*hugs*
it is hard when you have to keep on keeping on and people depend so much on you when all you want to do is stop and have a moment. I'm sorry to hear about your loss of your mum. take care of yourself, you need to look after yourself so you can then be the mum you need to be to your kids.
So sorry about losing your mum
Give yourself time. The joy will come back, but naturally it's hard right now. Your kids will be ok - they do know something is up, but going through the motions can get you through for a while.
Do you think talking with someone might help? Do you have help to get a break, just a bit of time to stop for yourself?
Grief is a terrible thing, and I cannot imagine how you must feel, but even without that, I would not resent you wanting moments without your children...no matter how much I want my own, each person is travelling a different road, and we cannot put ourselves in their shoes.
Be kind to yourself, and allow those moments to feel sad, and resent that your children have their mother, and you do not.
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