Oh no, I have no advice either, but I have some opinions and ideas

I like the idea of only giving him the meal you prepare and not give him something else afterwards, BUT in all honesty I am guilty of doing the EXACT same thing The theory sounds great, I even sometimes put her plate in the microwave for when she comes and ask for something to eat I can just put her left-overs infront of her. (BTW it has NEVER been eaten ) In THEORY they will eat when they are hungry, BUT over the weekend she had fallen asleep before dinner and I felt terrible. She did wake up at 11pm and I gave her some cereal And we mommies worry about them not eating

They (they who) also say that it's better to give him a choice. He can have his cheese in squares or grated. He can have sausage in slices or whole. I don't know if that would work for him being a little more flexible in what SHAPE his food is in. It might make him feel more grown-up and more in control. rambling

About the toys .... *sigh* have no cooking clue, so sorry.
but i so didn't want to parent by buying them exactly the same things
I hear you, me neither. Kids should be prepared for life and life is not like that.

Any chance that you can do something "special" during the day, just with him. MAYBE he is trying to get more of your attention. I'm not saying your a bad mommy, no way. Just that with a new baby in the house, he might feel a bit left out. I have two also and I have to out of my way to make time for dd to do "special" things with her. We go to the shops alone, I bath her alone, I comb her hair, we have tickle fights, we bake biscuts and make dinner. Just so that she gets some of my attention exclusively.

Goodluck, it's really hard work being a mommy.