I provide a good example, IMO, of dressing nicely and neatly and in a co-ordinated way for my kids. My DS loves to 'match' and co-ordinate, and so does DD.
Neither of them have been much exposed to influences that send messages about what's prescribed for girls, so my DD doesn't 'naturally' choose 'girly' things in the shops. I limit the amount of Wiggles watching, even, because the pinkness ascribed for girls that is taken as a 'given' is not what I want her to think is in any way natural. She hangs out with heaps of boys - younger, older and her own age, - which gently challenges them in their assumptions they may be accustomed to, and also keeps her out of direct line of sight to girls who are already conditioned to 'pretty' themselves up.
It's going to be hard enough to keep her sense of perspective about her place in the world when everyone we meet instantly mentions her looks before anything else about her, and she has plenty to offer apart from her looks. She has plenty of time to realise that her looks will have currency at some stage, so now is the time, at age 2.5yo to hone in on the skills and attributes that will last a lot longer and cut through the superficial layers.
My kids see me do things I love that I get better and better at, that have nothing to do with how I look. I don't play on my looks or play them up to be something they're not. I work on what I leave behind when my time is up. All of this is relevant to how I raise my kids, including how I show them how to dress. Girls need more than looks to get them through their 20s, if they manage to coast their teens on their looks and dress!
No headbands here, no earrings, no princess dress ups, no princess-type movies for either of them. No way I want my son to think girls need rescuing or need to invest in their looks to be worthy of attention. He finds the oddest looking girls to be attractive, and I concede that I need them 'odd' due to my upbringing and being told what's beautiful and important about a girl's foray into the world! I love that about DS, and what he teaches me about beauty.
And with no TV reception, it's a lot easier to filter out those messages from the conventional world