he can do and what he can't but by god he ****s me!!!
Have you tried not paying her attention. So if she lays on E, pull her off, turn your back to her and pay all of the attention to E, and get A in on the act too if you can, you know 'Poor baby, are you ok, awww, that squashed you didn't it, come on let us(as in you A and E) go play nicely together.' Then M needs to apologise to E for hurting her, and she can join you when she's going to be nice...You have probably tried it....but hey thought I'd try to make a useful suggestion!
Registered User
BellyBelly Member
oh hun its such a tough situation..
we can all tell you have tried soo many things adn its still not helping.
tay gets like that soemtimes especially when im near maree.
i just be sterna dn ignore the behavious, i make sure everyone is safe ofcourse. but when she starts carrying on, i just look her in teh eyes and say " taylah, your nwo a big girl, you want to continue to act like a naughty girl, fine but please do it where i cant see it like your bedroom. if you want to stay out here, be nice and behave"
then i ask her to apologise to everyone once she has settled down.
so she really understands that ehr behaviour is not acceptable.
Moderator
Registered User
Registered User
I think lilias said it well-but boy oh boy where are you supposed to pull the extra time fromI just think it's that she has higher attention needs than the other two, and acts out accordingly.
So I dunno, but big hugs
Registered User
Sorry .I wish I had answers. It is so tiresome, draining, and all the rest of it. Big massive hugs.
I think you're doing awesome too.
xox
Mel - sounds alot llike me DS2! No matter what I do he just gets worse all I can offer is big :hugs: and hope and pray that WE find a solution!!!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks