thread: Adorning girls

  1. #37
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    Jun 2003
    Ubiquity
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    I don't feel any pressure at all. Hell no. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't buy things based on cute factor. I like to look good, and I like my kids to look good. DD has her own style, always has even at 2. When she was a baby I think I dressed her a lot daggier than she does herself now LOL. She's a bit of a fashionista. And I allow for stages... even when she went through the pink stage *shudder*. I will NEVER push my kids to dress the same as me. That doesn't mean that they don't imitate, I'm sure they do. But I grew up in a household where I was forced to wear certain things, and as a result I resented my wardrobe most of my life. And my mother was far from girly. And my father would have been happy if I was wearing a sack most of the time. I will always allow my children the freedom of choice, provided it's appropriate clothing.


  2. #38
    Registered User

    Nov 2007
    Country Vic - West of Ballarat
    1,568

    I also like to make my kids look nice when going out in public, although that being said they do have hanging around the house clothes which they wear most of the time and are starting to look a little worse for wear.

    DD has never been a headband girl, and even now if I put one on to keep the hair out of her eyes she will take it of anyway and even though I will brush DD's hair and put it up out of her face it will be a mess again within 10 minutes anyway and by the end of the day will be all knotted and will generally have some food stuck in there somewhere as well. DD does have some really pretty dresses but she rarely wears them (to parties mainly) and will generally live in leggings or trackies as they are more practical, although saying that she does wear lots of pink and purple - but she prefers those colours anyway.

    The boys are always dressed similarly, not completely matching but generally the same pants or shorts and a different top and normally in colours which distinguish who is who (especially if we are going out as even though they aren't identical it makes it easier for people to identify a child with a certain colour ie: "Rhys is the one wearing blue and Liam is the one wearing red" also when you see a child out of the corner of your eye the colour immediately tells me who it is).

    I must admit though that it is nice to hear when we are out how people comment that my life must be busy but my children all look well cared for and tidy (not saying that unless your child is dressed up and looking tidy they aren't cared for - no offence to anyone.)

  3. #39
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Gold Coast
    1,153

    I like my DS to wear nice clothes for a special event.
    So I buy him a nice pair of brand name cargo's or shorts and one or two nice tops per season (or he gets them as gifts for xmas/birthday)
    The rest of the time its mostly plain tshirts/skivvies and dark pants/shorts. I find these are fine for kindy and our usual weekend activities
    I dont like licenced stuff (well, the price) and so far, DS doesnt care.
    I dont like him wearing stained or ripped clothes, so I just try and buy darker colors and so far DS doesnt seem to be too hard on his clothes.
    Short, clean fingernails and a clean face and non snotty nose are another must here, but we dont ever do hair product or anything like that.
    If i had girl, I think I would go for funky as opposed to cutesy type clothing, but that is what I would choose to wear myself also.

  4. #40
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    4,895

    If you have a daughter, do you feel it necessary to make her look pretty?
    If you have sons as well, do you do the same for them?

    If so (or not), why?

    I have almost zero interest in my appearance, as anyone who's ever met me can attest, and I think I will die if my daughter grows up interested in fashion and stuff like that. my god, what if she wants to wear makeup!!!?? What if my son wants to?
    I felt no pressure to make DS look "good", but with DD I detect - so far subtle - pressure to ensure she is pretty. I hate that. I don't ever want my kids to feel defined by the way they look. I also just cannot be arsed with things like that.

    I'm not alone in eschewing those girly headbands - so noone thinks your baby is a boy - and dressing my daughter in her brother's hand-me-downs (yep, she gets called he all the time) am I?
    Not pretty, but clean and presentable when out. When she was younger, like a baby I used to dress her in comfortable clothes that were clean and no holes, stains etc... Once she turned 2 yo, she would pretty much tell me what she didn't want to wear, so out went the track pants and in come the skirts & dresses etc.... She dresses herself today & I will ask what clothes she likes before buying them b/c otherwise I'd just spend money for no reason. Her favourite colour is pink & something I certainly did not push onto her. I always chose different colour clothes & never pushed her to pick pink but alas she will tell you that is her favourite colour! I had tried headbands in the past however DD never liked anything on her head & it is only now b/c she is at kinder that she sees other girls with their hair 'pretty' and she wants hers to look the same.

    I don't have any other children (born) yet but would I be the same with a boy - yes, I'd definately choose clothes to be clean & presentable, particularly when going out of the house.

    I like to look and feel good, for me & me only though. I do wear make-up most of the time & I choose not to wear 'casual' (ie: trackpants) outside of the home because I think it looks sloppy, of course my opinion only.

  5. #41
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    In my own little fantasy world
    2,946

    I love dressing my DD up. I was most disappointed when dresses proved to be impractical for crawling in. Now that she is almost walking, the dresses will be coming out again. Well maybe after winter the dresses will come out. I put clips in her hair. She pulls them out . Mostly, she wears t-shirts with leggings/shorts/nappy covers. I would just go t-shirt & nappy but DD likes to take her nappy off. But I love, love, love dressing her up.

