2nd time mother's guilt...

[Arcadia]

Yes evenings are tricky with a newborn and preschooler. We had to make adjustments to make it easier. Dh is very rarely home before kids are in bed so I had to find a solution. For us it was lying down in bed with DD and feeding ds while dd cuddled my back. She would then go to sleep easily and we all looked forward to it. On the plus side it meant ds fell into her bed routine easily and I had them both in bed by 6:30pm most nights.

I think flexibility is important and letting go of all the self imposed rules you might have. Cuddling in front of the tv with your two boys is a perfect way to spend the day.

Go easy on yourself.

[HotI]

it took me about 6 months, when my two started interacting more and I could see benefits of having a sibling, to be able to lose the guilty feelings.

it was a tough time with high needs kids, so it may not take that long for you.

my partner is a shift worker, and nights can be tough with more kids than parents.

hang in there.