ADVICE - Please help me be a good SAHM

[Amber4]

I promise I'm not trying to hijack this thread but I got on BB this afternoon in search for exactly the same thing as you Epacris! You all sound like you've got some great ideas and routines going on but many seem as though they are for a little bit older kids (???) and I would love to pick your brains about what you did when they were smaller, if that's OK?

My DD has just turned 1 and after several pretty traumatic (for both of us) attempts at putting her into care in the past 7 months (first family day care then childcare centre) we've decided to give up for a year or two and accept that we're all going to be a lot less stressed if I stay at home with her. My concerns are that she has outgrown some of her baby routine and most of her toys and usual activities, and I'm at a loss as to how to keep us both relatively sane and happy through this time! I would like to get us into a flexible routine but atm I am really fumbling and end up putting her in front of the TV with her toys for half the day and even she is getting sick of this!

She's also becoming more and more clingy and wants to be with me virtually everywhere... however she hasn't yet managed to crawl or walk which makes her incredibly frustrated. She can 'walk' if she holds my hands everywhere which of course she wants to do all of the time

My DH travels a lot too so although he's great when he's here, he works 6 days/week when he's in town and is away about 4 months of the year in business travel.

We have a mum's group but the days vary each week to try and fit in with everyone's work schedules so we can usually only make it once a fortnight as it conflicts with weekend activities or swimming etc. I would love to start going to the gym a few times a week for me but am wary of putting her in the creche there as she is SO clingy and seems to have such huge separation anxiety atm.

Also, fyi if it helps... these are the bits of our day that are "routine" so to speak: She has 2 bottles a day. The first is as soon as she wakes up at around 6:30am as she still cries for it on waking (this makes it hard as far as meal routines go because she usually won't eat anything else until 8am and even then she will only pick at say half a piece of toast). The second bottle is before she goes to bed at night. She also still has 2 naps.. the first one is about 9:30am and the second about 2pm. They last for anywhere from 1 - 2 hours so can make getting out of the house tricky I find. We usually do bath around 4:30 or 5pm and her dinner at about 5:30 or 6pm, but again when her naps vary quite a lot these times can get thrown out the window! One of the hardest things is her bedtime... she just doesn't seem tired before 8 or 8:30pm and if we put her to bed earlier she just screams herself until she's soaked in sweat and this could go on for half an hour. We decided long ago it was more peaceful to go with a later bedtime when she doesn't fight it and drops off to sleep usually pretty quickly and quietly. BUT it means DH and I often don't eat dinner til 8:30pm and of course there's not much time to relax in the evening with her up so long.

Would really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions on how to be a better SAHM to her... like Epacris I don't want to be mother of the year but good enough would be great for us I think! Thanks