    DS used to be dressed in matching outfits. Now that he has decided to have an opinion for himself, I don't get a say. I'm lucky if I can convince him to actually get dressed in something I've bought him. Usually he insists on wearing whatever grandma bought him Although I had a win today.

    Everyday stuff is practical but still nice - as in no holes, awful stains, or wrong sizes. For going out & parties, I dress DD up. I try to dress DS up but he won't always co-operate.

    I don't see anything wrong with headbands or clips. I didn't put headbands on DD when she was a newbie but that was only because she screamed if I tried. I don't think there's anything wrong with encouraging little girls (or boys for that matter) to care for their appearance. People do judge on looks, particularly for first impressions. I will admit it, I have rejected potential dates because of what they wore (holey t-shirts didn't win me over!). If you can't make an effort to look nice for a date, what else will you not make an effort in? IYKWIM. I think the same goes for job interviews. Who would employ someone who didn't make an effort to look presentable? Keep in mind that I work in an office environment so appearance may not be important in some industries but when you deal with clients, it can be. If you can't make an effort for an interview, what kind of effort will you put into your work? JMO.

    ETA: My DS loved pink! Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) there are no pink boys clothes otherwise he would wear it everyday. I think because it is a strong bright colour, it appeals to kids. So no matter what we do, they will love it. I do try to avoid pink for DD, but there's just no escaping it.

  6. #42
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Ouiinslano
    5,303

    I'm somewhere in between. Functional, mostly. Pretty? A little bit.

    I love dresses for me, so I also love them for her. She wears hats for sun protection (and, lately, just because) and shoes for foot protection, when required, and we just got her the shoes that would go with the most of her clothes.

    My MIL buys her a *lot* of pink stuff, even when I ask her not to. If I buy something new, especially PJs or swimming togs, or something that will be handed down, I try to get stuff that is gender neutral. But we buy so much second hand stuff that my choices are a little bit dictated by what other people do.

    Lately she loves skirts because she can put them on herself, and who am I to argue with that?

    She has pink nappies because occasionally they're cheaper. She owned two before she was even born, so we didn't know we were having a girl. Figured we could just cover them up if we had to.

    We own 4 hairclips, but they don't often get used.

    She has got into my makeup and loves the feel of the big brush, but I'd have no problem with a little boy doing that either?

  7. #43
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    Rural NSW
    491

    I love buying clothes for my DS and I love him looking funky. I feel no pressure to do this but I do it becuase he looks so damn spunky. I must admit that I always feel proud when someone comments on his clothes. Having said that all his clothes are practical.

    I do however remeber a comment that my boss's wife told me once "people will judge you on how your kids look" and my mum used to say that she did not care how she looked as long as my brother and I looked good. I do not know if this is true and I certainly feel no pressure but I guess that it is out there, but then I have a boy.

    I do notice that there is a lot more variety for girls in clothing than boys which is why I buy a lot of my stuff from American websites - it also means that I can pretty much guarantee that my boy will be the only one dressed in his "style".

  8. #44

    Mar 2004
    Sparta
    12,662

    I judge people on how their kids are dressed. Not on what style or label their clothes are but on how appropriate they are for the weather. Every year I see kids wearing shorts and shivering at school in the morning. I know that children say they don't want to wear a jumper because mine say the same thing but as parents it's our job to tell them to wear a jumper anyway or at least put one in the car so that once they realise that it really is freezing out they can put it on.
    Our school paid $60k in power bills last year and a large portion of that was for heating classrooms so that children who were dressed inappropriately for our winter were warm enough to concentrate.

  9. #45
    Registered User

    May 2007
    3,220

    Not saying that I like to dress my daughter to look pretty, but she likes to dress herself to what she thinks looks pretty. She is always in dresses or skits, the pinker the better, she often has on some necklaces, bracelets or even the occasional tiara. She may wear some fairy wings. She ALWAYS has hairclips or accessories in her hair, and she chooses how she wants it done.

    She thinks she is beautiful, and I tell her she is every day.

  10. #46
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    I will post more when I get to the computer.... Just wanted to say my PET hate is when at the shops or somewhere & DD1 is wearing a dress that's quite pretty, she will get comments from old ladies saying "oooooh look at your pretty dress aren't you beautiful!!" yet ifshes just wearing shorts and top no one comments.

    This must send the message to my 3yr old that "I only get noticed when I'm wearing a dress. " ****es me off!!!!

  11. #47
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
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    I tend to put the same effort into dressing DD as I do myself - if it's clean, suits the weather, and goes with the other clothes she's wearing, it goes on. Sometimes that means she's in a red shirt and blue pants, and likely to be referred to as a boy if we go out. Sometimes it means a pink sparkly dress with pink leggings. The other day it was a grey & white shirt with blue pants because we were going to the footy and I couldn't find her white-and-blue team onesie.

