With toys, that's normal. Ask him to pick his favourite big boy toys baby can't have and some little boy toys baby can have - and some that they share too. But he should be encouraged to give his brother ONE toy so brother can join in the game.

I'd stop buying toys too, only if baby breaks the toy, so your son knows that it's OK to let baby play with a toy even if it breaks.

As for food. DS gets dinner with us. He must TRY the food. If he hates it, he can eat what he likes only, so long as he tries it. If he hates the whole thing, he can have bread and butter. I do not make another meal. We all eat together even if DS only has bread and butter (which he loves). Last night I made a lovely salmon and green bean stir fry (with courgette and tomato sauce) and rice. DS only ate the rice (a big portion in the end), he spat the beautifully moist and fally-aparty salmon out. No stress, more for me. Just have to remember the no stress thing because he did try some of it.

Say no, acknowledge the tantrum but don't give in. Soon the toddler will learn that you love him, you hear his pain, but you are in charge. You can do this gently, but gentle parenting doesn't mean giving in to tantrums. I do try to avoid tantrums, but if DS wants something he can't have (eg wants to run on the road, wants me to get out of bed at 6am...) then he can have a cuddle, have his frustration acknowledged, but not what he wants.

HTH and the very best of luck to you.