    Occasionally I'll deliberately put her in "girly" clothes because I feel like dressing her up (this is usually on days I feel like dressing myself up too), but it doesn't happen often. I do buy girly clothes, but usually it's just because they caught my eye and I think they're cute. I do the same for gender-neutral and boys' clothes, too.

    Once she's a bit older, I'll either do the "you can wear whatever you like" thing or the "these are your choices" thing. Actually, I'm kinda-sorta doing that now, she's wearing pants that she brought over to me while I was looking for a different pair today

  12. #48
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    Jul 2007
    in a super happy place!
    1,008

    I love clothes and dressing up, and I have transfered that love to dressing my children lol. DS has had his hair spiked into a mohawk since forever, and he recently got it cut at his request into 'Justin Bieber' style I like him to comfortable but I do put a bit of effort into what he wears.

    DH was absolutely panicked when we fell pregnant with twin girls - he hid his credit card because he knew I would go wild. My girls have a wardrobe full of handmade dresses, tutus, headbands, sparkly shoes and they are the most feral little things you have ever seen. They spend all day outside in the sandpit and rolling around in the mud. We do baby led solids and they are covered head to toe in food after every meal. I can't put nice clothes on them because they would kill them DH said to the other night "You know what I love about the girls, they always look like little bogans" as they crawled around wearing DS's old clothes.

    We got family photos done about a month ago and I dressed them in tutus, and gorgeous singlets with headbands which they spent the whole time trying to rip off - but they looked cute in the photos. They will probably hate me when they are older

  13. #49
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    Sep 2004
    Melb - where my coolness isn't seen as wierdness
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    My kids wore hand me downs when they were young and even then they were well turned out. And it was same for boys and girls. I don't feel pressure per se to make them look good, I think I am someone who puts stock in dressing well so this translates to my kids.

    My XH is a bit of a weekend slob, and my youngest has all the same traits as a result. I buy him jeans and snappy jackets and nice shirts but when he comes over, all he has are ratty track-pants, t-shirts and the uglist hoodies I've ever seen. This is not acceptable for me, and it irks me no end.

    In the end I know that some people value looking well-presented and others don't, and for all the clothes, jewellery and shoes I buy or give my almost 22yo DD, she still prefers to bum around in trackie-daks and a big t-shirt. I still think she's the most gorgeous thing ever, but I do sometimes sigh when I see her wearing the same t-shirt 2 days in a row. So yes, I do like my kids to look pretty, dashing, handsome, whatever, in terms of how they adorn themselves. Unfortunately, they chose their own path from very young so I only really had control until they went to school, really!

  14. #50
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    Nov 2009
    Scottish expat living in Geelong
    5,572

    I used to love dressing my kids up in cute outfits when they were younger, but they all have their own sense of style now. My sons all like to wear checked shirts and jeans most of the time so the only thing I try to implement is that they are clean. My daughter goes through stages and I let her wear what she likes, so sometimes she will wear a dress every day for weeks (often a wonderwoman dress or fairy dress with wings) but now she is into a baggy shorts stage so she wears shorts, t-shirts and her skate shoes, with her poncho on top and pink bracelets around her ankles because apparently that is where they look best. All the kids have a wide variety of styles of clothing in their wardrobes (mostly hand me downs) so they have a lot of sway over their style.

  15. #51
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    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    She thinks she is beautiful, and I tell her she is every day.
    Do you tell your son that he is too? Do you talk about their strength, or intelligence or humour? Is there a difference in how you talk to your boy or girl children on these other traits?

    (not you specifically, Lilima, just things that i have been thinking about)

  16. #52
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    Feb 2010
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    I don't think DS ever has a clean face except when he gets out of the bath! purely cos I am not willing to go thru the melt down that results.
    I am pretty meh about my looks and what i wear. If we are going out for dinner or something i will put on makeup and a nice outfit but other than that i am most likely in trackies. I only have owned dresses since 2007. I was one of those kids parents cringed at, I was most often found in gumboots, my male cousins hand me downs with fairy costume over the top...
    Tho I almost always wear a fabric headband or a zillion bobbypins tho cos my hair is evil and makes a halo around my head I often think it would be easier to shave my head.

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Tapatalk 2

  17. #53
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    Jun 2003
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    DS gets compliments, as does DH. What's awesome is both kids compliment us too. We try and teach them their value, not just in looks but in all areas. Great question HotI!

  18. #54
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    In my own little fantasy world
    2,946

    Do you tell your son that he is too? Do you talk about their strength, or intelligence or humour? Is there a difference in how you talk to your boy or girl children on these other traits?

    (not you specifically, Lilima, just things that i have been thinking about)
    I do. Both my kids get told how pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, clever, funny, cute, sweet, kind, whatever is most appropriate all the time. I praise anything that I feel deserves praise.

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